Its not a tumor, well, actually it is....

The Support Goes on...

2011-06-13T17:55:00.000-07:00

Just dropping in to say a super thank you to all of the people who donated to either ABTA, MS or the memorial fund.

I sent $1400.00 to ABTA, $600.00 to MS and I believe I have found the memorial bench that I am going to get for my yard with monies donated in memory of Steve. The outpouring of love has been overwhelming. Words cannot express my gratitude.

It has been a rough couple weeks but as we have said for many months, it is what it is.

I want to share a little surprise happening with all of you, a true Talbott moment. For those of you who don't know, June 7, 2011 would have been Steve and my 14th wedding anniversary. (hold the tears, you aren't even close to the super touching part) The Sunday prior to the big day, I was planting the perennial garden that Steve's Aunt, Uncle & cousin gave me, I was in the back back of the yard. As I was walking up to the house to get more water, I saw someone in the house. Now,in all of the time Steve & I lived in our house, drop in visitors have been few & far between. At first I was like...Who is in my house, followed by a quick...where is my shovel?

Good news, it wasn't a burglar, it was Joanne, my mother-in-law. She stopped on the way back from little Michael's first birthday party. Well, Joanne was standing in the kitchen holding what was obviously a Crimson Ridge gift of some sort. Me being me, I was thinking, when did they start having party gifts at kids parties?

Anyway, as it turns out, the Tuesday before he died, Steve asked his mom to get me some Godiva for our anniversary. What can I say, once a princess, always a princess, that guy sure knew how to spoil me.

Well, after a nice cry and a little laughing I realized in true Steve fashion he was thinking of me even at the end, and I didn't even have a card for him. I cannot put to words how much I treasured my time with Steve. Don't get me wrong, we all have our isms and we both drove each other nuts at times but, even those isms will be missed greatly.

I was blessed to have 40+ months with Steve after the doctors but a 9-12 month window on that time. We did a lot of living in that time, and most importantly, we lived without regret.

My recommendation to you...LIVE. If you want dessert for dinner, do it. Pink shoes with a green top? Why not. Thinking, hmmm the wife/husband would like that (insert item here), buy it for them, they'll like it. Thinking a trip to the Caribbean sounds like a good idea? GO, take friends.

Bottom line...LIVE, don't put things off, don't second guess should I or shouldn't I. Steve and I lived the past 40+ months without regret. Yes, we did a lot and yes, we laughed even more. I will treasure each and every moment, even those when he was driving me nuts. :)

Again, thanks to all of you who donated to our two charities of choice and to the memorial fund. Your generosity is overwhelming but greatly appreciated.

Until the next post...Peace Out,

Kim

Best Worst Days

2011-05-28T19:15:00.000-07:00

I guess to say the past few days have been the best worst days I have ever had is a good way to sum it up.

On Thursday, May 19, 2011 at 11:05 a.m. I lost my very best friend and a very large piece of my heart. Steve passed, quietly, peacefully and surrounded by family. I treasure the precious opportunity I had to be there with him when he passed.

I say these past few days were the best worst days, the worst part, that is quite obvious. How can I possibly call them the best in any way shape or form? Well, people have reached out from so many places. Steve's family and I have heard from people from his old neighborhood when he was growing up to high school friends, previous employees, previous co-workers of mine that I haven't heard from in years, as well as previous students who remain close and many many more friends, family and loved ones.

I wanted to provide the opportunity to pay respects as well as celebrate the impact Steve had on so many people. I believe we did that. My nephew, the infamous Tony, said that though he heard/saw tears, there was by far more laughter as people recalled times with Steve or how he had inspired them. I have always been proud of Steve and all that he accomplished and he gave me one more opportunity to be the very proud wife of an amazing man.

It is my intent to keep the blog up and post intermittently, no promises on the frequency but some life happenings are worthy of this particular blog. One such life happening...On Wednesday, May 25, 2011. Miss Ava became a big sister, Ella Marie arrived to put a bit of brightness in our lives. It is my mission to make sure both of the girls as well as Steve and I's slew of nieces, nephews,and great nieces & nephews are sufficiently spoiled and that they remember "uncle teeb".

To all of you who sent love, prayers and support over the years, please know how much it meant to both Steve and I and know that he beat the odds because of the strength he got from all of you. I will forever hold all of you in my heart and be eternally grateful for the support you gave to Steve. Only one thing left to say...Peace Out ;)

Kim

A bit of a hiccup...

2011-05-18T18:33:00.000-07:00

Someone said to me today, just when you adjust to the latest thing, another one creeps up. So is the case. As the title says, we hit a bit of a hiccup today. I got a call this morning at work that Steve was having some trouble breathing (an O2 level of 87, not what you want) and his heart was racing (add heart rate of 130 to the O2 level...ugh).
He was taken to OSF for another ER trip, for those keeping track, it was 3 weeks ago today that we were there for the fall. Tests were run etc. determination...several large blood clots in both lungs, one near his heart which led to the increased heart rate.
The plan to address the clots is to use injectable blood thinners with oral blood thinners. The goal is to stop the growth of the clots and they will eventually be reabsorbed in the body. The injections are only during the time it takes to get the clots under control with the oral meds to handled maintenance.
As of right now Steve is in NICU, that will be for "several days", I don't know what the medical definition of "several" is I guess we will find out. After that he will go to a "monitoring" floor. Then I am assuming back to the skilled care facility.
I will keep you as up to date as I am able to, as you may have noticed, I am not as on top of keeping the blog up to date as I probably should be, yet another reason why I don't "Face Book" like the cool kids.
As always, thanks in advance for all of the thoughts, prayers and just flat out love and support you keep sending our way. It is appreciated more than you know.

Peace Out,

Kim & Steve

Return of the blog

2011-04-30T18:30:00.000-07:00

It has been quite some time since the blog has been updated, apologies for that but Steve has gotten into FaceBook and has taken that on as his form of communication with many people. I however don't FaceBook so I won't be maintaining that for him.
I don't know where things were left off but I am just going to play quick catch up with the past six months.
First off, you may have caught on by this point...this is Kim, not Steve.
In the past six months the tumor has returned twice. Both times we went after them with what Dr. Howard calls retreatment radiation. It is essentially the same amount of radiation that Steve got during the initial radiation treatments in 2008 but it is given over a longer period of time. The tumors are in the same location but they shift just a little each time they return, they go just outside of the area that was radiated previously. Sneaky little buggers.
The retreatment radiations do quite a number on Steve, they cause serious fatigue and whereas both had significant impact on the left side weakness Steve has from the stroke in 2009, this last round really was hard.
We have had a phenomenal caregiver during the week while I am at work (Thanks Tony, you are truly special to us both and we will never be able to repay you, we love you very much)as being alone has not been an option.
Falls have been a concern for some time now and we have been pretty lucky that Steve has not hurt himself with some of the spills he has taken.
Last Wednesday, we had a bit of bad luck, only a bit, don't panic. Steve lost his footing getting into the transport chair we utilized at home for getting around when he is super tired. He took a spill and couldn't be caught, he hit his head on the coffee table on the way down. No blood, no loss of consciousness no concussion. Did get a trip to the ER though.
Prior to the spill, I had been looking into extended care facilities to help get some strength built back up. This fall made the process go a bit faster than anticipated. After the fall, Steve was not able to get his right leg to cooperate with him and do what he wanted it to do, this coupled with the left side weakness, made coming home impossible. We were already struggling to keep him safe and cared for with one person.
As you know, Steve is "a big guy" this is per Dr. Howard so I can say it. Some of the meds increase his appetite quite a bit and Dr. Howard has been telling Steve he doesn't like to see skinny cancer patients so, that coupled with my cooking hobby, lets just say, Dr. Howard is right.
Long story short, Steve was admitted to a skilled nursing facility this afternoon. They will be working on rehab to increase his strength. I don't know how long he will be there or what the next step is. I will do my very best to update the blog at least weekly.
We don't go back to Madison until June for an MRI to see if the radiation was effective or not. Also, at that time, the MRI may or may not be accurate due to the amount of radiation we have thrown at Steve's brain. At this time, we are just taking what we have knowing full well the tumor will come back again at some point. Thanks in advance for all of the prayers and support that all of you continue to send our way. Words cannot describe how much you all mean to us.

As you know, only one way to close this out...

Peace out!

I’m Back!

2010-10-10T05:55:00.000-07:00

10/9/2010

Sor ry for the long delay in my posts. 2010 has been a bit crazy. What I thought I would do today is have a catchup day. For you new followers I will give the readers digest/speed racer condensed version of my Cancer Journey. If you want the full story, please read my past posts from the beginning, which I encourage. Here is the quick chronological story:
12/27/2007 – You have an inner ear infection…ooops I mean Brain Tumor
1/29/2007 – Dr. Crute removes Tennis ball from my right temporal lobe in a quick 12 hour surgery. Friends and familysit in uncomfortable chairs in the waiting room and Lyle saves the day with Jimmy Johns. When pathology comes back we find out that I have a Glioblastoma multiforme IV,One asshole resident gives me 6-18 months and I said “wanna bet” and 34 months later I write to you today.
Q1 2008 – I recover quickly from the surgery and start a course of radiation 6 weeks 5x per week. I also start a cclinical trial of Chemo(Temodar)
March 2008 – the night I will never forget. After completing the first course of radiation, my buddy Marky – who comes in from Phoenix. Throws me an amazing surprise party see the post “a night to remember a night I will never forget to see how amazing. My keyboard is still dry at this point and if I write too much more about it, I will cry all over it.  Thanks again to everyone who came from far and near.
10/15/2009
After several clear MRIs, the Tumor comes back. Dr. Crute again performs a tumor resection. This time I had a little stroke during the surgery and spend2 weeks at inpatient rehab doing physical therapy, Occupational Therapy, and speech therapy along with 6-8 weeks of outpatient therapy.
11/2009 I start Avastin treatment before Thanksgiving evey two weeks.
3/29/2010
Its back again, but this time we do a non-invasive Stereotactic radiosurgery to NUKE the tumor. That works wonderfully and I get a clear MRI in May. Fast forward to 10/4/2010 – New MRI, get the results on 10/4
**********Current Day
MRI results Day – Its Back again. This time in 3 or 4 pieces. They cannot treat with Chemo or radiosurgery or crainiotomy. However, DEM SMART Doctors strike again. My Radiation oncologist, Dr. Roberts at UW, invented a new delivery method for radiation to allow for retreatment delivery of Radiation and its called Pulsed reduced dose rate Radiotherapy. It is the same dose delivered over longer period of time. I will begin this 10/12 and continue every weekday for 27 days.
Well folks, that brings us up to current day. There has been a lot of other things going on in the past few months, but I will save that for my next post that I will soon. The Fight goes on, and as always, I will never give up. Thanks for allowing me to express myself.

Good - Great - Exceptional, and SPECTACULAR

2010-05-26T14:53:00.000-07:00

Well, I have been having a pretty great week so far. Team Talbott showed up in force for the ABTA 5K at Soldier Field on Saturday. We raised over $5500 as a team. Thank you to everyone that donated and participated. It means more to me than I can express in words. However, today was the day for my first MRI since I had the Stereotactic Radiosurgery in March. As always, my nerves were on edge and sleep was difficult to get last night.
Here is where the GREAT comes into play. I had the MRI and proceeded to the lab for blood tests and then to see doc #1 for the day... Dr. Mehta (Radiation oncologist extraordinare) he took a look at the MRI images and came in and informed us that they looked GOOD! That alone made my day...but wait it gets better. After Mehta, we went to see Dr. Ian Robins (NeuroOncologist extraordinare)we went from the waiting room to the treatment room and through the standard routine...I lost Three Pounds! Woo Hoo only 30 more to go. So we are waiting for Ian to come into the treatment room. And waiting, and waiting. Kim and I already know the MRI is good, but Ian is starting to make us nervous. He comes in and apologies for being late, but he was studying the MRI, and studying. The results? The tumor aka lesion is GONE. Totally regressed. Exceptional right? NO. Apparently there is a clinical correlation between my being on Avastin treatment (ie Chemo) and having Stereotactic Radiosurgery. The Avastin works to clean out necrosis and assists in the nuclear anhilation of the tumor! So I asked the stupid question...This is good right? He says No, This is Spectacular, and amazing. He thinks this will be the protocol for this procedure in the future! Having that crazy smart doc of mine saying the results are spectacular is one for the record books. Usually, he is real cautious on the good news, but NOT TODAY!!

So if you are following along, GOOD=clean MRI, Great=Tumor regression Exceptional = Cancer docs at a loss for words, and SPECTACULAR = Dr. Robins saying the lesion is gone and lets increase space between MRIs from every 8 weeks to every 10 weeks.

LIFE is good!

Thank you everyone for the continued prayers! They result in SPECTACULAR things.:)

If it is not to much to ask, please keep my Father in your prayers as well. He is battling inoperable liver cancer. He is fighting like the trooper and old Farm Boy that he is, but I know the power and value of your Prayers.

Thank you all!

Peace Out!

ABTA

2010-05-19T19:19:00.000-07:00

Saturday is the ABTA Path to Progress 5K at Soldier Field in Chicago. This is an event that raises money for brain tumor research. I did this event last year and it proved to be an emotional but uplifting event. I have been looking forward to this event all year. THis year we created "Team Talbott" and have raised over $3600 for brain tumor research!! Most importantly I have a team of friends and supporters joining me in the walk. In case you haven't noticed in my posts over the last 2+ years, I have some absolutely amazing friends. Bringing them together for this cause is breathtaking! When my hope is challenged, as it has been over the past month or so due to the challenges in my father's Health, I always think of my support group and what they mean to me. Within minutes, my spirits are lifted! I will post pictures and thoughts after the event this weekend! Go Team Talbott! THank you for all you do.

Peace out!

Peace Out!

A Smile to end your day

2010-04-14T19:13:00.000-07:00

I went to Madison today for treatment. My buddy Lyle drove me. Thanks Lyle.

My day started outstanding. After getting to Lyle's house for the ride North, I not only got a refill on the coffee, but I got a big hug from his gorgeous 3 year old daughter AVA! Made me smile right from the start.

We continued on our way and had a great time catching up (except for the time I napped) :).

After I got home and finished up work for the day, I checked my email and got this from Lyle:

When I got home today, Ava asked me “where’s Steve?”. I told her you went home. She then went crying to Laura and said “mommy, Steve went home!!”.

Just wanted to share that…

Made my whole day! and to steal Lyle's line.... I Just wanted to share that! :)

For Little Miss Ava,

Peace Out!

It's Baaaack Redux

2010-03-28T06:36:00.000-07:00

So last Wednesday , I had my MRI check-up and that damn tumor is back. That is the bad news. the good news is that we are going to treat it with a non- invasive "Stereotactic Radiosurgery tomorrow Monday. This is an outpatient procedure using radiation to blast the tumor cells from hundreds of different angles with surgical accuracy without a cut.

So the process goes like this
1. Arrive at UW Cancer CLinic at 6am Monday 3/29..
2. get a "frame" placed on my head. 4 pins that hold it break the skin. I will wear this frame all day. Apparently this is the most painful part. they will give me a local anesthetic and valium (so I got that going for me. :)
3. with the frame on, I will get a ct scan. Dem smart docs will then go into a planning session to plan the surgery (think Really High level physics)
4. once the plan is done, they will take me into the Linear Accelerator (radiation machine)and I will receive the radiation blast. We won't know exactly how long the radiation will take until the planning is done, but 30-45 min is common. Once the surgery is done, they take off the frame and send me home! The Radiation doesn't hurt, it is about as painful as an Xray. I will be really fatigued for a couple days and have potentially have some eye puffiness late next week, but that's it. I will have a follow up MRI in a month which will hopefully show NO tumor growth and hopefully dead tumor. I go right back to my chemo schedule of every other Wednesday

So the tumor is back, which is not a huge surprise as we have always known that this thing will keep coming back. I am happy that my medical team is able to treat this with a noninvasive procedure. It is what it is and I will continue to fight this with everythng that I have!

The fight brngs me to the real reason for this post. When people find out that I am fighting Brain Cancer, they inevitably ask me how I can stay positive and smile. My answer is usually, it is what it is. Obviously, my family gives me strength as does my faith.

When I was freshman in college at Iowa State (GO CYCLONES!) I had periods of time where the life adjustment was difficult on me. I had a friend at the time who recognized what I was going through and gave me something that I still have to this day. It is a poem by an unknown author. For the past 20+ years, whenever I ran into a situation that I may have briefly considered giving up, I pull out this poem and reread it. I wanted to share it with you today. I hope you enjoy.

Don't Quit

When things go wrong as they sometimes wll;
Whe the road you're trudginig seems all uphill;
When the funds are low, and debts are high;
And you want to smile, but have to sigh;.
When care is pressing you down a bit-
Success is failure turned inside out;
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt;
And you can never tell how close you are;
t may be near when it seems afar.
So,stick to the fight when you're hardest hit-
It's when things go wrong that you must not quit.

Its a simple Poem that has helped me more times than I can count.

Never Never Quit!
Thank You SMITH Kinney!- my brother PHi Delt (My fraternity Phi Delta Theta) who Originally shared this with me in Late 1987.

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers!

Peace Out!

Seasons Changing, Attitude improving

2010-03-15T19:30:00.000-07:00

I apologize for not writing these past couple months, but I have been focusing my energies on re-engaging in our business. Jeff and I are working with a Marketing Group to help us rebrand our company. We are incredibly fortunate in that our business is doing well and we are actually hiring new employees and plan to bring on a couple more in addition to our onsite contract staff. Jeff has been fantastic growing our business while I was out.The weather in Northern Illinois is beginning to change and Spring is starting to show. I am excited for the weather improvement mainly because I have spent the Winter gaining back all of the weight I lost in the hospital last Fall. the change in the weather is finally allowing me to g et outside and begin biking again which I hope will help to slim my fat ass down.:) the first week of April, I have a conference in Vegas! Woo Hoo!, and Kim is going to Join me. It works out that school is out that week and she is in need of some rest and relaxation in the sun.
So the latest Health update is that the Avastin (Chemo) that I receive every other Wed at UW seems to be doing its job, my next MRI is March 24th. Overall, I have been feeling good other than the daily fight with allergies, which is normal with the change of seasons.

MAY 22, 2010 I will be walking in the American Brain Tumor Association Path To Progress 5K at Soldier Field in Chicago for Brain Tumor research. My great friend Mark Patrick is helping me this year. We have set up Team Talbott, and would love you to join us either by walking with us, or with your donation Any help you can give would be greatly appreciated and will go to a great cause! Check out the link and Thank You in advance

http://hope.abta.org/goto/Steven_Talbott

Peace out!!

Live for the moment - For Kim

2010-01-28T18:11:00.000-08:00

I will start today with a health update. Had my first MRI since starting the Avastin treatment. Dr. Robins was pleased with what he saw. The Avastin is doing what it is supposed to. YEAH! So I continue with biweekly treatments and MRIs every 8 weeks. I am feeling good and glad to get some good news.

The real purpose of this post is to discuss a show that I just watched on CBS that triggered a "switch" in my mind. The show was "Live for the moment" and hosted by the Survivor host Jeff Probst. The show was a week in the life of someone who has ALS or Lou Gehrig's disease. He was given the opportunity to do some amazing things that he always wanted to do. It was an obvious Made for TV program, but it moved me none the less.

I have done a good job burying reality deep in my mind. I put on my game face and pretend that I don't have Brain Cancer. I go around living my life oblivious to my surroundings and often taking for granted how much my wife Kim does for me every day. Let me try and put this into words. My last surgery was a tumor resection. during the surgery, I had what my Neurosurgeon described as a "Bleed" which basically means that it was unexpected bleeding that they had to deal with on the fly. Now there are two types of strokes...those caused by a blockage and those caused by a bleed. In other words, I had a minor stroke in the operating room.

The idea that I had a stroke at 40 was hard for me to grasp. I had obvious left side deficits and am told I still have a little droop on my left side when I am tired. After several weeks of speech, physical, and occupational therapy, I have recovered remarkably well and am doing great, but I am realizing that I still have some deficits. The deficits are mainly short term memory issues. Now I have been aware of these issues and have learned some great techniques like - Write shit down Dumbass! :) However, this is where I tend to take things for granted.

Let me start with Kim is everything to me. I not only love her, but I am in love with her. Kim has a very demanding job both during the day and in the evenings. That is who we are...work-a-holics. We love what we do and it helps to define who we are.

That is the simple part. The hard part is that I often unknowingly take advantage of her. If I sit back and am honest with myself, I rely on Kim for damn near everything...from keeping me current on my medications, to cooking and all in all being Lead CareGiver for me. This with a 60hr/wk job and a gimpy husband who doesn't use his head and help around the house and use the tools he learned to overcome some of his deficits..i.e: Write shit down dumbass!

So with Valentine's Day coming up I want to take a minute to acknowledge what my wife does for me. I couldn't do it without her! If you have seen strength in me over the last two years with how I am handling my life with Brain Cancer, I assure you it is really her keeping me standing.

Kim- You are my everything and I don't know what I would do without you. Thank you for everything that you do every day. It is all appreciated more than you will ever know. Thank You and I Love You!

To all of you....don't take anything for granted! Live for the Moment!

Peace Out!

Another Year Older - YAHOO!!!

2010-01-18T06:32:00.000-08:00

One year ago I was posting how excited I was to turn 40 years old. Well, one year later, another Brain Tumor removed, several weeks of rehab to recover from a minor stroke, 2 years post original diagnosis, and here I am - 41 and loving every minute of it!

Typically all of the survival stats for people with Glioblastoma's are pretty dismal, except for this one that I found not too long ago...for patients with GBM's who suvive 2 years post original diagnosis and treatment, the 5 year survival statistics go through the roof! How's that for a birthday present?

So, today is going to be low key. Going to spend the day doing some work and hopefully get to the gym. We already celebrated my Bday as Chef Kim treated me to a great Steak dinner this weekend for my birthday and I spent Saturday evening with some great friends and donated money to each of their Poker Funds.

Thank you all for the continued prayers and thoughts.

Peace Out!

New Year, New Hopes

2009-12-31T14:34:00.000-08:00

2010 is upon us. My thoughts today are of hope and joy AND the future. 2 days ago, I celebrated 2years of survival post original diagnosis and surgery of Glioblastoma Multiforme. I have survived 2 surgeries and have begun treatment post 2nd surgery. Treatment is going well. We will get an idea how successful it is in Late January at my next MRI.

So what is in the picture for me in 2010? As Jimmy Buffett put it best in 2008, it's "THE YEAR OF STILL HERE!" I am feeling great and I am anxious to get back to work! I am sick and tired of thinking about Cancer! I am looking forward to a year free of hospital stays!

2009 What a year! The year began with a bang in business, with Jeff and I commuting back and forth to Minneapolis for a big project. From there, we decided to add another consulting practice to our company. It got to be a little challenging as we ended the year, from my tumor recurrence, surgery and recovery, to my brother's Prostate Cancer surgery and reovery.

It was a crazy end to the year, but oh do I have alot to be thankful for.

1. I am still here and feeling great! The fight continues.
2. My brother Kevin is doing fantastic and all the tests have been clear!God Bless!
3. Business is looking up significantly after a slow end of 2009.

As I look into 2010 I am excited for what tomorrow brings. No matter what comes, I know that with the support of my amazing family and friends I will get through it, but most importantly I will continue to live life!

I wish you all a very Happy and Prosperous 2010. Make it a great year!

Peace & Love

Steve

PEACE OUT for 2009!

Released from Rehab

2009-12-23T06:32:00.000-08:00

Its beginning to feel a lot like Christmas! Yesterday I was completely discharged from Outpatient rehab. I was slated to have to do 8 weeks, but did so well, (and I whined a lot) that they officially discharged me from therapy yesterday. I had been going 2 times per week to Physical Therapy, Occupational Therapy, and Speech Therapy.

I need to thank my team at Van Matre Rehab hospital in Rockford. They were honestly fantastic. From my Core team during my two weeks of inpatient therapy; Fran who helped me get out of bed and relearn balance in Occupational Therapy to Donna who kept me laughing in Physical Therapy to Emily who helped me think straight again. Thank you. Without them, I would still be the blubbering mess I was after surgery. I also want to thank my outpatient team for challenging me and helping me reach the recovery goals! Thanks go out to Marla, whose weekly homework kept my brain firing neurons, Becky in PT for making PT fun, to everyone else I worked with Bev, Aaron, etc. You are all fantastic!

Now I am able to focus on the joy of the Christmas season. I am excited to spend tomorrow and Friday with family!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all of you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of your support and prayers over the last 2 years.

YEP THAT'S RIGHT FOLKS. Sunday, I reach my own mini holiday miracle 2 years post diagnosis of Glioblastoma Multiforme! Still alive and kicking!! I must have been a good boy this year! Santa gave me everything I wanted...My health and a wife, Kim, who has been there through everything, done everything for me and been more supportive than I deserve. It is truly a Merry and Blessed Christmas!

Peace to you and your families this holiday season!

Treatment SUCCESS!

2009-12-03T14:14:00.000-08:00

Ok, so Wednesday we headed back up to the Great White North aka UW Madison. Got blood checked as usual and met with Dr. Robins. The new treatment is Avastin. It is not a "Chemo" Cancer fighting but a Cancer fighting drug that goes after the tumors ability to grow blood vessels. Without blood vessels to feed the Cancer, it Dies. Avastin has been around for awhile and has been proven to extend GBM patients life longer than Avastin with a Chemo agent together. Kim and I are happy with the choice of treatment. The first treatment was an infusion via IV over 90 minutes. It is now Sunday and I have had absolutely NO bad side effects! YAH! My schedule is set. I have to go up to Madison ever other Wednesday for an infusion, but in the future the infusion will only take 60 minutes or less. In addition, I will have MRIs every 8 weeks.

Now, for the good stuff. Kim and I are officially on our annual vacation with our good friends. Kim and I and the Schindlers and Drectrahs landed in SAN JUAN yesterday bound for Royal Carribbean "Adventure of the Seas" for 7 days of relaxation and LAUGHTER! Left Chicago 23 degrees and landed to 90 degrees. Life is Good!

PEACE

I'm Baaaaack!

2009-11-27T17:28:00.000-08:00

I hope everyone had a fantastic Thanksgiving day and ate entirely too much like I did. I also hope that you were able to share thanks for all of the good things in our lives. As you saw with my last post, I had even more than normal to be thankful for this year. The unbelievable emergency response team from UW who literally saved my life on Wednesday was obviously on the top of my list. :) Those nurses and doctors were amazing and they definitely showed up in force. How do you thank people who literally saved your life? Thanks doesn't really seem to be enough! But THANK YOU! :) Now it may seem like I am lingering on this issue/event but it has had a profound impact on me. I have had 2 Crainiotomies and have not been that scared nor that close to death in my life. To say it scared the s....t out of me would be an understatement of the century. It has reignited more than ever the fire in me to BEAT THIS DAMN DISEASE!

So, I am eating like a horse and gaining back the weight that I lost in the hospital. I feel fantastic and am recovering from the post surgery impairments quickly!

We have a new plan as Kim wrote in the last post. We go up on Wednesday to see Dr. Ian. The plan is to begin a different course of treatment, Avastin. I will learn more about it on Wednesday, but it is an established treatment for GBM Recurrences. To say that I am not scared of receiving a new drug after my last reaction would be a lie, but with the help of my AWESOME WIFE, I have decided to "MAN UP" and go get this damn disease.I hope you all have a fabulous rest of this holiday weekend. As always, I welcome your thoughts and embrace your prayers as I KNOW they are working.

Peace Out!

Steve

Treatment begins....kinda

2009-11-24T19:55:00.001-08:00

How did treatment go you ask, oh if only you knew? Its Kim writing on Steve's behalf, he is okay just tired.
So we got up early this morning and headed up North, thankfully the car knows the way so she just heads the right direction. Things started out smoothly, had a quick quality of life questionnaire, did some final prep tests etc. I think Steve is tired of the ECG process and the stick on things.
The plan was to get the CP322, 100 mL over one hour via IV infusion. Sounds easy enough. Start time was 11:01...End time was 11:03. Not quite an hour. Just after starting the infusion Steve coughed a bit and said he wasn't feeling so good, the fabulous nurse, Tamara, and I just thought he was going to hurl no big deal. She shut off the IV pretty close to immediately, thank God. Steve got quite red and warm, one thing led to another and his blood pressure dropped. The worst set of numbers I heard was 54/31, it was hard to keep up as they called a "medical response team" and there were pretty close to 2 dozen really good medical people tending to Steve, and in true Steve fashion, in the midst of all of it, he looks up and asks "do you think we could get a few more people in here?"

After a couple giant bags of saline were speedily put in via IV and a total of 4 (2 were put in for the treatment, 2 additional ones were put in in case of need) IV ports put in him, things improved. Original plan was he was going to stay in the hospital overnight as they wanted to monitor him. They ran another ECG to see if it showed anything and everyone went off to discuss labs, tests, the new plan etc.

Well, a chest x-ray and CT scan came back normal (some good news), and Ian found out that this particular medication has had this reaction in other trial members. It was decided that Steve didn't need to stay overnight in the hospital so he came back to the hotel w/ me. Yeah.

So what's next? We will not be trying this medication again, not worth the risk. We are going to go with a medication Steve had read about a while back, Avastin. This will start on Wednesday next week. We are hopeful things will go well. This is a drug that has been used previously so it has a track record and they kind of know what to expect from it.

At this point, we don't know really how to feel. It is crazy scary to start this next treatment as it is similar in nature to the one we started/tried to start today. But it is crazy scary to put off treatment. But, today’s team of medical professionals reacted beautifully to the crisis and that makes me feel better. At least if something goes funky I know they know what to do.

All in all, believe it or not, things aren't that bad. We definitely have reason to be thankful this Thanksgiving!! We are super grateful to the doctors and nurses in Madison and those we have in Rockford. As well, neither of us knows how we would get through all of this without the love and support of all of you. Thank you so very much for all of the good thoughts and prayers you have sent this way, they really did their thing today.

This Thanksgiving, know that we give double thanks for all of you and wish you all time to enjoy your families and relax!!

treatment planned

2009-11-11T19:20:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I apologize for taking so long to post, but recovery from surgery has been a little more difficult than planned. After leaving the hospital, I spent two weeks at Van Matre Rehabilitation Hospital for Physical and Occupational Therapy. They kept me hopping with 3 hours of therapy per day. It was tough, but I made it through and was released last Friday to come home! Yeah.

So yesterday we went up to visit dem smart doctors in Madison. After another MRI, by the way, I only need one more to fill up my punch card :,) had a nice lunch with Kim and then we met with Dr. Robbins, the Neuro-oncologist. Had a great talk with him and decided on a plan of attack for treatment.
Because of the type and aggressiveness of the tumor (Glioblastoma Multiforme), we chose an aggressive course of treatment. What we chose was to join another clinical trial for "Veg F Inhibitors" - a type of Chemotherapy . I will be getting IV Infusion treatment once a week in Madison. The treatment will take 4-6 hours for the first "cycle" each "cycle" is four weeks. This will continue for as long as it is working, up to 12 months and they will monitor it constantly. We are hoping to start this within the next two weeks.

Although this is not our ideal choice, it fits with our motto "It is what it is' and that we will continue to fight this disease with everything I have! So even though I am scared of the new treatment, I truly believe in my doctors and KNOW we have made the best decision possible.
On a side, yet fun note, being in the clinical trial will save my insurance company more than a Million $. Do you think I will get a thank you card from them? Me either. I will update the blog more often once the treatments start.

Thank you fo your thoughts and prayers and as always...

PEACE OUT!!

Boyz from Texas!!!

2009-11-03T19:29:00.000-08:00

What a great surprise!!! Steve got a visit from the Texas boyz tonight, they have a meeting coming up in Chicago and made the drive from O'Hare to the rehab joint to visit. What a great treat!! I finally got to meet the two guys that I have heard so much about but best of all, their arrival brought about one of the famous Steve smiles. I'm sure you have seen one or two of them.
Other than Steve apparently spending the majority of the day trying to negotiate his release things have been going well. He has been working on Sudoku puzzles the past couple days. I have been somewhat hooked on them for the past several months and Steve tried a couple prior to the surgery, it is a really good brain workout. He brought a couple puzzle books with him and he and the speech therapist have been doing them. I blame my friend Jo for getting me hooked on them but if it helps Steve with his "executive function" that's great. He is still a bit focused on that. I do believe it is getting better each day.
We didn't see Dr. Crute on Monday, apparently she is in Honduras. But we did get to see the next best thing, her nurse practitioner, Michelle. We love her too so it was all good. She was pleased with Steve's progress so far. If the neurosurgery people are pleased, we are pleased.
We touched base with the crew in Madison and will be going there Tuesday next week for an MRI and then to see Ian. Keep you posted on the outcome of that. They aren't sure what the next step will be in terms of treatment but will have a better idea once they see Steve.
Steve's doc at rehab said maybe home on Friday, no promises. They have the weekly meeting tomorrow at which time they will discuss his progress and potential discharge date, will know more about that tomorrow.
Following discharge, there will be outpatient therapy, OT/PT and speech. Plus whatever they decide in Madison.
I think that is about everything. It is only Tuesday but a lot has happened this week already. It is somewhat of a whirlwind. Hoping once Steve is home it gets a bit more "normal" guess we wait and see.
As always, thanks for your continued thoughts, prayers and support.
A special heartfelt thanks to Scott and Derrick, your visit meant a lot!! It was also nice to put faces to the names. :)

Peace and Love,

Kim & Steve

Steve's Day Out X2!!

2009-11-01T18:51:00.000-08:00

Hello, hope everyone enjoyed Halloween!
Steve had a great Halloween weekend, as did I and the dogs. Both Saturday and Sunday Steve was able to come home!!!
Day passes only he had to go back each night but we made the most of it. Saturday was a trip to the local coffee shop for his favorite sandwich and to touch base with our friends Rocco and Jan, then home for some time with the boys and a nap. Ordered in dinner and on the way back to the hospital went to the local ice cream shop to see Steve's "ice cream girlfriend" for the infamous medium vanilla with twinkle cone.
Sunday was a regular old Sunday for us...breakfast at the cafe, nap and football. Did I mentioned the bears won!! Steve got to log on to his computer at his desk in his office and nap on his "resting couch", all in all a great weekend!
Things are going well in regards to the rehab. Balance is getting better and he is walking pretty well, the left foot gives him some trouble once he starts getting tired but other than that he is doing well. Still focusing on improving the "executive function" they spoke of after one eval but that is coming back too.
His staples came out Friday night, a bit of a surprise to both of us, we thought that was happening on Monday but the order came through and one of the nurses took them out Friday night. I think they wanted them out before he went out on a pass.
Steve is having some pain in his jaw on the left side, he continues to stick with the story that one of the nurses came in at night and popped him in the jaw. I told him if he wouldn't mouth off and if he would just do what they say that wouldn't have happened. It is better than it was just two days ago so, that is a good thing.
We go to Dr. Crute tomorrow morning for a follow up appointment, don't know what she will have to say but we are both eager to talk to her. Also going to contact Madison to see what the next step is with them. Always something.
Overall, things are going pretty well, yeah, I really said that. Given that Steve has been in the hospital (regular or rehab) for over 2 weeks, and has at least a few more days to go, things are going pretty well.
Each day Steve gets stronger and is able to do a little more. We have fantastic friends that call, email, drop in etc. and we have Jeff. Seriously everyone needs a Jeff. I really recommend one. :) Sometime in my life I will find a way to thank him for all that he has done and continues to do during this whole thing. Sometime. While being the rock that keeps Steve in tune with the business and keeps the business rolling, he also keeps me "sane" or as sane as I can be. No small feat there. While doing all this he manages to coach a local football team which just so happened to win their first ever playoff game Saturday!! Way to go Coach!!
Well, I think you are caught up on the happenings of the weekend, overall it was great. I anticipate Steve coming home fairly soon. If we get any funky info from Dr. Crute, I'll let you know. I'll also keep you posted on Steve's homecoming date.
Thanks again for all the love, support, prayers and warm thoughts you have sent our way, they are appreciated and they are working.
Peace and Love,

Kim & Steve

Steve's Status

2009-10-24T19:22:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the delay on updating, it has been a hectic week.
Steve is doing okay and has transferred to a rehab facility to work on regaining some strength and motor skills. When he heard it may be for two weeks, that didn't sit so well with him, he wants to be back to work, the gym etc. He has gotten his head around it and is waiting to get things started.
The rehab plan is pretty much a full time job. Steve will be having occupational therapy, physical therapy and speech therapy. Both OT & PT will be twice a day, once in the morning and once in the afternoon. Speech is once daily.
This has been quite a bit different from the recovery from the first surgery. We have been told this is much more typical. As we heard following the first surgery, Steve's recovery and handling of the major surgery was somewhat "freakish", actually they just said it was not the typical response. What we are seeing now is much more typical. Typical or not, it doesn't make it any easier. Since Steve and I both thought his recovery would be like the other one, we are coming to terms with the reality of this time.
He is still focused on regaining his strength and getting back to his routine day-to-day business. He is doing better each day and is super motivated.
Monday is day one of therapy, I'll blog either Monday or Tuesday to let you know how it is going.
Your thoughts, prayers and support mean a great deal to both of us. Keep them coming and know that we appreciate it.

Peace,

Kim

Post Op update

2009-10-15T20:55:00.000-07:00

You'll have to excuse the lack of Steve's witty comments and quips, you've got me "filling in" while he is recouping. But, I wanted to update everyone so you knew what was happening on this end.
First, I just read Steve's blog post from this morning, can I just say he is remarkable and quite honestly he makes me a better person. That being said let me catch you up.
Dr. Crute is as we thought a remarkable surgeon but most of all remarkable person. Again she took the time to explain things prior to the surgery as well as after. It truly helps a lot to have someone explain what they are doing so you can understand, I am immensely grateful to her for her honesty and don't know how we would have made it this far without her.
The surgery went well, the enhancing "thing" had grown from the time of the scan, it ended up being 1.7 cm but Dr. Crute got it as well as some other "residual" matter. She removed the aneurysm clips from the previous surgery and things went well.
I left the hospital a little before 10:00 p.m. and Steve was resting. He has been struggling a bit with coming out of the anesthesia, Dr. Crute did a CT scan it came back ok, she is planning an MRI in the morning.
I am hopeful that tomorrow morning he will be more alert and less groggy. He did talk with me a bit before I left so that was nice.
Those of you who know Steve know, he is a fighter and doesn't stay down long. With the tremendous amount of love and support he has coming from all of you, he'll be back to blogging himself in no time.

So...keep the good thoughts and prayers coming, they are appreciated more than words can say. I'll do my best to keep the blog updated w/ progress. Thanks again for all of the love and support through this challenging time, it has helped us weather the storm thus far.

Peace and Much Love,

Kim & Steve

Surgery Redux

2009-10-15T02:26:00.000-07:00

Okay, I did pretty damn good yesterday!

Kept my mind off of the surgery and even made it to the gym. Even got a couple hours sleep last night.

So to keep with this Blog's theme, I thought I would share the mindset that I am in now 4:30am...just a couple hours before my surgery.

Feeling overwhelmed in a really good way by all of the thoughts and prayers sent my way this week. Thank you all! It has really helped keep my head right.

I am not fearing this surgery...I know in my heart its the right thing.

The most prevalent thought running through my head is that I can't wait to wake up from Surgery later this morning and see Kim my beautiful wife smiling back at me! Then I know all my prayers have been answered - in more ways than one.

Peace Out

A slight change in plans

2009-10-05T18:57:00.000-07:00

Well, my latest plan was to get a new MRI on 10/20 and evaluate the 'peculiar' spot at that time. Well, after a visit with Dr. Crute, my Neurosurgeon today, we have decided to change the plans.

Next Thursday, I will be going in for Stereotactic Neurosurgery or in the words of my rockstar neurosurgeon...."A Chip Shot" for her. Two years ago it was the size of a tennis ball, this time the tumor is only slightly larger than a pea. It is in the resection cavity, aka, the hole in the temporal side of my head that the first tumor was in. So to stick with the golfisms...this round of golf will be pretty much mini putting. However, it definitely needs to be MULLIGAN Free. :)

Now this surgery should be pretty simple...I mean really, all she needs to do is cut where my other incision was and use a simple little CRAFTSMAN PHILLIPS HEAD SCREWDRIVER to unscrew the plate from last time and use a common spoon to dig the tumor out...NO PROBLEM! A CHIP SHOT!

Now thankfully, Dr. Crute is the Tiger Woods of Neurosurgical golf so this should not be a problem. However, if she had the golf skills of my business partner Jeff "SHANKAPOTTOMUS" Carpenter...we would have issues.

As you can tell, I have a pretty good attitude about this. I believe strongly that this is the right decision. Removing the tumor is ALWAYS the best case option when Glioblastoma Multiforme Tumors are involved. These thing are nasty as hell and can quadruple in size in weeks not months. I have a great team of doctors and an even better support team.

I will only be in the hospital for a couple days, and be recovering for about 2 weeks before I am back to work and 6 weeks until I am back to my new normal. The benefit this time is that I have the opportunity to manage my schedule which makes me feel better from a business standpoint.

All is good! If this is all we have to do every couple years, then so be it! I feel great and "Damn It Feels Good to be me!" (If you don't know the reference...check this link out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFLIxnbmO5E ) Quickly becoming my new theme song.

I will keep you all informed! Thank you for your Prayers!

PEACE OUT!

It looks a little Peculiar...

2009-09-09T04:50:00.000-07:00

Well, when two of Dem Smart Docs look at your MRI and tell you that it looks a little peculiar, it may sound a little alarming, but when they let you go home and tell you that we will look at it in 6 weeks, it feels a little more like tooth decay than tumor recurrence. :)

So they found a little spot in my MRI yesterday. According to Dr. Robbins and Dr. Mehta, it looks a little peculiar. Peculiar because it doesn't seem to act or look like tumor recurrence, but they don't know what it is. It could be Necrotic "dead" tissue, or what the hell...maybe a fly flew through the MRI field when they took the picture.

So, I go back in six weeks for another MRI Check.

So, here is the deal....I am not worried....you shouldn't worry! I feel great and am probably in better shape than I have been in years! We have been going at this all along as a chronic disease that we treat as needed. We have no idea what this is, but worst case scenario, we treat it.

This little speck on an MRI can't be nearly as difficult to fight as that tennis ball they took out a couple years ago! :)

So thank you as always for your prayers and thoughts, life is good and I am not going anywhere....except for a Sales Call later today! :)

Peace Out!

On a Day Like Today

2009-08-28T07:48:00.000-07:00

Been a hard couple of weeks with the passing of Robert Novak and most recently Ted Kennedy. Both were diagnosed with brain tumors last spring, while I was undergoing treatment.

Hearing of their passing flipped that funny little switch again...you know the one...the "oh yeah I have brain cancer" switch. :)

Instead of wallowing this time, I did a bit of reflecting on all the things great in my life, the things that make it all worthwhile...family, friends, children playing, and Nature. (most specifically the Caribbean) :)

I put together a video of some of those things that make me smile...Not complete by any means...but it helped me flip that damn switch off again! I put it up on youtube.

I hope you enjoy! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7zBBc_7kCTE

Next MRI September 8th - I will update with results!

Peace Out!

"One More Day"

2009-07-01T05:10:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since I posted, so quick health update -

Now that I am post-treatment, I only have to go up to Madison once every three months for MRI & Check-up. I had another MRI in early June and they continue to be clean! I am feeling great and am probably in the best shape that I have been in 20 years. Kim is good, business is good...Life is groovy.

This morning, I woke up early and while enjoying my coffee, I started thinking....

2 days ago (6/29/09) marked 18 months post surgery for me. Doesn't seem like a big anniversary or anything, but deep down it has always been something that I thought about.

Let me explain...A couple days after my surgery, the doctor from the floor and I had a conversation about my Tumor...not one of my main doctors, just one covering the floor at the hospital. I can't remember his name, but I will never forget what he said when I asked "How long do I have - really"?

His reply, "6-18 months at most, I recommend that you get your stuff in order" - I guess I kind of deserved that for asking such a dumb question don't ya think? :)

However, 18 months and 2 days is here and my stuff is still a mess. :)

18 months and 2 days later and I still wake up every morning and smile cause I have "one more day".

I hope you all have a beautiful & blessed day today...I know I will.

Brain Tumor Walk 2009

2009-04-25T19:07:00.000-07:00

Today, I joined 5000 others in the 4th annual American Brain Tumor Association 5K Run/Walk for brain tumor research. I did it as a SURVIVOR! It was an amazing day, with emotions that ran the spectrum. I don't even know where to start to explain the emotion.

So instead of trying to put the emotions into words, I built a little video montage. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tarW-emqRcM

ABTA Walk as a SURVIVOR!!!

2009-03-27T06:54:00.000-07:00

As you all know, 2008 was a trying year for me both mentally and physically. With your amazing support, I have made a remarkable recovery from a Glioblastoma IV Cancerous Brain Tumor surgery and treatment.

On March 7th, I celebrated the end of my Chemo Journey and my OFFICIAL post treatment Cancer Survivor status. On April 25th, I will participate in the 4th Annual Path to Progress 5K Run/Walk to raise money for the American Brain Tumor Association's research and patient/family education and support programs.

As you can imagine, this event and organization is very near and dear to my heart. To even be here today is amazing, but to think that I will walk with thousands of others as a Survivor...brings tears to my eyes.

I realize that the economic situation is not ideal to ask for donations, and I will understand if you are unable to give. I have set my fundraising goal at $5,000 and ask you to support my efforts with a donation of whatever amount you are comfortable with. You can do this easily by clicking the link at the bottom of this message. Just select my name from the list of Fundraisers. There is a link to my personal page below. Just click on the link or copy it into your browser.

I appreciate any donation you give!

Thank you.

PEACE OUT!

Steve

Founded in Chicago in 1973, ABTA was the first national, nonprofit organization dedicated solely to brain tumors. Today, ABTA is a leader in research, education and support. In 2008, ABTA awarded more than $2.6 million to brain tumor researchers searching for better treatments, and ultimately, a cure, and more than 1.3 million services and resources to brain tumor patients and their families.

To learn more about ABTA, please visit www.abta.org.

Click here to visit my personal page.If the text above does not appear as a clickable link, you can visit the web address:http://hope.abta.org/site/TR/ABTAEvent/PathtoProgress?px=1783251&pg=personal&fr_id=1290&et=63mbVB5z5C1J8W-ehpjR8g..&s_tafId=6291

Latest MRI...40...and the future.

2009-01-25T18:16:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year everyone!

Been a crazy month already...GOOD, but crazy!

1. My latest MRI was on the 6th of this month. No change. Two words that I have come to love. Had a chance to talk with Dr. Robbins about the future. Feb 3rd, I go to Madison to pick up my LAST round of Temodar (Chemo)!! 12 months of treatment complete! After that round, I will only have to go up to Madison every 2 months for MRIs...no change continues to be what we want to see!

Doc wanted to assure me not to get worried about regrowth when I stop treatment. He says I am doing remarkably and I have received Temodar twice as long as it was originally prescribed. So I am going to take Dem Smart Docs advise and focus on the positive....I will be officially OUT OF TREATMENT and A CANCER SURVIVOR. I can deal with that!

2. I turned 40 last week! I can not tell you how good it felt to turn 40! I feel younger and better than I have for years! I am looking forward to turning 70!!!

To celebrate the occasion, my wife created a fabulous day for me! She started the day by taking me for a suprise Massage at a local spa, followed by a nice lunch. To top the day off, she set up dinner with Jeff and Mendy. She told me about the dinner, but omitted that she had set up a limo to come and pick us up and take us into Wildfire in Schaumburg, one of my favorite restaurants!! We had a great night, a great meal, great company, and a styling ride to and from!

Just to prove to me that my body was 40 and I was officially an OLD Man, I fell asleep on the drive home!! :) Would have slept all the way, but my Snoring was bothering our companions. :) I would use my standard...."it sucks to get old", but IT REALLY DOESN'T!!!

3. On the business front, things are getting crazy as well! Our business is helping companies do more with less, which tends to fit well in this economy. To show for it, Jeff and I are "On the Road Again" doing training for a big client of ours is keeping us gone all week during the last two weeks of January and most of February and March! Business is staying steady, but, I can honestly say that I am excited about the change that has come to our Country. I will leave politics out of this blog, but our economy can use all the help it can get right now.

Talk about life getting back to normal...I am in better shape physically, and in a better place mentally than I have been in a really long time! When I lose sleep now a days, it is over business issues, and not "the Cancer Switch", and most of you know by now that me losing sleep over business issues is who I am and my minds way of telling me that life is truly back to normal.

To that end, I will keep this blog open and will post when the wave strikes me, but it will only be occassionally. The purpose of this blog was to chronical the journey that was my Brain Tumor surgery and treatment process. Now that I am entering the "Post Treatment" phase, I have chosen to focus on living every minute. I have found a new outlet in Facebook, and anyone that wants to stay in touch is free to look me up!

Thank you to everyone who has followed this blog and me during the past year. I truly believe that it is in your thoughts and prayers that I found much of the strength that helped me make it through the last year. Thank you.

Just to stay true to this blog and darling Miss Ava...

PEACE OUT!!

1 Year and Counting

2008-12-29T06:31:00.000-08:00

12/29/2008

1 year and counting! Still Cancer Free, Alive and loving it!

God Bless and thank you all for your prayers!

I made it this far, I am not gonna stop now!

Talbott's New Year's RESOLUTIONS
1. KEEP ON KEEPING ON!
2. Never Forget Resolution #1 (for you NH Alums)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! 2009 is gonna ROCK!

Celebrate Life! I am. :)

Peace Out!

Musings and Hopes

2008-12-22T20:10:00.000-08:00

12/21/08

Coming home from vacation, thinking too much. 7 days of sun, sea, and laughter with good friends. Christmas is coming, my health is good, and even the business is doing well.

So, what the hell? Why am I sitting here on this plane with tears flowing? Idle time is not my friend. Idle time tends to flip "the switch". Thinking about how that tumor changed my life and that of my families forever.

I didn't ask for this tumor, yet I can not complain. I look at who I have become in the last year in part due to this disease.

I am a stronger person, yet not afraid to show emotion. My fear is usually slapped away by a neverending feeling of hope that "Keeps me Keeping On"

My relationships with family and friends have strengthened. I don't take anything for granted.

So again, why am I crying? I am approaching a milestone in my life - 40 and more importantly, Cancer free for 12 months. Whatever the future brings, no one can take that away. 12/29/2007 - The day Dr. Denise Crute saved my life. The day I stopped taking life for granted and seeing it as the gift it is.

So, why the tears? This year, I have learned what the power of prayer means. I have learned that no matter what this Economy brings to never lose hope and pick ourselves up by our bootstraps and make it Happen! - Thanks to Jeff for your help on that one!

I really think the tears are those of pure joy. Tis the season, and every once in a while, it is therapeutic to reflect. Reflection shows you the past, and helps to illuminate the path forward.

So during this Christmas Season, take some time to reflect on the good & the challenges of this year. Pay attention to how those events have shaped your today. All politics aside - SHARE HOPE. Hope in each other, hope in the future, and live for today!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you and your families!

Peace

Madison Trip - Snow Day Redux

2008-12-11T06:04:00.001-08:00

Went up to Madison for my monthly appt with Dr Ian to get my chemo drugs for the month. My Mom was scheduled to drive, but when we woke up to the Rain/Ice/Snow, we decided not to put her through that and opted for Kim to take a day off and drive.

As soon as we crossed the WI border, the snow pounced and we realized that we were not going to be home that night! Here we go again. So I dialed up the hotel at the UW Clinic and away we went. The 1.5 hr drive only took 3 hours. :)

We went to our appointments, of which went very well, my blood counts are perfect as Dr. Ian put it. Diana and I had to do the NeuroCognition Tests for the Clinical Trial. Spatial Recognition tests and memory tests. I ROCKED THEM! I have to take these test every 4 months during the clinical trial. They have become somewhat of a game, and Diana and I laugh alot during them...(Diana - I told you I would still remember at least 10 of them on Thursday - Bean, Corn, Potato, Lettuce - Tennis, Basketball, Golf, - and Engineer, Professor, Teacher, and Dentist!!!!! I GOT 11. ;) - You don't think I am not competitive do you? :)

Rock and Roll ...... this round of Chemo, and 2 more and I am done with CHEMO!!!! MRI is next month!

So after some tense time at the hotel trying to find someone to take care of our Dogs while we were trapped in Madison with parts of 90 closed, we were saved by Mendy!!! Thank you again for taking care of our dogs while we were stuck! She truly saved the day!

So Kim and I checked into the hotel, took advantage of the time and.... NAPPED! Woo Hoo!

The highlight of the day was when we walked down a block for dinner and had the best greasy bar burger in Madison! Go BLUE MOON!

18 Days until I am officially a Cancer Survivor!! 1 Year Post Surgery 12/29/2008. Thanks to your prayers and thoughts, I made it!!! Hope Lives!!

Peace Out!

Gratitudes

2008-11-26T06:06:00.000-08:00

"Gratitude is an attitude where the mind and the heart unite in sincere appreciation. Throughout life, we experience great victories along with serious challenges. It is as though the good and the bad are in a constant battle to capture our thinking. In moments of clarity we remember… In all things be grateful… for as long as we live, we learn. That is what makes us better!" -Doyle Slayton

2008- My year of gratitudes

As you can imagine, I have alot to be thankful for. With Thanksgiving upon us, I feel compelled to share some of these thank you's to some people that have had an unbelievable impact on my life this year. Bare with me, but I need to list many of you out by name!

Dr. Zaheer- For having the foresight to recognize my symptoms as more than just an "inner ear infection" and send me to the hospital.

Dr. Crute- For your amazing skills as a surgeon and unending compassion that has proven to be one of the top reasons that I am still here.

Michelle- For the compassion that you brought into my room every day while I was in the hospital and taught me what Hope is all about.

Dr. Mehta & Dr. Robbins - Your team approach proves why you are ranked with the best in the world. You designed my Radiation and Chemo treatments to drive the success that I am having today and I am eternally grateful.

Jeff- For being there to support not only our business, but my family. There are no words that can adequately express my gratitude.

Marky P - For pulling together the greatest support group I could have imagined, creating a night to remember, and most importantly, for being there. It means more than I can say.

Lyle & Swan - For countless trips to Madison, reuniting old friendships, road tunes, and laughter. When I needed it most, you were both there. Enough Said.

Kim- For being my rock. It is what it is and we will deal with it - Together! A simple statement, but it has carried us both through the worst of times.

And so many more! From my family, to the amazing Talbott support group, to the nursing staffs, techs, and others at all of the medical facilities that I have been to in the last year, to those of you that encourage me with your comments on this blog. You have all been a huge part of my recovery!

My life is full of things to be thankful for, and I am sure by this point, you are thankful that his post is almost complete. :)

I could not let this Thanksgiving go by without sharing with you a small sample of how full of richness my life is because of all of these gratitudes. I am a better person because of what I have gone through and because of the people that have enriched my life in so many ways. For that, I am grateful! In these tough economic times, it is easy to forget all the things that we have to be thankful for, but this year has taught me to cherish every moment and believe in HOPE.

GOT HOPE? Share it with those you love!

Happy Thanksgiving to all, I wish you and your families a truly happy holiday.

Perspective is everything

2008-11-22T19:19:00.000-08:00

David Bailey is a 30 something brain tumor survivor of over 12 years, and a musical artist. I have blogged about him before, his inspiration and music has been a big part of helping me keep my attitude positive. Here are two samples of David's work...His first song, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhtHtURCIFs and a poem he recorded recently http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVW2YdbKlmE&feature=related

This week David had a serious scare. He had another 8 centimeter mass removed on Thursday. He and his mother notified his fans via email. The first one announced that he had the tumor, the second announced the surgery date, and the third one gave us the results. He came out of the surgery great and should be home by Monday.

It was a strange and sad feeling when I heard the news. I have gotten to know this man through his music, and continue to lean on his music when I am in need. Watching him go through this scare from afar after 12 years as a survivor was a little rattling to say the least.

Selfishly, I thought back to my ordeal last December, which has been bouncing around in my head, avoiding the "switch" all week. Will a tumor come back to me? Is this what my life is going to be like? Will I have to deal with this forever? If it comes back, will I be able to fight it again?

Today, he sent an email personally to his fans, and I want to share it with you... This is why he inspires, he is known as the "Hope Guy" for a reason!!

I wasn't ready for another scar
I guess none of us ever are
They seem to take too long to heal
And as they do there's too much to feel
Scars are ugly - but can be fine
They only speak of some of the time
And yet they do also suggest
The passing of another test
The worst kind of test to take
Is one that lets your spirit break

I did not expect the weeping
Bless my soul this scar's for keeping
And when you see it, know this, friend
Although it's large, it's not the end
Fall down seven times, get up eight
Even if you hesitate.

A friend told me that hope's still alive.
Enough to wipe tears from your eyes?
you better believe it.

david m. bailey11-22-08

So, if that shit ever comes back to me, will I be able to fight it...YOU ARE DAMN RIGHT I WILL. "Fall Down seven times, and get up eight, even if you hesitate!" Those words will stick with me. Thank You David.

I would love to say that I am positive every minute of every day, but that would be a lie. The fear comes in waves and hits me like a brick, but all it takes is something like reading David's poem above to snap me out of it.

It is people like him, and the thoughts and prayers of all of you that show me that Hope is still alive. With Thanksgiving approaching, it is not hard to imagine what I am thankful for. Today, I am thankful for David Bailey's continued life and inspiration! Thank you David and congratulations on a successful surgery. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

More on Thanksgiving thoughts to come this week...I have a hell of a lot to be thankful for!

Peace Out!

The Hearts of Angels

2008-11-16T19:44:00.000-08:00

I had to write tonight. I have been witness to an Angel at work...My niece Brianna.

I was wowed by her school program honoring veterans with my dad as one of the honorees earlier this week, but what she has done this weekend for a school project truly has me speechless.

Her project was to write a 5 paragraph "Story" about "a tomorrow". I have copied it below as it was written.

Here it is word for word:

Oh no! I just heard my Uncle Steve is in the hospital! This is so horrible!!!! How could this ever happen?! He has stage 4 brain cancer. His tomorrow is in danger.

When I heard the news, I started crying. I couldn't help it! He was so healthy. He is in the hospital right now. He already had his surgery. He has a scar shaped like a C. My brother and I always pray for him at night. We can't visit him now because I am sick. Soon we will visit him.

My Uncle Steve is still in the hospital. We keep trying to make him feel better with pictures, and drawing funny stuff, and coloring pictures. Alot of people visit him, like family and friends. We still haven't visited him yet. I can't wait to feel better so I can see him.

We finally saw my Uncle Steve today. He still has cancer. Almost every 2 months Uncle Steve has an MRI. He is still healthy and happy.

The lesson I learned from Uncle Steve's cancer is don't give up and keep trying. With a bit of support from your family, your tomorrow will be good and filled with love.

Wow! Brings tears to my eyes every time I read it.

Thank you Brianna. Thanks to you, my tomorrow will definitely be good and filled with love!!

It never ceases to amaze me...the power I get every day from the support of others - family and friends, and every once in a while...beautiful words from an angel.

--Brianna, if I have any pull with your teacher, you will get an "A" ! :)

Veteran's Day/MRI Day...

2008-11-11T19:16:00.000-08:00

Veteran's Day

Thank you to all of our men and women of the military, past and present. We appreciate what you have done for us. Thank you to my Dad for his service to the Navy, to our Country in WWII, and to our family. Today is Veteran's Day, a day to thank everyone that has served in the armed services, and for me, another chance to thank my Dad for his part in making me who I am. Thank You Dad!

MRI Day

Sing along with me.... "It's off to see the wizard...the wonderful wizard of the tube" (ie MRI)... We knew it was going to be a great day for my 5th Post Radiation MRI. Kim had the day off, we had to go to Madison, and the forecast was for SNOW/RAIN Mix...yippee yippee. :)

So we got up early and started our trek north...turns out...it was worth the hassle.

To sum up the MRI results, I will phrase it the way Dr. Ian did... ROCK SOLID! Ok so to work down my checklist of living... Get a clean bill of health from my 5th Post Radiation MRI, and begin my 9th (of 12) cycles of Chemo... CHECK!, CHECK! WOO HOO!

Short Post tonight, but I wanted to pass on the good news and say thanks!

Peace Out!

Oops I forgot...

2008-10-29T18:39:00.000-07:00

My apologies for not writing this entire month! I got caught up in that living thing again... I get so caught up in living that I sometimes forget that I have brain cancer. :) Oh isn't that just too bad! :)

Seriously, I have been feeling great! I bitch and moan about allergies, but my Mom and my Wife just write that off to me being a whiner...which could be a little true..."Big Damn Baby" I think is the term often used about me. :) And last time up to Madison, they even got Dr. Robbins in on the act...He asked my Mom if "I whined alot" and after my Mom stopped laughing, she informed him that I have a "low threshhold for pain"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Talbott Time Machine circa 25 yrs ago, aka the "Jello Brain" years

Now the story on this goes back to middle school and AYSO Soccer games. My parents were convinced that I was a Drama Queen and every time I would get hit, I would fall to the ground and writhe with pain...In reality, it is because it probably hurt. Now granted, my father is allergic to all pain meds and in addition to walking up hill barefoot both ways to school, only gets to bite on a silver bullet for pain...in otherwords...he has a very high threshold for pain. Both my Mom and Kim fight Migraines and can function with headaches, etc... Me....HELL NO...GIVE ME DRUGS AND KNOCK MY ASS OUT! Hence...I accept it...I have a low threshhold for pain. :) Now back to your regularly scheduled program.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok...back to current day. Things have been going great. I was just matched up by Jonny Imerman (Imerman Angels) with a young woman who at 36 was diagnosed with a GBM and her husband. They are just beginning the Chemo phase with Temodar and Jonny thought I would be a match to connect with. I am really looking forward to being able to share my experiences, my attitude, and the perspective that each of you have helped me to develop! She is just beginning the fight with this disease and I hope that I am able to help them both through this challenging time!

So, although I haven't written lately, and I keep getting myself all caught up in this business of living...realize that all of you collectively known as the "Talbott Support Group" have created something special in me that I fall back on often to guide me through dark times.

Thank You all again!

PEACE OUT!

Dr.s and Angels

2008-10-02T05:32:00.000-07:00

After every MRI, I am supposed to meet with my Neurosurgeon, Dr. Crute. These meetings as I have blogged before are always uplifting. I met with her on Monday and this time was no exception. First and foremost, she pointed out the Hippocampus and I was shocked that it wasn't a little guy in a furry costume (see last 2 entries to get the joke. :) )

Dr. Crute was fantastic as usual, she explained that she was late getting to our appt because she had to spend so much time looking at the MRIs, she is still just amazed that I am as stable as I am considering the tumor that I had. She looked and looked and couldn't find any changes...how cool is that! We talked about the future and that future keeps getting further and further out. Yeah! I like the sound of that.

As an added bonus, I was finally able to see Michelle, Dr. Crute's surgical nurse/PA who I haven't seen since I left the hospital. Now there is significance to that fact. I have not really blogged about Michelle before, but let me tell you she was a savior of mine. She was the one person who consistently checked on my several times a day at the hospital. She was the first person who told me NOT TO BELIEVE THE BULLSHIT that the house resident gave me about "getting my things in order" and I had 6-18 months. For that, I owe Michelle alot. She helped get my head around my diagnosis (no pun inteneded). So it was really cool to see her. I ran up and gave her a great big hug! I get emotional just thinking about it. Thanks Michelle!

That emotion was met with more emotion as I had the opportunity to connect directly with Jonny Imerman. Jonny is a mid 20's 6+ year survivor of testicular cancer and the founder of Imerman Angels, which is an organization that matches one on one cancer fighters with cancer survivors for mentoring and support. As I relived the story of my quest through cancer treatment, I got emotional as I told him about the "night to remember" event that you all through for me with Marky P at Cliffbreakers. I explained to him that I don't know how I would have every made it to the point I am at now without the love and support of my amazing wife Kim, my family, and my support group...YOU!

Jonny started this organization to help people who don't have that love and support. Jonny has added me to the list to help another Brain Tumor patient on a one on one basis. I can't wait to pass on the learning that I have had, the inspiration that I have received from Dr. Crute, and Michelle, and most of all the love and support that I have received from each and every one of you! It's now time to Pay it Forward.

PEACE OUT!

For those of you reading this that may have been touched personally by cancer in your lives, I encourage you to reach out to Imerman Angels, they can match you with someone that has survived your cancer and can help you do the same. www.imermanangels.com or call Rynell Cook at (312) 274-5529. There is no cost, just help.

If you want to help in another way, please consider donating, and donate in honor of your loved one who is fighting this horrible disease called cancer.

Getting Involved!!

2008-09-27T05:00:00.000-07:00

I have recently had the opportunity to connect with other brain tumor survivors through a couple different online services. One is through a LinkedIN group called Immerman Angels. The Imerman Angels are a group of people dedicated to the support of people with cancer. Here is a blurb straight from their website...(http://www.imermanangels.org/)

Imerman Angels connects a person fighting cancer today ("cancer fighter") with someone who has beaten the same type of cancer ("cancer survivor"). The relationship provides a fighter the opportunity to ask personal questions and receive encouragement from someone who is uniquely familiar with the situation. The relationship provides a survivor the opportunity to personally help a fighter as he or she battles the disease

I found these guys and joined their online group, while in the normal course of business using an online networking tool called LinkedIN, which in essence is the MYSpace or Facebook for business networking.

What a great organization and concept. As I have been going through this treatment & healing process, I have been blessed with an amazing support team. A group of people that keep me strong, keep me fighting, and keep me sane! What I have found is that not everyone has the amazing level of strength of a support group that I do.

I can't imagine facing the battle OF and FOR your life without support!

I am in the process of becoming one of Immerman's Angels. I want to be able to directly connect with people that are fighting the same Cancer that I am fighting. I want to be able to channel the power that each of you have given me to give to others.

As you can see, I am extremely excited about this opportunity. I have wanted to give back by working with other Cancer Fighters. I have finally found a way to do that in a one on one basis!

I will find out more about the organization and the process to get involved over the next week. I will let you know what I find. Wish me luck, as this could be the way to share the power that each of you gave me with others who are in need.

Thank you to all who have given me the strength to get to this point!

Check these guys out...its a pretty cool organization! http://www.imermanangels.org/

Peace Out!

PS. By the way, I know the first thing I will share with other CANCER Fighters...How to get around...the "Cool Way" SCOOTERS RULE!

Health Update!

2008-09-21T20:04:00.000-07:00

I apologize for not writing more often, but I have been caught up in NORMALITY...Not sure if that is a word, but what the heck!

So last Wednesday night, Kim and I had a remake of the "Snow Days" from Jan/Feb and went up to Madison and stayed at the hotel next to the "Brain Clinic". We of course got our standard UPGRADE and stayed in what Kim and I call...the Cloud Room! Great room with a comfy bed, and a nice LCD Flat Screen.

We did this, for a reason, and not because we like to vacation in Madison... :). The reason was my latest MRI. The MRI was at 7:15am, and I had to check in at 6:45am so we decided to go up early. We got to the hotel, checked in, and then hung out and watched TV...what an exciting get away...

The getaway did have a great ending, however, here it is straight from the MRI Report

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The current MRI is compared with the prior MRI July 24, 2008.

Findings:
Stable exam. Stable postoperative change or right middle cranial fossa. New mass or abnormal enhancement is not identified. Stable white matter changes in the right hemisphere. There is nonenhancing high signal which persists at the inferior aspect of the right frontal lobe, extending posteriorly along the surgical margin, to involve the HIPPOCAMPUS. These regions are also stable. Stable ventricular system.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok, now that you have all had your Medical Terminology lesson for today, I will give extra credit for anyone that can tell me what the hell a Hippocampus is, and what the hell it is doing in my head. :) Dem Smart Docs tell me it means that I am ROCKING AND ROLLING along this healing process!

Seriously, I am mid stream on cycle 7 of Temodar. I have 5 more cycles after this one, and I have 3 more months until I hit the 1 YEAR MARK! Life is not good, it is FANTASTIC!!

PS...the above means...I am doing great, and that Dr. Crute continues to be my hero, and the greatest Neurosurgeon on the planet! :)

I promise to get back in the swing and write more often, but as you can tell I am loving living!

PEACE OUT!

***********************************EDITOR's NOTES**************************************

WE HAVE A WINNER! I have already received my first correct response as to what a HIPPOCAMPUS IS...Thank You Val! See Below! (NOTE THE GUY IN THE TENT)

Not to be out done, Mr. Mark Patrick has found a picture of the University of Talbott Hippo-Campus...See Below.

Health and Friends

2008-08-22T05:39:00.000-07:00

This has been a big week. I will start with a health update. Met with Dr. Ian on Tuesday. This was just a check up and to get my Chemo pills for the month. He says that I am doing great! I am in my 6th cycle of chemo (Temodar) and have 6 more to go. We talked alot about how treatment will go forward. After 6 more cycles, I will be done with Chemo. I will continue to get scans every 2-3 months indefinitely. The goal again of this disease is to make it chronic so we just treat it forever. Dr. Ian described it in a great way. "The goal of my treatment is to make this disease chronic and treatable, like diabetes or heart disease. The only difference is that after 5 years of no reoccurence, Heart Disease, and Diabetes aren't considered cured...Brain Cancer is." He said that on his way out the door. When one of North America's Top Neuro Oncologists talks of hope and promise for my Brain Cancer prognosis....I tend to listen. :) So, I am Feeling Great, Loving Life, and growing healthier with every DAY!

I left Madison on Tuesday, only to pack up my Chemo Drugs and get on a plane on Wednesday for a working trip to Dallas, TX and the New Horizons International Conference.

Now, I have been involved with New Horizons internally, or as a partner for 9 or 10 years. Every year, this conference has been a summer ritual. Many of the people of New Horizons that I have met over the years have become my friends and mentors. They have helped me to grow as a leader and as a sales professional.

So when I arrived this year, I expected to see the same conference and atmosphere that I see every year. I underestimated the reach of my friend Marky P. Through his communication of my condition and journey, he has reached a huge contingent of my New Horizons friends.

The reception that I have received has been amazing! I run into people in the halls, and the outpouring of true good wishes and emotion has been tremendous. For those of you that are reading this that I have had an opportunity to see this week....THANK YOU. I can not tell you how good it feels to be here and to see good friends. It is things like this in life that makes me realize how rich my life has been and continues to be. You all give me strength!

NOW FOR ALL OF YOU AT NH.... SHOULDN'T YOU BE READING SOME RECORDS!! :)

Free to Ride

2008-08-04T20:11:00.000-07:00

As has been the case for months, my doctor has put restrictions on my ability to drive. This has been a severely limiting restriction. I have had to burden the people I work with, friends, and Kim to allow me to get to Business Appts, Dr. Appts, and just out of the house errands.

I understand the rationale from the Doctor's perspective. They are afraid that I will have a seizure while driving (although I have not had one to date) and cause an accident. The biggest reason that I honor the Dr's wishes is that I don't want to take the chance of hurting someone else.

It is what it is, is our mantra, so I continue to follow his wishes. Dem Smart Docs know what they are doing. I am LIVING proof. :)

With the summer rolling through, the only chance I have to let my hair blow in the wind is riding my lawn mower!

But then it hit me! The doc is ok with me riding the lawn mower, and riding the golf cart, so why not a Scooter? Hell, my lawn mower has a bigger motor.

Now we had this idea several months ago, but never proceeded down the path. We have finally done it. Kim and I have purchased 2 - 49.5cc scooters! They are perfect for a trip in town down to the coffee shop, the gym, and even the ice cream shoppe. I think I could ride my bike faster than the scooter goes, but what the hell, I am FREE to get out of the house and let the wind blow in my HAIR! Did I mention I was bald?

So as a tribute to my new freedom, I asked a couple of friends to take a ride with me. We got a picture of it and I thought I would share. I hope you enjoy.

Peace out!

ENUFF SAID. When I stop Laughing, I will write a little more about the scooter.

The Year of Still Here!

2008-07-27T06:35:00.000-07:00

"The Year of Still Here" is the slogan of the 2008 Jimmy Buffett tour. I don't think I could have written a better slogan based on my life circa 2008. :)

Kim and I were lucky enough to get tickets with a couple of our good friends to see the show last night. After almost 20 years of going to Jimmy Buffett shows, not much suprises me, but as soon as I saw the slogan when we got to the parking lot, I was FLOORED! Freaks and Fins on Parade, (of which Kim and I have been many times in past years) didn't phase me, but the irony of the slogan blew me away- The Year of Still Here, I can soooo relate. :)

It was a great show. You would think that after 38 years of touring every summer, that he might slow down, but if last night was any indication, he just gets better! After almost 3 hours of a show led by the king of summer himself, the 60 something Jimmy promised to be back for another summer! Kim and I are already making our plans!

The Year of Still Here! I think the Talbotts may have to adopt this slogan for our remaining 2008 Vacation Plans.

Talbott's on Tour 2008 - THE YEAR OF STILL HERE!

Doesn't quite have the ring that Jimmy puts to it, but it will definitely do!!

FINS TO THE LEFT!

An Inspiration passes, but his spirit is alive!

2008-07-25T16:02:00.000-07:00

Today, Randy Pausch, the Carnegie Mellon Professor who gave the famous "Last Lecture" passed away. His lecture was about living and dreaming. I have written about the impact on me in earlier blogs, but needless to say the news hit me pretty hard today.

His energy and love of life and dreaming has been a huge inspiration to me. I truly feel for his family - Wife and 3 young children, but I am confident that he lived EVERY last moment he had with them and will continue to be with them in spirit forever.

His passing saddens me today as I think about what his family is going through. That sadness has begun to pass, because I know that Randy Pausch would not stand for it! He would want us to keep looking forward, keep dreaming, and keep living and cherishing every moment as he did.

Although Randy Pausch has passed from this Earth, I know his inspiration will live within the millions of people that he touched with his amazing lecture and unbreakable spirit. I know it will with me!

Thank you for the inspiration Mr. Pausch.

The results are in

2008-07-24T18:08:00.000-07:00

Ok...my 3rd post radiation MRI Day has come and gone! The Results...Stable, no enhancement and no progression!

In other words, Results that I can LITERALLY LIVE with!!! Woo Hoo!

Our Clinical Trial coordinator made a point to say how good the resection was (the surgery to remove the tumor). Dr. Crute, once again proves that she is a ROCKSTAR!

It still amazes me what she accomplished. She not only removed the tumor, but had to untangle and rewire the blood flow. 11 Hours and 38 minutes of surgery.

Dr. Crute set the stage by removing as much of the GBM (Tumor) that was humanly possible, Dr. Mehta then took aim with the radiation beam and killed anything remaining, and Dr. Robbins is keeping me stable with Chemotherapy. I have to admit...I am one of the luckiest guys on the planet to have a crew of doctors who are so good! Dem Docs sure are smart!! :)

So, with all that in mind, its hard to express what I am feeling at this moment... MRI is clean, Cubs are in 1st Place and Jimmy Buffett is playing on Saturday. What more could I really ask for? World Peace? Not until we get that Republican out of office. :)

Ok, now that I have offended my parents, Republican Friends, and Sox Fan friends...I think I will call it a night.

Just wanted to drop a quick note tonight to tell you how well I am feeling and share the amazing results of our MRI today! 6 cycles down, 6 more to go. So, unlike the Sox, I am batting 1.000. :) (Sorry Marky...couldn't resist) ;)

Thank you all for your continued prayers, they continue to work!

Miss Ava says... GO CUBS!

Enjoying Time with Friends!

2008-07-21T07:03:00.000-07:00

Its funny how sometimes things in life can seem so DAUNTING! This Economy, Work, Bills, Money, Family, Health, etc...

But I tell you what...the cure is simple!! Spend a weekend with some friends at a beautiful lake home on a beautiful lake and Laugh your ass off for 2 straight days! It's amazing how much better you feel Monday Morning...Unless you are Bonnie and Kim who gave "Big Mable the Tube" the ride of its life. :) Then you might have a couple of sore muscles today. :)

If you can't guess by now, that is what we did this weekend. Our Hockey/Cruise Crew (4 Couples) got together at Craig and Sue's for a unbelievable weekend. Relaxing, Laughing and having a great time...I don't know if it counts as Driving, but I gave that Waverunner a hell of a ride! :)

Kim and I being typical workaholics haven't taken many breaks over the years...no annual vacations, just a trip here or there... every couple years. After the last six months, you would think Kim and I were making up for lost time! :) Key West, Sue & Craig's, Cruise already booked for later this year!! Woo Hoo. :) What the hell, life is short might as well get out and enjoy ever minute! Just for a little more practice, Kim's sister invited us up to her lake house in 2 weeks. Even get to break out my Fishing Gear!

We have a couple weekends open between now and the end of the season...we might do some yardwork, but don't hold your breath. :)

As Jimmy Buffett says... WHAT A GREAT WAY TO FORGET ABOUT LIFE FOR A WHILE!!!! Thanks again Craig and Sue!!

Next MRI, Thursday...will let you all know how CLEAN IT IS!!!!

Peace Out!

A Sense of Community -

2008-07-15T06:25:00.000-07:00

As a quick health update, before the topic of the day- :) , I feel fantastic, back to working out fairly regularly, the weather has been wonderful, and I was able to spend a few hours this weekend playing with my nephews Will and AJ at the Discovery Center, which is an interactive Kids Museum in Rockford. We had a blast, but boy did those kids where us out. I thought I was in decent shape until I tried to keep up with a 4 year old. :)

AN UPDATE from the last post - Gil had his surgery and it went well. He is home and recovering well! If you get a chance, wish him well on his blog http://gil.wolchock.blogspot.com. His Blog is always a great read and inspiring! Glad to hear you are up and around my friend.

As I approach my next visit to the "Tube" (MRI) on the 24th, my mind has started to wander back into the Cancer thinking realm. Not typically a fun place, but this time, I decided to reach out and find other GBM survivors to network with. I found a great website with message boards that I can communicate directly with GBM survivors and caregivers. It is a great little outlet for me to read about what others are going through, give advice, share my feelings, and realize how lucky I am to be doing as well as I am. I am truly blessed and this new outlet has given me a place to help others as well as help myself. Its a little thing, but those little things have amazing power!

So all in all, things are fantastic! I am happy and healthy, and grateful.

Go Cubs! from the admitted Bandwagon Fan and Peace Out from Miss Ava who is battling the split personality half Sox Fan, half Cubs Fan family. :)

Get your things in order....CHECK!

2008-07-07T11:16:00.000-07:00

While I was in the hospital, after surgery, we had to wait a couple days for the results of the pathology report on the tumor. One of the Hospital's inhouse Doctors, whose name I don't remember, but face I won't forget is the one who broke the news to me that I had a Grade 4 Glioblastoma Multiforme- The "Worst Kind" in his words.

He made a statement that has stuck with me and is finally 100% complete as of today! When I asked him how much time I had left, he was smart enough not to give me a specific timeline, but added that I needed to "Get my things in order", which I took to mean that I needed to get my shit together so that if I die, I don't leave a mess for my family and my business partner to unravel. The first step was getting a Will in place, which we accomplished a few months ago, and the final step was getting things documented for our business to ensure a solid transition. We finally made that happen today! It was like this HUGE rock has been lifted from my shoulders! Get Your Things In Order- CHECK!

Ok...on to the next step...Blow out the "Curve" of all these clinical trials and "Live Long and Prosper!!!". :) Live Hear, Right Now! Life is GREAT!!

Here are some of the reasons why-

1. Spent some time with my parents yesterday, and had some one on one time with my Dad that I truly enjoyed...just talking about his projects in their woods at their house.
2. Kim and I got out to play a little golf on the 4th with our brother in-law. Company was fun, my golf game sucks, but whats new.... :)
3. Kim and I didn't miss an event of the US Olympic Swimming trials, which, with both of us being former swimmers is something we really enjoyed! I figure if 41 year old Dara Torres can beat all of the younger challengers and break the American record in the 50m, then my 39yr old fat ass can beat some wimpy tumor.

As my friend Gil recently put in his blog http://gilwolchock.blogspot.com/ , "sometimes it's the little things in life that give you the greatest enjoyment". I totally agree!

On a side note, If you have a moment, log on to his blog and give him some positive thoughts...He is having some reconstructive knee surgery this week and would appreciate the positive energy as much as I do when I read your comments! Keep em coming!

Thank you and Peace Out!!

A Sunny Getaway

2008-06-25T09:28:00.000-07:00

Ok...I admit....the last 6 months have been a little mentally draining on Kim and I. :) (quite possibly could be the understatement of the year)

Kim and I had the opportunity to get away last weekend to Key West for a couple days at a Bed and Breakfast along with some time in the Sun! What a wonderfully relaxing trip! We accomplished EVERY ONE of our critical missions...

1. Sit in Sun by Pool/Beach with Book. CHECK!
2. Swim in Pool/Gulf to cool off as needed. CHECK!
3. Wander the island and shop for goofy Jimmy Buffett stuff and related swag. CHECK!
4. Relax. Relax. Relax. CHECK!
5. Forget about everything in the real world and BE NORMAL for a little while and enjoy each other for a few days. CHECK!

To kick off the trip, Kim and I met with Dr. Crute (my amazing surgeon) on Wed afternoon before we left. She reviewed the latest MRI from May. She was incredibly happy with the results! We then spent the next hour celebrating, laughing, and talking about good things! Dr. Crute has an amazing talent in helping us put everything in perspective. We both look forward to our visits with her. They truly brighten our day!

With Every passing day, I appreciate more and more the time that I have. I am ALIVE and Kicking and LIVING every minute! I know I sound like a broken record, but it is amazing how my outlook changes and improves every day. I find myself being alot more sentimental, and smiling for no reason other than I am just truly happy! Anger is an emotion that rarely pops its head. I love looking back at good things, and I am also looking forward further and further ahead!

I promised at the start of this blog to share my thoughts and feelings during this journey. Believe it or not, the dominant feeling I have is happiness. Happy to be alive, happy to be working, happy to have the friends and family that I do, and Happy to have been able to have had this last weekend to spend with my wife. And most of all, happy to think of the good things yet to come!

PEACE OUT!

6 Months Later...

2008-06-16T19:23:00.000-07:00

Next Friday, June 27th will mark 6 months since my diagnosis with a Brain Tumor. With a little help from the best surgeon in the world, along with the support of my family, and my awesome support group led by my friend Marky P, and my wife, Kim who helped prop it all up, I am still here! Alive and Kicking and feeling better than ever.

I don't believe in looking backward except to celebrate, so this little trip back over the last six months is my way of celebrating each of you who in your own way helped me become what I am today... A CANCER SURVIVOR...

When I think back, I still smile and get a little emotional thinking about...

1. Opening my eyes after 12 hours of surgery to my wife's smile.
2. Lyle bringing Jimmy Johns to the crowd waiting during my surgery...
3. the "Livestrong" bracelets that Kev & Deb left for me while I was sleeping
4. The books that were sent to me by my dear friends... Gene, Beth, and Jeff - that helped build the fight in me.
5. Lyle calling Swan...enough said.
6. The drives to Madison with Swan, Lyle, Mom, and the snowy ones with Kim....ie SNOW DAYS!
7. Using this Blog to say what I have wanted to say for years to my Dad and explain to him that what he has done for me means so much to me and how much I love him.
8. Becoming closer to my Mom than I have ever been, and the Laughter that we shared that has helped me heal. :)
9. Watching Jeff keep our business up and running during my downtime...
10. Seeing my friend create one of the most special nights I have ever had (See "a night to remember, and night I will never forget) Gene put it best...Mark P you are an angel sent from heaven to us all! I think of the vision of walking in the room at Cliffbreakers and seeing 50 people from throughout my life there to wish me well...every day!!!
11. The wonderful techs at UW Madison who managed my Radiation Schedule
12. Getting the opportunity to see how I have touched people throughout my professional life through their own words. I am still so moved by MJ Wilcox and his words that I review them often.
12. To my AMAZING Surgeon - Dr. Crute who saved my life and who I can't wait to see on Wed to show her the great results of my 2nd post radiation MRI!!!

There are many more things that I could celebrate...for more detail...read back in this documentary of my journey...I am doing all that I can to ensure I leave nothing unsaid.

Thank you once again to everyone...continue to SHARE HOPE! It works!

Peace Out!

New Source of Strength

2008-06-06T19:13:00.000-07:00

Just a short post to let you know that I am feeling absolutely fabulous! I am exercising several times a week and I truly feel as good as ever!

Wanted to share something that has become another source of strength for me. I only found this source a few days ago, but it has had a huge impact on me!

David M. Bailey is a Brain Tumor Survivor of 12+ years now, a singer/songwriter, and someone who has been coined "The Hope Guy". I met him at the American Brain Tumor Assoc. conference, but didn't really look him up until earlier this week. His music and lyrics are inspiring.

I am including two You Tube links of 2 different songs that represent me the most. Can you figure out which one represents me the most? :)

The Links are safe and tested. Please enjoy and let me know what you think. You may or may not like the music, but listen to the words. It truly has me inspired me....NOT TO SING...YOU DON'T WANT THAT, but Hope Does Run ETERNAL.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiV0SsKVUbk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhtHtURCIFs

Check out his site http://www.davidmbailey.com/ for his bio and more about his music.

Please do tell me what you think. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have.

MRI Results...

2008-05-27T15:57:00.000-07:00

Radiologist Impression of TALBOTT MRI as of 5/27/08:

1. Stable postoperative changes without evidence of recurrent or residual tumor surrounding the right temporal resection cavity.

ENGLISH TRANSLATION....MY MRI IS CLEAN AS A WHISTLE!!! No Tumor reoccurrence!

Another major landmark passes! Next major landmarks, 1 year, 2 year, and 5 year!

So for those of you watching at home that puts the score at...

The Greatest Surgeon in the World, a few more of Dem Smart Docs, and all the thoughts and prayers from the Talbott Support Group - 2
Stupid Brain Cancer Cells - 0

We are still in the first period, but we are KICKING ITS ASS! :)

(we just have to keep our head up cause we know the big C (cancer) doesn't play fair and will throw a cheap shot to anyone getting too cocky)

==========================================

Ok, so if you were having trouble and can't figure out my language above, Kim and I went to Madison bright and early this morning for a 6:45am MRI followed by my normal blood test and a meeting with Dr. Ian.

The results were outstanding! No recurrence of the tumor, and stability with the "secondary" area of focus! That is the exact thing we wanted to hear! Dr. Ian explained that we passed another major landmark with this MRI. The stats are really good for people who do this well at this point. The next major landmark is 1 year, then 2 years, then 5 years.

I am still doing the Oral Chemo (Temodar) 5 days out of every 28 days. We will continue that for probably another 9 cycles. I am responding well and we want to keep it up!! I will keep getting MRIs every 2 months throughout this first year. The goal is to keep up at the same pace! NO RECURRENCE, STABILITY with the other Secondary Focus. I would be ok if we said that every 2 months for the next 50 years---cause the more they keep saying it, the more I get to keep chugging!

So, if I sound "HIGH ON LIFE", it's because I am...ALIVE and loving every minute!

Thank you all again for you thoughts and prayers. I am living proof that they are working!

PEACE OUT!

Sharing Hope

2008-05-18T19:19:00.000-07:00

This weekend Kim and I attended an American Brain Tumor Association Patient event in Chicago. The event was called Sharing Hope..for 35 Years. It was held all day Saturday, so Kim went in Friday night to keep from having to get up at the crack of dawn.

The first breakout session at this conference was a meet and greet in which they broke the participants in 2 groups...those in treatment and those after treatment.

Kim and I obviously went to the in treatment session. The room had about 40-50 people, patients and caregiver/support person.

Each person was given the mike to introduce themselves and tell a little bit about themselves and their story. The purpose was for people to be able to connect later throughout the day with people of similar interests. Needless to say, it was a pretty amazing and emotional hour.

The first person to speak was probably in his mid 40's, and he has had a Glioblastoma (what I have) for 21 years!! He has tried alot of the medications and treatments over the years and is currently doing Temodar, which is what I am doing. He has had 8 reoccurrences and surgeries over the years, and his advice to everyone was to keep humor in your life! WOW!

We continued around the room some people celebrating one year, 2 years or more, having dealt with reoccurences and multiple rounds of treatment.

One 23 year old kid told his story of having a GBM removed and going through treatment. Treatment seems to be going well, and he is looking forward to living out one of his dreams of doing a triathalon this summer.

The one thing other than Brain Tumors that each and every person in that room had in common was HOPE. It was pretty neat to see that many people in the same room in the same situation.

We went from that session right into the general session which combined both groups and equaled around 150-200 people. The general session was comprised of a series of speakers on topics from treatments, after treatment care, "The New Normal", to Diet, and a Q&A session. It was very informative and I especially appreciated the session on "The New Normal". It was aptly named and reinforced alot for me.

It doesn't take long to cheer yourself up at an event like this. Everyone around is so full of life and hope.

I am so happy that I went to this event. It gave me even more reason to continue on my path and continue to LIVE AND LAUGH!! HOPE is a pretty beautiful word!

For some pretty amazing stories about people with Brain Tumors who chose LIFE... Check out this page from the American Brain Tumor Assoc. Site... http://hope.abta.org/sharinghopestories

I would advise Kleenex or Puffs. :) But Tears are Cleansing Right? :)

PEACE OUT!

Mother's Day

2008-05-12T19:08:00.000-07:00

With Mother's Day's happening yesterday, I thought I would spend a little time on this subject as it relates to my mother and her impact on me.

My mother has endured a pretty amazing emotional roller coaster ride in the last several months...From the depths of despair & shock, as I call her from the ER and say "Oh by the way, I am at the Hospital...they say I have a Tumor, to the Fear of my surgery and eventual diagnosis, to our current reality....Lots of Laughter! So, I think it is only fair to spend a little time on this special person in my life.

When I said our current reality....Lots of Laughter, I figure I better explain. One of the positive outcomes of my whole recovery process is that my Mom and I talk about every other day. Inevitably we start talking about something that just gets us laughing! My mom and I laughing can be a pretty infectious environment and it always brightens my day.

The latest topic is a computer that I attempted to build for her. After a series of issues, my mom has the partially built PC. Now is where the Keystone cops routine comes in. Several weeks later and several hundred $ later, my mom has a pile PC parts and the local Computers for Schools group has the rest. I think my mom and I could have created a movie short called "The Keystone PC Hacks try to build a computer"

Laughter aside, my mom and I have always had a special relationship. When I think back over the years, it is always the fun things that I remember. Like my mom coming to Iowa State Univ and my Fraternity when I was a Freshman for Mom's weekend. The laughter was really out of control after she got hammered on 2 glasses of wine and started telling stories about me to my Pledge Dad and his Mother. It took me a year to live that one down. :) The second best part of that weekend was she took me grocery shopping!!! For a freshman at college, that was huge...and she used her "hidden cash" to buy it, so Dad wouldn't find out. (OOPS Sorry for outing you Mom...Dad should forgive....it was 20 years ago.)

Its little things like that I think of when i think of my Mom. Memories like these and other little things like the fact that if I have ever been hurt or anywhere near a hospital, she has been there! And no matter what the situation, the two of us can find something to laugh about. I guess that's where I learned to grasp at the "Good Stuff" all the time.

So this is my tribute to my mom on Mother's Day. (A day late and a dollar short as usual)
Mom - Happy Mother's Day, I love you, and thanks for always keeping me laughing!

Hanging onto the "good stuff" continued

2008-05-05T18:13:00.000-07:00

To follow up on my last post, I have compiled some "good stuff" to share.

First, I want to thank all of you that donated to Kim and I on our MS Walk 2008. We had a great time, Kim was able to see some of the resources available to her. Kim's Mom, sister, nieces, and nephew joined us on the walk. We had a great day hanging out and walking at the Arboretum in Rockford. It was a gorgeous day! Here is a pic of Kim and her walking team. I am there, just behind the camera. :)

So I think this event will definitely become an annual event for us. Next year, we will build a team and build it up. Thanks Steph, Brytt, Lori, Greta, and Jesse for coming out and joining us and thank you again to all of you who donated. We really appreciated it.

So, while I was enjoying the "good stuff" yesterday, I started thinking about some other good stuff, one of my friends that was at my party sent me some of the pics he took. So in honor of celebrating the good stuff in life, I wanted to share these pics from the party...

Now this is true Laughter...laughter that only comes from the heart! Mark and I sharing some "good stuff"

Another form of happiness. Tears of Joy, Mark and I reminicing, and my wife showing tears of happiness for all the love and support she is seeing for me. She is showing exactly what I was feeling at that moment. I get choked up now just seeing this picture. My rock for the three months of surgery and treatment and the head of my support team let some of their happiness tears show. It makes my heart happy to know how happy they are right there. Tears are cleansing right? (Kim-I know you don't like this picture, but I love you and wanted everyone to see another reason why.)

Kim and I, and darling Miss Ava...Who is not really sure what to make of all the good stuff she is seeing, nor having Uncle Teeb take her away from Mommy.

A bunch of wanna be poker playas enjoying the good stuff!

Thank you all that came to this event. It brings tears of joy to my eyes just remembering! I promise to post more pictures as I get them.

Don't forget to focus on the GOOD STUFF!! Life is alot more fun that way.

PEACE OUT!!

IT is what IT is.

2008-04-30T16:54:00.000-07:00

IT is what IT is...a simple statement. A statement that has gotten Kim and I through more than many thought we could handle.

Our latest drama involves my wife Kim. About two years ago, my wife came down with something called OpticNeuritis. It caused temporary blindness in her right eye. It cleared up on its own, but through the course of Dr. appts, we learned that this is a common symptom of MS or Multiple Sclerosis. Now at the time, we chose not to do an MRI, because our Neurologist at the time said it would be inconclusive. Well a few weeks ago, Kim had the MRI done and her local Neurologist found a number of lesions on her brain and diagnosed it as MS.

We have known this for a couple weeks. The reason I have not blogged about it earlier was our fear of how people react when they hear "MS". MS is a very misunderstood disease. You probably know someone that has MS and don't even know it. It is a very common disease, and its a disease you CAN live with. Kim is starting a therapy called ReBiff that is a maintenance injection 3 days per week (kind of like an insulin shot). The purpose is to manage the symptoms in the short term and restrict the growth of the lesions in the brain, thus keeping the disease at bay as long as possible. As her Neurologist explains it...we are treating the disease now to help 20 years from now.

So, IT is what IT is. People have asked us both..."How can you handle all of this...from your Brain Tumor, to Kim's MS" Well, what else are we supposed to do? Sit around and Cry alot? Hell No that isn't going to happen...neither one of us are very good cryers.

The fact is We are alive, we love each other, we love our family and friends, we love what we do and we are choosing to LIVE! To us, there is no other choice. At least not one that is logical. :)

Life comes at you at a pretty fast clip. If you are not careful, the good stuff flys right by, and the bad stuff seems to hang out. Its like that optical illusion of the OLD WOMAN AND THE YOUNG WOMAN...depending on what angle you focus, the image changes.

You want to know how Kim and I do it? We keep changing our angle of perception. We are looking for the goodstuff and let the bad stuff fly right on by! This is a picture of us hanging on to the goodstuff!! :)

I am constantly inspired by my wife. This exercise reinforces that. It was a tough choice for her to disclose her MS diagnosis, but she is committed to show people that MS is something she has, not WHO she is!

She has MS, she is not defined by MS. She will not allow it to define her.

I have Brain Cancer, I am not defined by Brain Cancer. I will not allow it to define me.

If you were wondering where I get my inspiration, just look at the person in the picture next to me.

To put it in Kim's words... "That is just how we ROLL!"

If anyone would like to join us in our latest Journey, we will be walking together in the MS Walk 2008 in Rockford this Sunday, May 4th. Each and every one of you are welcome to join us! Send me a note or post a comment for more info.

PEACE OUT!

Spring is in the air...FINALLY

2008-04-21T16:57:00.000-07:00

Ok, this Winter officially goes down as the longest Winter in History. The weather has finally begun to change! Now, I have always been a fan of change, and I have built my business on managing client's change. I am enjoying the change in weather, but another change has me a little disturbed.

To explain, I first need to let you know that this weekend, I had an old fashioned Poker Party at my house. All the old players were there from years ago when we played on a regular basis...Lyle, Swan, Lou, Doug, Jeff, and Skol. Now there is a reason we invite Skol. He is notorious for losing at poker and donating chips to every pot. He is ridiculously bad at bluffing and we love him for it. HOWEVER, this weekend, a first happened...SKOL won and won BIG! I have had to deal with alot, from surgery to Cancer treatment, but this is just TOO MUCH!!! :)

In all seriousness it was a great night. Kim set up the food and I even got to have my token drink (Dem Docs say I can have an Occasional Drink...that was it. :) )

I was able to spend time with friends, and do a lot of laughing. I can't think of a better way to spend a Saturday Night, except for the whole Skol winning crap. So if you see Skol, invite him out to Lunch...HE's BUYING!!!!!

Life has returned to as close to normal as I can imagine, the only exception being driving. I go back to the doc next week to fight that fight. :) I go back on April 30th for a checkup and restarting the Chemo. No MRI this month, only doing those every 8 weeks.

I apologize for not posting more often, but with things going so well, all I have to say is..LIFE IS GOOD, LIFE IS GREAT, and I am enjoying every minute I have! So, I will post when I have something interesting to say, or anything changes in my health. If you don't hear from me, then you can bet that I am working like a crazy man, DRIVING my mower, spending time with Kim, or just living life for every moment that I have!

Kim ran across a story that I think is a perfect life lesson. I hope you enjoy, I did!

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport.We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly.

So I asked, "Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!" This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, "The Law of the Garbage Truck."

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so..... "Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't." Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!

Miss Ava says.... "Give my Daddy Lyle Back his chips!" Oh yeah and PEACE OUT!

Inspiration from Odd places

2008-04-13T09:16:00.000-07:00

After the results of my latest MRI, I was on a pretty solid week long High, and it wasn't just me... Everyone around me was able to share in the excitement from my family to my friends!

I apologize for not posting earlier, but any post that I would have written would have been one word long... WOW.

On Dateline this week they had the story about Randy Pausch, the Carnegie Mellon Professor that was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer and given 6 month of good living left. I found it flipping the channels and was able to watch it in its entirety. The tears flowed easily by the end of the show.

The brief synapsis for those of you that missed it is that he is not letting his diagnosis bring him down. The story is about his "Last Lecture" and how he is using his positive outlook carry him through his Cancer fight. He puts it very eloquently..."We can not change the cards we were dealt, only how we play the hand!" The entire lecture was about 2 things - Achieving your Childhood Dreams, and Enabling the Dreams of Others, but watch out for the "Head Fakes at the end...thats what put me over the edge with the Tears. :).

As I hope you can see, there is some similarity to what he is doing and what I am trying to do. He is so much more eloquent and inspiring with his approach. This is solidified my perspective and inspired me. The most amazing similarity was one comment he made in his lecture. At some point during his acceptance phase after the diagnosis, Randy and his wife looked at each other and said "It is what it is".

Those are the exact words that Kim and I said to each other the minute they said that I had a tumor, the minute the gave the pathology report, and the minute that they layed out the treatment plan.

"You can't change the cards you were dealt, only how you play the hand." That is going to be with me forever.

You can get a copy of Randy Pausch's "Last Lecture" through Itunes U for free for you IPOD users or you can get it from YouTube...just search "Randy Pausch" or "Last Lecture" I can't recommend it enough. It is inspiring! It truly makes you realize what you have.

Peace Out!

And the Dr News gets BETTER!

2008-04-07T21:08:00.000-07:00

Today was my follow up appt with Dr. Crute, the amazing Neurosurgeon who did my surgery. I brought the MRI from Madison for her to review. We were hoping to get a more detailed explanation as to what was in the MRI. What we got was even more amazing...

Dr. Crute was physically excited with the results! She reviewed the written report and reviewed it with us. First and foremost, the spot of the tumor shows no residue! The secondary focus that they originally glowed with contrast showed nothing. Dr. Crute explained that as probably a lower grade Glioma that was knocked out by the radiation and chemo round 1. Now Dr. Crute has seen alot of these tumors and is always very cautious and reserved with setting our expectations. However, today, she was absolutely excited about the results. You can imagine how that makes me feel. But what really put me over the edge today was what she said next.

"I can't make any guarantees with GBM Tumors, however, based on my experience, your age, and the results of this MRI, I believe you have added YEARS to your life expectancy."

YEARS! NOW THAT'S ABSOLUTELY AMAZING...This comes from an original diagnosis of 6-18 months.

Dr. Crute is Kim and My new Hero! She not only made our day, but she saved my life! From an amazing surgery, that she admitted was one of the worse she has seen, to results that are off the charts in a positive manner! Not only is she an amazing surgeon, but she, by far, has the best patient interaction (bedside manner) of any Dr. that I have ever met. From the day I was admitted, through my whole hospital stay, and now the follow up meetings that I look forward to, she spends time talking us through any and all issues until she is sure that we understand. She is one of the most overtly caring Dr. that I have ever seen. To see her positive emotional reaction today when explaining the results to us was awesome. It was the true and real emotion that she shared that truly helped me BELIEVE!

So, thanks to Dr. Crute, I now am looking forward YEARS, not months! That is news that I just couldn't wait to share!!!

Peace Out!

Spring is in the air...

2008-04-06T18:28:00.000-07:00

Sweet Sweet Rebellion is MINE!!! Dr Ian said absolutely no driving....But I found a way to rebel. I have not gone the Moped route yet, but I found the next best thing...

TODAY I GOT OUT THE RIDING LAWN MOWER, DROVE AROUND AND DETHATCHED THE YARD!!! WOO HOO!!!

Ok, I know you are all thinking that I have just lost my damn mind... :) Well I haven't completely lost my mind, but cabin fever has taken over!

Its amazing how much cabin fever has hit me this year. With the longer than normal Winter and all the health issues, I have been out of my mind waiting to be able to spend some time outside...today was that day! Kim and I spent a couple of hours running errands and then came home and I jumped at the opportunity to spend an hour dethatching my yard!! It helped that I DROVE the mower. :)

Some days its the little things that make you smile! I have learned not to take any of them for granted anymore!

As is becoming a weekly feature...My BLESSINGS FROM THE WEEK

A GREAT MRI showing No Progression and even some tumor resolution! Better than my Docs expected and the best results we could hope for!
Spending time with Craig and Sue and going to a Hockey game!
Enjoying being outside and DRIVING...even just the Mower. :)
Reading the overwhelming comments on my results post. Thank you all for the positive thoughts. I truly love reading the comments from all of you.
Deciding on my avenue to give back..>Charity Poker Tourney for the American Brain Tumor Association! Watch for details!
The blessing of friends...thank you is just not enough

Have a great week Everyone! PEACE OUT (from Little Miss Ava with Spring Fever)!

An Idea to give back!

2008-04-05T07:11:00.000-07:00

You all already know that I am a huge fan of Poker. So, as I was thinking of ways to give back, I remember that Rockford/Chicago has an organization called Rockford Charitable Games. http://www.rockfordcharitablegames.com/charities.php

I have attended many of these events over the years and they get a fantastic draw.

I have just reached out to the organization, so I will let you know as the planning progresses. I would love to hear your thoughts about this concept.

The Goal - To raise money and awareness for Brain Tumor Research. All proceeds will go to the American Brain Tumor Assoc. www.abta.org who is headquarted in Des Plaines, IL just down the road.

Would love to hear your thoughts on this idea and maybe even some ideas for Names...the Talbott Annual MEMORIAL is NOT an option cause I plan to be around for a long damn time...

So maybe the POKER RUN for the BRAIN? LOL...obviously I have no creative bones in my body.

Your thoughts and Ideas are very welcome!

PEACE OUT!

The first Post Radiation MRI Results

2008-04-03T17:10:00.000-07:00

After 6 weeks of Radiation and Chemo, I have been on a 4 week vacation from treatment protocol to allow me time to heal. Per protocol, I had to have an MRI done today. They have been telling me all along that this MRI will more than likely not tell us alot. They actually expect to see some tumor swelling and even growth at this stage.

So, I woke up this morning around 4am overthinking the entire upcoming MRI event. Finally got out of bed around 6am and had breakfast. After a quick shower and getting ready to leave, my nerves got the better of me and I vomitted breakfast back to General Mills. What a lovely visual huh? Imagine what a great start to the day it was for me!

Once we got going, Kim and I picked up my Mom and headed North to Madison. We had a 9:30 MRI appointment which was then followed by lunch at the UW cafeteria, and then off to our appt with Dr. Ian and his coordinator Diana. So we went and had the first of two conversations with Dr. Ian.

MRI RESULTS- "No Recurrence of the tumor, secondary focus is "entirely stable!", report even shows some resolution of tumor (shrinking). The Report looks GREAT" It was the best report that we could have received. It was even better than "No Progression" ...in essence - The Radiation Worked!!!!

So, being the smart ass that I am, I jumped right in and said..."So Dr. Ian, this means I can start driving today RIGHT?" Well...after a 15 min tirade and explanation..."You do have a serious Brain Tumor, Liability, Legal thing, High risk patient, blah, blah, blah....I LOST... No Driving for me.

Now being the pouting baby that I am, what I took from the entire conversation...was just the no driving thing. From that meeting, I had to go get bloodwork done and wait for the results so they could dispense the chemo. So I sat and waited for the results of the bloodwork...totally pissed off about not winning my battle to drive. Now I understand the reason he is so strict. He is worried about being liable if he says ok. It is still incredibly frustrating considering I have never had a seizure and I am feeling so well, but I obviously don't want to take the chance of hurting someone else if I have a seizure while driving, but I was still PISSED OFF!

So being the ROCK that she is Kim says...in her own way (I am paraphrasing)..."Hey Dumbass, don't you realize what that MRI Meant...YOU TOOK A BIG STEP TOWARDS REMISSION TODAY!" You can LIVE without driving!" :)

Which of course she is right, so by the time we collected all of the chemo drugs, I finally felt the excitement of the MRI Results and had created a solution to the No Driving Thing....

He said no driving, not NO RIDING... at least with this I can only hurt myself. So don't be suprised if you see me this summer cruising my way around Marengo and my friends at Flatlanders in this hot new ride...

So in closing, it looks like I am going to be around a little longer to be a pain in the ass to my doctors! :) My Chemo will probably last 12 cycles. I take 5 days of Chemo every month at twice the dosage that I took before. I start tonight and go through Monday. I will go up to see Dr. Ian and Diana once a month for new bloodwork and picking up the next month's chemo drugs. I have some new targets that I heard Dr. Ian talking about today... Once a Survivor of a GBM makes it to the 5 year mark, he considers them cured. So, one step at a time, but I have a new goal. 5 Years!!!! Please keep up the positive thoughts and prayers, they helped me accomplish the AMAZING....a GREAT MRI REPORT after Radiation when the doctors expected it to be much worse!!!

LIFE IS GOOD!!!

PEACE OUT!!!

The Power of Friends

2008-03-29T18:17:00.000-07:00

Quick Health Update

I am feeling fantastic and am actually excited for the next step. Next Thursday, April 3rd, I go back to Madison to get an MRI, meet with dem smart Doctors and start my next cycle of Chemo. I will also find out which arm of the clinical trial that I will be in. I promise to post and update you all with what I find out at that appointment. I apologize for not posting as often, but since I have felt so damn good, I have been keeping myself pretty damn busy...back to normal. I also wanted to let you know that I received some great ideas on how I can give back (from my last post) I will be utilizing some of those ideas and will let you all know what I decide to do. I am leaning towards developing some sort of annual event for survivors and families in the area.

Talking with people about my disease and how I have gotten through it prompts the same response every time...What a great group of Friends and Family you have. What an understatement!

As I celebrate the 3 month mark of recovery from my Brain Surgery today, I can't help but think about the people that have helped me get to this point. I can in no way come close to thanking everyone, but I do want to dedicate some time to some special people...As you already know, I do not believe in leaving things unsaid.

From the minute we learned of the tumor's existence through all the treatments, the trips to Madison, and through every "meltdown", Kim has been there. She is my rock, my best friend and I love her dearly and can't imagine having gone through this without her.

My Parents, from being at my side in the ER to being my driver to Madison, my Mom and Dad have been there. I believe it has brought us closer than we have ever been! I have been able to say things via this blog to my father that I have wanted to say for years, and the talks that my Mom and I had on our drives were fantastic! My Family, from my sister and brother in-law to my brother and sister in-law have been incredible. From a little gesture that meant so much... like leaving me Lance Armstrong "Livestrong" bands while I was sleeping just after surgery, to just calling to check in on me; It has meant the world to me. Thank you!

Friends- Throughout this blog, you have seen the power of my friends. I want to call a few out and personally thank them. Bear with me, but these people have helped me more than they will ever know with simple acts of kindness.

Ralph L- From early in my recovery process, Ralph reached out to me to check in on me and share his recovery experiences. We talked for a long time and he left me with such a feeling of "I CAN DO THIS", at a time that I really needed it. Ralph is who actually recruited me into the NH network. I have known him through work and respected him for years, but this experience and the sharing of his time has truly made him someone I am proud to call a friend. Thank You.

Swan and Lyle- When my wife came out of my hospital room after surgery Lyle asked her..."what can I do?" With tears in her eyes she says, Someone needs to call Swan. Without hesitation, Lyle says I will do it! Now there is a lot more to this story, but what is important is that....your gesture and the ensuing renewed friendship between you and Swan means more to me than I can ever express. You two are two of the closest friends I have and it has meant so much to be able to reconnect with both of you and bring the three of us together again after all these years! Swan- From Sunny to Rainy to Little Pink Houses, you have been there. To Both of you, the conversations that we had on our drives to Madison continue to bring me strength. Thank you for being there!

Jeff- Even the rock (KIM) needs a shoulder from time to time. You have been that shoulder. How can I thank the person who was there for my family at a time that I was unable to? From making her smile with your demented humor to helping with the dogs while I was in the hospital. These little gestures and things you did for my family while I was in the hospital are more than I could ever ask from a business partner and Friend. Our purpose in our business is to provide for our families and I can't thank you enough for providing for mine while I was unable. Thank You!

Mark P- You have all seen what an amazing person Mark is, and what he has done for me during this process. Gene L - said it best in a comment on an earlier post - Mark you are an Angel sent from Heaven to all of us. I couldn't agree more. From the minute you found out about my surgery, you jumped to action. You have been amazing...from coordinating the Talbott Support Group contact list, to keeping people updated on my status, to coordinating "A night to remember, a night I will never forget". Mark Patrick, you are an Angel sent from Heaven to us all!

As I celebrate 3 months of recovery, I have naturally spent some time recently thinking back over the last three months. I have been blessed in so many ways, from quick recovery and early release from the hospital to an incredibly uneventful Radiation and Chemo Phase I. Many people think that my attitude and outlook come from me...the reality is that I have fed off of the incredibly positive people in my life. Thank you is just not enough.

Peace Out!

Where do we go from here?

2008-03-21T18:12:00.000-07:00

Ok, now this is getting ridiculous! They keep telling me that I have Cancer, but I am not sure I believe them anymore! :) I feel too damn good. :) Believe me, I am not complaining...lets hear it for the power of positive thinking and prayer!

So enough about me...Its time to take this blog discussion to a new area. In the short time that I am blessed to be on this Earth, how do I give back to others in need? The most obvious choice is by helping people that have my type of Cancer. I have noticed that Madison has a Brain Tumor Support Group that meets on a regular basis. What if I could put something like that together in Rockford? Does one exist? How do I take that up a notch and individualize it so I can actually help individuals with Brain Tumors by sharing my outlook and energy? These have been the ideas that are rolling through my head right now. I am beginning the search to find out what is already out there and where I may be able to help. If any of you have ideas, please send them to me. It needs to be something that allows me to directly share my outlook and energy with others that are suffering with Cancer, most specifically Brain Tumors.

I am full of life and full of positive energy thanks to all of you. Now is my time to pass that on to others...to Pay it Forward to use a cliche. I know I have been blessed and have had an incredibly uneventful treatment regimen, but part of that has to be Positive Attitude and Laughter. I refuse to think I am just that lucky. Those of you who have been to Vegas with me or played poker with me know that that is just not the case. :)

Throughout my 6 weeks of Radiation Treatment at UW Madison, I spent alot of time in the oncology wards and although the staff is incredible, the feeling in the waiting rooms is and was typically one of doom, gloom, or pain, especially in the chemo waiting room.

If I can take away the pain, or provide an alternate perception if even for a few minutes, of someone suffering, then it is all worth it. What better place to start than with people with Brain Tumors. I can relate to their treatments, or surgerys and I can share my positive energy and maybe even bring some smiles to their faces.

Maybe it is something as easy as volunteering for the American Cancer Society...who knows, but it is now a quest of mine. Deliverying teddy bears or games to the kids in the cancer ward...I know I could find the resources to help with that...

So, I don't know where I will go with all of this, but I am determined to find a way to give back. I am asking you all for ideas. I am open to anything as long as I can somehow see the faces of the people I am able to help.

The reason for all of this is simple and not anything grandious. I have been Blessed in so many ways throughout this journey, that I feel that I owe it to myself to give back to others.

Happy Easter Everyone!! I hope you all are able to spend time with your families this weekend.

Please share your ideas when you get a moment!!!

Some Blessings to Share from This week...
1. Running into friends at the grocery. Jerry and Jan, Jason and Katie, and Julie. It was great to see you all!
2. Spending the whole day today with Kim. Not doing anything fancy, just spending time together...a blessing in itself!
3. Getting a WII Game Console and watching Kim play the golf and boxing games...Laughing my fool head off the whole time :)
4. Spending time with Jeff talking about business issues and feeling productive.
5. Getting a call from Miss Ava - (as she was playing with Lyle's Cell Phone) :)

Peace Out!

A week of Normalcy

2008-03-15T20:08:00.000-07:00

Well, its been one full week since the completion of radiation and the surprise party of my life. How am I feeling? Absolutely FANTASTIC!! I have had a fantastic week. Had two great events happen this week.

The first event was the opportunity to ride along on a trip with my partner Jeff to visit a client down in Peoria. It was great to spend some time catching up with Jeff, visiting with our client and getting out of the house!

The second event happened today. Kim and I went over to Kim's sister's to celebrate St. Patrick's day. We had a great dinner of Corned Beef and Cabbage, played catch with my nephew, and was able to play (ok mainly watch :) ) "Rock Band" (a Video Game) with my brother-in-law, nieces, and nephew. It was awesome to just hang out and play with the kids and have a few hours of true Normal! It sounds like a little thing, but it was a really awesome feeling playing catch with my nephew. It was so Normal! I loved it. My brother in-law and I even spent some time talking about the upcoming golf season...what could be more normal.

So, I would love to give you some big philosophical statement about this Cancer fight, but when it comes down to it...Life is great, and every minute that goes by, I am feeling less like a cancer patient and more like the old me! To me, that means I AM WINNING!

As Miss Ava would say... PEACE OUT!

A Night to Remember...A Night I'll Never Forget

2008-03-09T10:43:00.000-07:00

Wow...Just Wow! What an incredible night!

The plan was simple. Dinner at Cliffbreakers, then off to Franny's for a cocktail with a couple people from NH Rockford. Nothing crazy...right Mark? NOT SO MUCH. :)

So, we met Mark at Cliffbreaker's in the Bar before dinner. We had a drink and then the hostess came and got us for our dinner reservation. I was still excited about Mark flying in to see me that I didn't even notice that we walked right by the dining room. Cliffbreakers has a lot of little private rooms for dinner and Mark indicated that he got us one of those. We stopped at the Vanderbilt room...Mark says "I love ya bro" and pushed me in the room. I walk into the room and could not believe my eyes...Close to 50 people, friends from throughout my adult life... all of them staring back at me. I am not sure how long I stood there in awe...it felt like 10 minutes...Just looking at the faces, tears of happiness welling up in my eyes.

I couldn't believe it so many friends all there to see me. The range was awesome..My Best Friend Denny from High School who flew in from Atlanta, the core team of NH Rockford, the core team of NH Chicago, my close friend Gil from my NH Days who flew in from Atlanta, Clients and close friends from Caterpillar that drove 3 hours in from Peoria, a good friend from NH days who drove in from Wisconsin, my closest friends from the area (including darling Miss Ava), my partner(who has been on the road for weeks but took time away from his family to be there), JB & Mark who flew in special from Phoenix, and so many more...

Mark literally planned and executed the absolute surprise of my life. I literally felt my knees start to wobble and jaw hit the ground. The fact that I stayed upright and didn't pass out was a miracle itself.

Kim comes up next to me and says...Oh by the way, we are staying here tonight. Two of my close friends from NH Chicago Kory and Tammy couldn't be there, but wanted to help, so they paid for our room. Unbelievable doesn't even do it justice. Thank you guys so much.

So, not only did he bring everyone together, he had a plan. Knowing that there are two hobbies that I enjoy the most, golf and poker....he planned a poker tournament for during this party....and for those that didn't play poker... CRANIUM! Johnny D....its OK I found the correlation of Cranium and my situation absolutely PERFECT and hilarious...Hell if I can't laugh about my situation by now, then I have a bigger problem. :)

How Mark coordinated so many people and kept it all a secret is amazing. Kim has started to fill in some of the gaps, but it still boggles my mind. You pulled it off in perfect form my friend. Thank You!

Steve Foor helped take the experience to another level by putting a DVD together with pictures and music from our NH Rockford days. It was amazing.

There were at least a dozen other cameras and video cameras there as well, so I will post pics as soon as I get them! If you had one of the cameras, please send me pics!!!!

Did I tell you how amazing this experience was? I was in the room around 6:45pm and spent the evening until almost 1:00am catching up with my unbelievable friends, hugging everyone that I could, crying, laughing, and saying WOW alot! I even played decent poker, which I can't believe because my attentions were all over the room all the time. I tried to give a speech on the fly before the poker started, and I said a few words, none of which I remember. I know I wanted to say more, but in the emotion of the moment, there was no way I was going to get the words out.

It truly warms my heart and blows me a way seeing so much love and support for me in one room. I could only dream that I have been able to touch this many people in my life. Add the prayers and positive thoughts that just the people in that room have sent me and continue to send me...its no wonder I feel so damn good! With this kind of support, I am gonna have some flabergasted Doctors as I continue to heal and wreck the curve of stats for my type of Cancer!

When I say, a Night to Remember...A Night I'll Never Forget, I think you can understand what an understatment that is.

To each and everyone of you that attended last night...>THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart!! I do not have the words to express how much last night meant to me. You are all absolutely unbelievable and I love you all! Last night strengthened my drive to beat this disease. I am stronger because of each of you. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You.

Radiation Complete!!!

2008-03-07T18:25:00.000-08:00

Phase I has been accomplished!!! I am officially done with Radiation forever, and chemo for 4 weeks!

My next trip to Madison won't be until April 3rd. WooHoo! I just got 5 hours per day back!!

Kim, my Mom and I went up for the final treatment today. We met with Diana who talked to us about the interim and our questions. She did a great job explaining everything to us. I will get an MRI when I go back in April and meet with Dr. Ian and Dr. Mehta. At that time, I will find out what arm of the clinical trial I will be in. Then I get the Chemo drugs and new calendars. In addition, they will read the MRI and tell us what is says. In addition, I have to send in weekly blood work so they can keep an eye on me. After that, I repeat that same routine every 8 weeks until Chemo is done, which will depend on what the MRI scans say. Using Dr. Mehta's words "no progression" is the magic words.

Getting the final radiation treatment was uneventful until the end. At the end, the techs gave me my mask as a souvenir, and a special certificate that the techs wrote notes to me and signed. Kim also brought some chocolate that she picked out for the techs....BIG HIT!!! I think they were gone minutes after we dropped them off.

After leaving the Radiation treatment, we celebrated with a great greasy burger at the Blue Moon in Madison (which I highly recommend) best greasy burgers in Madison. :)

After we dropped my Mom off, Kim and I decided to run some errands, which upon hindsight probably wasn't the best idea. The reason was that we were both physically and emotionally tired before we began our errands. So several hours later when we got home, we each had a mini meltdown. For both of us it was the last 6 weeks of emotion finally coming to the surface. So, we cried for a while and let it out. I think for me it was the realization that I had survived the first 6 weeks of treatment and did it in great shape. In addition, it was a realization of how much our life has changed and for me, how much of a sacrifice that Kim has made for me. I truly understand why there are so many support groups for CAREGIVERS...it is exhausting. I couldn't ask for a better primary caregiver in Kim, nor could I ask for a better support group than the one I have with all of you. I think it just piled up and decided it was time to come out. Tears are cleansing right? :)

It took all day, but it finally hit me. Phase I is complete and I am still alive! Moving into phase II is scary, but exciting as well. I am still waiting in the back of my mind for the day that dem smart docs say...OK...its all gone, you can go back to living your life. That, however, is not going to happen. With a GBM Tumor, "no progression" is good...as Diana says, make this disease chronic.

So, I MADE IT! Phase I Complete and as Diana put it I am doing better than most people with the same tumor as me. That to me is GREAT NEWS! I like being an overachiever. :)

The initial celebration has been smiles and tears, but all in all excellent. The celebration continues tomorrow with my good friend Mark. Can't wait to see ya brother!

Got Kisses from Miss Ava today and she told me to tell you... PEACE OUT!!

3 DAYS TO GO!!!

2008-03-04T19:51:00.000-08:00

1,2,3 - Wed, Thurs, Fri.... No matter how you count it, I am done with Radiation in 3 days!!!

I am finally starting to see it...the end of Radiation. I still concede that I am entirely too healthy to have cancer. I feel too damn good. I haven't had a bad health day in weeks. So other than Fatigue, I am working on exiting the Bug Zapper (Radiation) in 3 days feeling fantastic and only having fatigue as a side effect! So, the way I look at it, the power of positive thinking is working.

I asked Dr. Mehta today when I will know something. His response was great. He said that there is no definitive timeframe. But, much like Diana told me at the beginning, the goal is to turn this into a Chronic Disease. Dr. Mehta told me today that every new scan that I have done that shows "no progression" I take another step towards remission. This is good news and a little scary. Knowing me, it means that starting in early April, I will work myself into a frenzy every 8 weeks while I get a scan and wait for results. Then I move on. :)

Once I make it past the Chemo Phase (6-12 months depending on scan results) then I will consider myself a cancer survivor. Until then, I will continue being in active treatment.

Phases. I am about to complete phase I. And no matter what any doctor says... I AM TOO DAMN HEALTHY TO HAVE BRAIN CANCER!!! :)

So, I am paying attention and actively particpating in my treatment plan as I have learned from many many survivors, but with the way I am feeling, I am LIVING EVERY MOMENT THAT I CAN....all I need now is the snow to melt so the GOLF CAN BEGIN!!! :)

Marky P is coming to celebrate my end of radiation this weekend. I can't express how excited I am to see him. I am sure it will be incredibly emotional, rightfully so as most of you would agree based on how much he has done in keeping the Talbott Support Team up to speed on my progress. I will post at end of weekend to share my celebration and experience with you all!

As Always PEACE OUT!!!

Finding a new Normal...

2008-02-27T16:17:00.000-08:00

First and foremost, thank you Mark and Gil. Your thoughts on the switch really hit home. Thinking about the people that are praying for me is incredible and may just be the Switch that I needed to find! Thank you. Worse case, I will go exercise, cause I don't want to get my butt kicked by Mom either. :)

Starting tomorrow, I go into "Boost" Phase of Radiation, which as it is explained to me is the same dose, just more concentrated at the spot where the tumor was/is. This phase lasts Thurs/Fri of this week and all week next week. Then I am done with Radiation. Woo Hoo!!

Beginning March 8th, I begin what I am seeing as a new phase in my life...Post Radiation...

I will have 1 month free of chemo, then start the chemo phase of treatment. That phase will last 6-12 months with MRIs every 8 weeks to check on progress. This leads to the next phase in my life - POST CANCER!!!

So now that I have a switch to refer back to, my thoughts and actions are now beginning to focus on creating a new normal.

But, what is normal? What do I want that to be? In essence, who do I want to be? This is going to be an ongoing process. I realize that my life has to change to some degree and will continue to change as I move through the phases of recovery.

I can tell you that there are some absolutes and principles that are automatic. Here are Talbott's New Living Absolutes and 5 Rules. For my NH Friends, you will see some familiarities.

1. Never Look Back except to Celebrate! Life is forward!
2. Spend more time with my wife, my family, and my friends. This experience has made it perfectly clear how important you all are in my life. I am blessed and I plan to take full advantage of that blessing!
3. Be a productive partner for my business. Get myself healthy so I can get back to work in any capacity that I can! Find a way and Make It Happen!
4. Give back! I have been given so much, I will find a way to give back to others. If I can use this experience to inspire or help another human dealing with pain or disease, then it will all be worth it!
5. Live every moment. Live!
6. Never Forget Absolute #1 or Absolute #5 for that matter :)

Talbott's 5 Personal Rules/Principles

1. I must be the first thing I work on everyday. Are you Green and Growing or Ripe and Rotting?
2. I get strong by making the strong stronger.
3. Anything that adds to or multiplies is good, anything that subtracts from or divides is bad.
4. Multiply yourself by teaching others- Two steps forward, reach back and Pull
5. Enthusiasm is the window to a person's personality!

The funny thing about both sets of these rules and absolutes is that the majority of them were written down by me in 1997 in a document that I have maintained as Talbott's Personal Manual. They have been a simple list of how I wanted to live my life with a number of added principles for how I wanted to run my business. I compiled it a couple months after I got involved with my first small business, Innovative Training Solutions. Now with how my life has changed, the principles have become even more powerful!!!

This list of principles was titled by a quote by an unknown author, but still means alot to me. "A man who can control himself, is more worthy than a man who can control an army" So, Mom, I am using my braincells to beat this Cancer! Braincells and the power of positive thought!

So, as I begin to develop my new Normal, I wanted to share my new outlook with you all. Feel free to keep me honest! Thank you all for your support and inspiration through your prayers, comments, and positive thoughts! Never forget Absolute #1.

As always PEACE OUT!

In search of the "Switch"

2008-02-24T17:13:00.000-08:00

4 weeks down and only 2 weeks to go with Round 1 of Treatment. Healthwise, I have been feeling great. My latest emotional quest is that of finding the "Switch"

The switch is not something scientific about Cancer or even the How or Why Me about the Cancer. Those two questions do not bother me in the least...It is what it is!

The switch that I am looking for is that damn switch in my brain that will turn off me thinking about it all the damn time. I am able to occupy myself for short periods of time, but my brain like a big magnet will swing back to thinking about the fact I have cancer and all of the related issues - "see mini meltdown minus the tears". I have always had a little attention issue, but this is just getting ridiculous. I can't keep my mind off of it and is pissing me off. I am stronger than this. I can understand lying in bed awake thinking about what I need to do at work or issues related to that, but laying around wallowing in something that I have absolutely no control of is flipping stupid.

I think the challenge is the downtime that I have coming to me. After March 7th, I have 4 weeks of no radiation, and no chemo. It is a time to let me heal before starting my 6-12 month regimen of chemo. They do one CT scan after 1 month but flat out tell me that they don't expect to see ANY results...its too early. So, I have to sit around for a month, without being able to work - to wait and see a CT scan that will tell me nothing and maybe even show growth/swelling, which dem smart doctors say is to be expected and is in no way bad news, just standard. It will be another 6 months before I really know anything and that thought just sits in my head like a really bad QT Burrito (Uncle Nicks for you Rockfordians) does in your stomach after a rough night at the Bar! :)

So, I do not feel mentally bad, just frustrated. I have never been a patient person, especially in business, and waiting months for results is so hard for me to get my arms around. That and I am a huge control freak and can't control a damn thing in this process. This is where I am supposed to say EXCEPT MY ATTITUDE, but for that to happen, I have to find this DAMN SWITCH! :) So, if anyone knows where the hell the switch is...(other than at the bottom of a bottle of Bacardi- that's off limits for me for now. :) )....Please let me know! :)

Peace Out!

Just Call Me Stubblehead!

2008-02-20T15:07:00.000-08:00

Mark's Early 2000 Rendition. :)

Ok, so it was bound to happen...the Save Steve's Hair campaign has failed. :) I finally lost the fight with the clippers and buzzed my hair off. :) Good thing my head is fairly symmetrical.

Back in our NH Days, Marky P and I held a contest with our sales people. If they hit a certain number in sales, they would get to shave my head. So Mark with his demented sense of humor created flyers with a picture of me that he Photoshop altered to make me bald- Included above. After 7 years, I finally resemble that picture. :) At least I knew what to expect.

My hair was finally thinning on the right side of my head (where they shoot the radiation, and where dem smart doctors said it would fall out) I figured I was starting to look lopsided and figured what the hell. Its not like I haven't shaved my head before anyway...(See...Stupid High School Swimmer Tricks) or as my Dad would put it...Jello Brain.

Let me tell you...my morning prep time has dropped dramatically...no more need for that shampoo stuff or the hours of primping to get my Friar Tuck look just right.. Just Soap Rinse, and dry...woo hoo.

Halfway through week 4 and I see a light at the end of the Tunnel...and its NOT A TRAIN!!!

The last two days have actually been good on the roads and I have been able to spend more time with Swan and Lyle. I continue to enjoy the drive with these guys as we spend alot of time reminiscing and laughing which continued this week. Its amazing how much laughing helps you feel better mentally and physically!

Met with Dr. Mehta (Radiation Oncologist Extraordianare) today for my weekly check up. Took all of 3 minutes. He says all my bloodwork looks great and I am tolerating the radiation very well! I told him I studied hard for that test. :) Healthwise, I am doing really well. I have to take a nap usually every day... (I know you are all jealous) which dem smart doctors said would happen...but otherwise, I am feeling really good. Now if I can just motivate myself to get some exercise I will be even better!

On another note, I had a really great thing happen to me today! My buddy Marky P, who I refer to often in this blog is coming to visit! It has been a while since I have seen him - he does live a couple thousand miles away. I am really excited to see him. He wants to take Kim and I out to dinner to celebrate the end of Radiation and just to catch up. That truly made my day. Can't wait to see ya brother!! I hope to be able to return the favor and come out to play some golf with you next month and see MA and the BOYZ!!!

And thank you to everyone for your comments on this blog and the personal notes I have recieved via email. They truly mean alot!!!

Peace Out!! (from Miss Ava and I!)

Snow Days X 2 (Getting Real)

2008-02-18T18:20:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the Tundra. Thanks to the weather, Kim and I spent another two days in Madison this weekend. :)

As someone who is fighting brain cancer, I believe the worst thing that I can do is have a bunch of idle time....cause I tend to Think TOO DAMN MUCH. But as Kim and I realized this weekend, there are just times that it hits both of us. Kim and I have coined it "when things get real". Those are the days that you wake up and go "Oh Shit...I have brain cancer...now what". Well I found out this weekend, that both Kim and I share those same feelings on and off depending on the day. With the snow and ice keeping us pretty well in our hotel room, we found ourselves with just a bit too much idle time. That idle time led to us thinking too damn much and letting stuff catch up with both of us. The blessing was that we were able to spend time together while we both were going through the tough feelings and it helped to be able to talk it out...for both of us! We know about a dozen types of support groups that are out there that we are sure that can help, but we are finding that the best therapy is talking to each other. So, we each had a good "mini meltdown" and talked it out and made it through!

In the interest of science and this blog... ;) I will try and describe where a "mini-meltdown" comes from. I figure if I can describe it then maybe I will have a little more control over them. They start with old faithful..."Oh Shit, I have brain cancer now what". Then they start rolling to mathematics...life expectancy for people with my type of tumor to the financial planning that I have done for my family, to my business and business partner and the challenges we face with me unable to be 100%. Have I prepared us? Will Kim or my biz be in trouble with me gone? Luckily, I am comfortable on both parts that both will be ok. However, then there is the interim... The Docs won't let me drive, which precludes me from working. Without working, I think too damn much and I risk letting my business partner down. THAT'S IT!!

It simply comes down to my #1 Fear....Letting people down. That is one of my motivators...I don't want to let anyone down from Kim to Jeff to my Family and Friends. So the definition of a mini meltdown is letting all that boil in my head for an hour and then crying my eyes out...then, look myself in the Mirror and say "DAMN YOU TALBOTT, QUIT FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF, GET UP WASH YOUR FACE AND GO OUT THERE AND FIGHT THIS THING... (Ever wonder why I have never been an athletic coach? There's no crying in Football...or Swimming, or Ping Pong....)

So, the weekend was rough, not from a physical standpoint, but from a mental standpoint. Once again, luckily I was with Kim who went through it with me and we both came out stronger.

Thank you for letting me talk this out with all of you. Therapy is now over! :)

As Always for Miss Ava - PEACE OUT!

WEEK THREE ALMOST IN THE BAG!!!

2008-02-14T17:46:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow marks the 1/2 way point! WOO HOO! I have figured out a couple of "tricks of the sick" that help me deal with the minor bitches of the last post!

First trick is to listen to dem smart doctors and take the anti nausea med that I have available to me...

The Second trick- (Now don't try this at home...could be dangerous to your wasteline...) McD's Quarter Pounder with Cheese and Diet Coke right after radiation treatment. :) A much more healthy alternative is a Subway Cold Cut Combo, but I don't suggest getting it at the Subway in Edgerton, WI...the drive is treacherous in the Winter. :)

In all seriousness, I have been feeling much better since Monday! I got to spend some time with my Buddies- Swan and Lyle who each had driver duty this week. It was a blast spending time with them and Lyle and I even did some serious planning for golf season. :)

Kim and I had an amazing Valentine's Day! She took the day off, and drove me up to Madison for treatment! In honor of her, I put on actual pants. I have been wearing sweat pants just about every day and thought I would dress up to impress her, so I put on Jeans! I know, I know you are all thinking how romantic I am. :) In all seriousness, it meant alot to spend Valentines Day with Kim. I truly cherish every moment I get with her and am continuously amazed with how she has handled this life changing experience. She is my rock!

Mentally, I am doing pretty good. I have my up times and down times. These go back and forth all day long and only go negative when I start thinking too much. :) I find myself being very nostalgic. For example, I made a roadtrip CD for Lyle for us to listen too on the way up and back from Madison on Wednesday. Every song on the CD brought up memories and stories from our college days. It was a blast to talk about it. We also spent time talking about some of the sad stories of our past, specifically about a friend that we lost for senseless reasons, and a friend and mentor of both Lyle and I that lost her life to Brain Cancer. I think it was therapeutic for both of us. But honestly, the most therapeutic of all the conversations was talking about darling Ava, his beautiful daughter and someone that Kim and I love to spoil!!! Hearing one of my closest friends and the Best Man in my wedding talk about his daughter just flat out lifts my spirits no matter how I am feeling physically. We have always known that Lyle was going to be a great father, but watching him and Laura - his wife- with Ava is something that just makes you smile - and REALLY HELPS PUT LIFE IN PERSPECTIVE!!!!

Kim and I do not have children by choice, but we are blessed with nieces and nephews that we just love spending time with. ;) and as Uncle Teeb (toddler for Steve) I don't have to change any diapers. :) For Valentine's Day, Kim put special boxes together for the kids and mailed them out to them. It was a great suprise for the kids and they all got a huge kick out of it... Its stuff like that, that Kim and I truly love to do for the kids. Its fun for us and we love to see the reactions. So look out Miss Ava...won't be long and you will be receiving care packages from Aunt Kim and Uncle Teeb! :)

This Cancer experience has really helped me enjoy the little things in life. I truly appreciate ever minute with my friends and family! Its something to cherish and definitely keep in Perspective. "The Big P" something that I learned from Marky P and some of the experiences he has gone through with his youngest boy, but never truly understood until recently. Thank you Mark for unknowingly helping prepare me for this Cancer Experience with learning to keep things in "the Big P-erspective"

People have posted some unbelievably supportive comments and sent me supportive notes telling me that I am handling this in an amazing way, but I am here to tell you that this is nothing amazing...what is amazing is how you naturally handle things when you discover the amazing support group that you have, but never realized. Now that is Powerful to the Mind and the Body!

I have received comments from Alaska to Netherlands to Saudia Arabia! Continuously blows me away.

To my friend and one of the business men that I most respect, Waleed (in Saudia Arabia), Thank you so much for your notes. Hearing from you from across the ocean is truly heart warming. Thank you!

Week 3 is almost in the Bag and I am feeling great! 3 Weeks to go of radiation! Let the countdown begin!

Happy Valentines Everyone! Please cherish the time with your spouse and family - Trust me - It is always Heartwarming! Dump the Drama - Family is everything!

and for Darling Miss Ava - PEACE OUT!!! :)

Dem Doctors Be Smart....

2008-02-11T18:04:00.000-08:00

Ok...it's either this crappy Northern Illinois weather or my doctors are some pretty smart people.

We have been told since day one of treatment that I will have some days of feeling less than 100%. Nothing major, but just some minor bitches...mild headaches and mild nausea...all things that the docs said could happen around the 3rd week of treatment. Imagine that...they are some pretty smart people. It is absolutely nothing major and just enough to make me whiny and turn me into "Needy Steve" :) Now my mother and wife would probably classify this as the way I have handled every typical sickness throughout my life...as a big wuss. :)

So for the past couple days, I have been a big whiny baby, driving my wife nuts! :)

In all seriousness, it was bound to happen. I figure I can take a little bit of feeling like shit after having so little problems in the first 2 weeks of intense chemo drugs and sending daily blasts of radiation to my brain...My body is just saying..."Hey...what the hell are you doing to me?" :)

So, since I am whiny today, I will keep the post short. Just wanted to let you all know that not every day is Sunshine...but I can control my attitude...Just keep me laughing and life is good. So just in case you haven't seen the post by my demented partner, I recommend you take a look at it. Here is the link to the aftermath... www.caveolearning.com/savesteveshair

Have a great week everyone!!!

Snow Days..

2008-02-07T18:20:00.000-08:00

So, we went up to Madison to dodge the storm Tuesday night and we ended up coming home Today, Thursday afternoon... What does that leave in between? SNOW DAY!!! :)

We could have looked at it as being "Stranded" in Madison because the weather was so bad, but Kim and I tend to use the "Rose Colored" lenses whenever possible. First things first, we ask the hotel if we can keep our room for one more night...that would be NO....BUT...we do have an upgrade room available... OH DAMN...Kim and my champagne tastes had to take advantage of that! So, instead of getting stuck on I90 like more than 1000 drivers did Wednesday, Kim and I ordered room service, watched mindless TV on the Flatscreen in our room and napped on the most comfortable bed I have ever slept on in a hotel! Then we had to go hang out in the pool and hot tub. Since I seem to be fond of clichés this evening and "Every Rose has its Thorn", we actually had to go outside and clean the foot of snow off of Kim's car mid-evening. Now everyone can feel bad for us. :)

Seriously though, we had a great time hanging out together and enjoying a Snow Day. We made it to my treatments each day and after tomorrow, I will be 1/3 of the way through radiation!! Woo Hoo!!

Healthwise, I am feeling great! At this point in treatment, I couldn't ask to feel any better. My attitude is fantastic and I am taking the fight to the cancer every day!

I am beginning to understand why some inspirational people like Lance Armstrong that have gone through cancer have seen it as an opportunity as opposed to a death sentence. My eyes have cleared and I am truly able to see what is important in life. To that end, I am focusing on enjoying every minute of it! OPPORTUNITY & LOVE- What turns "Stranded in Madison" into "SNOW DAY!"

Week 2 Off to a Great Start!

2008-02-05T12:00:00.000-08:00

Week 2 is off and running! I was able to accomplish my mission of a "regular" weekend and even enjoy watching the Giants win the Superbowl. My cold has improved 100% and I am feeling pretty good physically. My business partner even came over and spent a couple hours updating me on how the business is going.

Throughout the weekend as I was fighting the cold, one common thought kept coming back to me over and over. The one thing I want more than anything is to feel 100% like me again and to be able to get on with living my life. To beat this disease, I need to LIVE, and not just hang out in a state of flux. So, what does that mean? To me that means ENGAGE. I do not sit back and watch very well. :) That goes from having to be an active participant in my treatments to being mentally engaged in my business. I am unfortunately unable to work during my radiation treatments due to being a sales guy who is unable to drive(Dr.s orders)...not to mention spending more than 1/2 my day up and back to Madison. :) But spending time talking and stategizing with Jeff this weekend was incredibly therapeutic.

So, what is it about work that is so therapeutic? I have always been an incredibly career focused individual. This I can blame on my Parents - They told me at an early age that I had "Champagne Tastes on a Beer Budget" In other words, I always wanted the best new toy, to the best on the menu at Red Lobster. :) So, at an early age, I decided that I would go get the "Champagne Budget" :)

In that never ending quest...of which I have obtained the "Really Cheap Champagne Budget" I learned that I loved small business entrepreneurship! I eat up books by people like Verne Harnish, Patrick Lencioni, Mahan Khalsa, among many many others.

When I joined Jeff as a partner in Caveo Learning & Performance in January, 2006, it was truly a dream come true. I finally had the guts and the opportunity to make the jump to business owner, not just employee. The rush that we have had over the last 2 years has been scary, exciting, and overwhelming. We have grown 300% our first year, and 275% last year in revenue. With growth comes challenges, but throughout it all it has been a complete BLAST! 2008 is going to be an incredible year with tons of opportunities and the same amount of challenges. I am committed to being an active part of that with Jeff!

So when you read about me being fueled by engaging with Jeff on business discussions, hopefully you can understand a fraction of where it comes from. I am living my dream of entrepreneurship and am committed to not letting my clients, or my partner down!!! Having those discussions are healing my mind, if not my body as well.

The 2nd week of Radiation Treatment started with a schedule change. We started with our "circle of support" road crew (I am thinking about getting them all T-Shirts that say TEAM TALBOTT...What do you think. :) ) to shuttle me up to Madison so Kim could go back to work.

My Mom started the shuttle service and was rewarded with more crappy Northern Illinois Weather for the drive up. :) It was nice being able to spend some one on one time with my mom in addition to its therapeutic value. I managed to stay awake on the way up there, but napped on the way back. The treatment yesterday went smoothly and we had new lab work done (a weekly event). Came down with a headache on the way back, but it was handled with tylenol and a nap. The rest of the night went very well and for the first time in more than a month, I slept all the way through the night. YEAH!

Today, I got my wish FEEL LIKE ME AGAIN! From the time I got up until writing this post, I have felt awesome. Swan was my driver today and we had a great time catching up with each other and spending a couple quality hours together. We figured out a trick that can help me avoid the headaches...stop for food right after radiation...food and caffeine.. How can we go wrong? :)

Due to MORE CRAPPY WEATHER on the way tonight, Kim has decided to take tomorrow off and take me up to Madison tonight. We are going to try and avoid the weather and stay at a hotel just outside of the UW Clinics. God Bless her.

As usual, she is my rock and there for me. I may have to have one of you support drivers take me on a short excursion after radiation one day to give me the chance to get something nice for Kim for Valentine's Day...I think she has earned it. :)

Thank you all for your THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS... I truly think they are helping!!!

As Princess AVA puts it best... PEACE OUT!!

1 Week Down 5 to Go!!!

2008-02-01T19:43:00.000-08:00

I have completed my first week of Radiation!! I can't tell you how excited I am that it is the weekend. It means not having to travel up to UW Madision for 2 days. YEAH!!!

Well my whinyness has subsided and my throat is much better. Physically I am feeling pretty good.

After the trip to radiation today, Kim and I completed the last of our paperwork jungle needs...we executed wills and Power of Attorney. The process was painless and less emotional than I thought it would be. I actually feel relieved that we now have everything in order...it won't be needed for many many years, but Kim and I have been wanting to do it for years and we finally got it done.

As another major accomplishment, I spent a couple hours in my office at home going through end of year documents, etc getting prepared for tax season...Oh what a Joy. :)

I do have to admit that spending some time doing busy work like getting ready for tax season was a great mental lift. So I have set out my tasks for this weekend... Following TLC's Clean Sweep reality show concept, I am gutting my office and starting over as of Saturday Morning. Wish me luck. For any of you that have seen my home office, this is more hazardous than all the stuff related to my brain cancer... I COULD BE CRUSHED BY THE MOUNDS OF PAPER!!! :) Wish Me Luck!!!

On the positive side, Kim and I are going on an excursion to Bonnie and Gary's (aka MUFFIN's) to have dinner on Saturday with all of our friends from the cruise and finally go through all of the pictures we all took on the cruise in December. Guaranteed to be a great time. Its impossible to be around this group of friends without constantly laughing, which is exactly what I am looking for this weekend!

Kim and I are truly looking forward to spending a "NORMAL" weekend, the only trouble we are having is trying to figure out what that actually means. :) We will settle for a relaxing weekend, with no Doctors and as much laughing as we can handle, and maybe even a little housekeeping/clean sweeping to go with it. :)

Whining Already!

2008-01-31T18:25:00.000-08:00

Ok...I have only been at this road trip process to Madison every day for 4 days, and already it is getting old. :) The people and the radiation treatments have been fine, but the weather in Northern Illinois and Southern Wisconsin SUCKS! Kim has been a trooper and got me there every day. We have the routine down...we are up by 6am, breakfast and out of the house by 8am, and home by 12:30ish depending on any stops Kim and I have to make....Starting next week, Kim will have to drop me off on her way to work so that My Awesome Crew of Drivers can pick me up and head north no later than 8:00-8:15 each morning depending on weather...woo hoo. My part of the routine is to either sleep on the way up, or the way back... I am such good company. :)

Health wise, I have developed a couple difficulties. The main complaint is throat soreness. I thought it was a side effect of the radiation until I found out that a good portion of my family that I spent some close time with on Sunday has Strep Throat. :) GREAT...Just what I needed... LOL!!!

So other than bitching about my throat being sore and wishing I could do more to help Kim out around the house, and really feeling bad about how hard my partner Jeff has had to work/travel over the last few weeks because of me, I am doing great.

As for the Chemo process, its a good thing that my wife is an ORGANIZATIONAL FREAK!!! :) Due to the medications, I have to make sure I do not eat anything after 8pm, take 1 pill at 9pm and take the Chemo regime at 10pm. This is in addition to morning and evening meds I have to take. I feel like one of those REALLY OLD people that have pill boxes broken out by hour and day...Oh wait, I have one that is layed out for an entire week. If my wife could find a way to attach a buzzer to it and to my nose-or something more painful, I might actually be able to follow it properly. Needless to say, thank God for her and her organization.

Best Day Yet!

2008-01-29T18:39:00.000-08:00

Today has been the best day yet! I have truly felt beter mentally and physically than I have since prior to surgery. Today is the one month anniversary of my surgery. I think starting the treatments yesterday and understanding what it would feel like has released a ton of stress off of my shoulders. I actually woke up this morning and didn't think "oh shit, I have cancer...now what" today I woke up thinking about things going on with my business. What a much more pleasant thought to wake to.

Kim and I went to my radiation treatment scheduled for 10:15am. We arrived about 10:10 and I was done before 10:30 including the following pictures. :) We stuck around to talk with Dr. Mehta and as soon as I told him how I felt, he said Outstanding, I won't keep you...took all of about 1 minute. :)

I thought I would share some pics of my radiation experience to give you an idea of what the experience is like. This first one is my radiation tech team. From Left - Sarah, Susan, Lyndsey. They are super nice and caring individuals who did a great job explaining everything to me, then brought Kim in today so she could take pictures and see the process first hand.

This is a picture of the Radiation machine. It is very similar to an X Ray machine. The machine can move 180 Degrees side to side and front to back. In addition, the table I am laying on moves freely to allow them to put me in the exact position every time. The entire process takes about 10 minutes. The set up includes a ton of mathematical details including the exact size of pillow that goes under my knees. The Techs have to get a specific BS Degree to manage these machines. Pretty amazing.

Here is a pic of my mask from a distance. If you look closely, you can see a piece of tape that is a marking to help the techs line up the machine each time. They target two spots in my head. The right temporal lobe and the top of my head.

I told you in my last post that the mask I wear made me feel like Hannibal from Silence of the Lambs! Today, Kim took a picture to prove it. The purpose of the mask is to help them line up the machine and keep my head in the same position every time. It feels about as funny as it looks. :) I wanted to share it in its raw form because I know my buddies Jeff and Mark are chomping at the bit to put this in Photoshop to have some fun!

As you can see, my attitude is great and I am feeling amazing physically. Here is part of the reason that I feel so great today. Kim took this week off to take me to my treatments which has been great sharing this experience with her, but next week she has to go back to work. We had to reach out to a couple people who offered to help shuttling me up to Madison and back each day. I called Lyle (the sandwich savior from surgery day and one of my closest friends :). And Swan another close friend, and my Mom who would take me up every day if she could....Bless her heart!

Out of the 22 days that we needed help, Lyle and Swan picked up 15 of the days. Blew my mind. It is truly amazing how friends and family have jumped to help me. I can't put in to words how much it means....all I did was tell them what I had open and they sent me a ton of days each that they wanted to do it. I know I have some amazing friends, but this once again just blows me away.

This experience has already taught me the value of family and friends. I will never be able to take family or friends for granted again. It is truly an amazing feeling. Swan and Lyle, just know how much I appreciate what you guys are doing for me. Thank You.

I want to send another thank you to a close Mentor of mine from my NH Days who I know is reading and keeping tabs on me. As you can see, I have taken your advice and overcome my fear and actually asked for help! Thank you Martin B. for opening my mind to that. :) Cheers.

And Treatment Has BEGUN!!!

2008-01-28T18:10:00.000-08:00

Woo Hoo! I started radiation today and will begin Chemotherapy in a few minutes.

We started the day with a meeting with Dr. Ian Robbins, our Medical Oncologist and Diana, the Clinical trial coordinator. They explained the chemo process which is 175mg of Temodar sp? daily. The funny part is that to get to 175mg, I have to take 7 pills. :) You would think they could make that a little easier, but I am not complaining.

We also spent some time drilling Dr. Robbins and Diana on a barrage of questions that we had from exercise, to nutrition. They overwhelminly stressed for us to stay on a normal healthy diet and not go overboard with ANY supplements or special diets. They will be monitoring my bloodwork weekly and will tell me if they want any changes to my diet. They were absolutely emphatic that my diet should stay the same... STARBUCKS STAYS!!!! :) This is a huge relief to me as I had started to READ TOO MUCH and was getting crazy ideas into my head. I much prefer to listen to these doctors, who are significantly smarter than me, and who I have come to trust. They even told my wife to BURN THE DAMN CANCER BOOKS. :) We all laughed. The saying "Being the Smartest Person in the Room" only applies to financial dealings...Let your doctors do what they went to school for 20 years to do. :) I TRULY BELIEVE IN MY DOCS and I am truly comfortable in the treatment environment at UW Madison. I would recommend it to anyone. I actually met some people from Rockford in the Chemo Waiting room that were much further in their treatment and raved about their experiences as well.

Diana said something to us today that really felt good. I asked what the goal of this course of treatment is (again, I have read too much about the stats on Grade 4 Glioblastomas...). Her reply was simple...to make this disease chronic. In otherwords, focus on making this a treatable long term disease like asthma or diabetes. Very realistic goals. Quality of Life will be tremendous and extended indefinitely. That is an excellent goal if I do say so myself!!! Seriously, I really appreciate the way this group/team of Dr.s and Nurses talk to me. They absolutely refuse to quote stats to me because... I am not a statistic, I am an individual. I am Younger than most with this disease and in great general health. Everything is on my side.

They explained that it takes a long time to kill off the cancer cells and that they do not expect any changes and possible even growth immediately after radiation...the explanation is that they are irritating the hell out of my brain for the next 6 weeks and that irritation could look like growth. We will be having occasional MRIs after Radiation, during the 6 to 12 months of chemo cycles. No Growth is what we are praying for. If it stays the same size, that is a good thing. That is important, cause I want to know what I am trying to attain...where am I driving this boat too? :)

After meeing with Dr. Ian and Diana, I went to my first radiation treatment. I will have to get pictures to better explain this process, but the process is similar to a CT Scan or XRay. I lay on a table with a plastic mask form fitted to my face.... (kind of feel like Hannibal Lecter from Silence of the Lambs. :) )

They started by taking X Rays with my mask on to ensure they target the right areas. The target areas are the Right Temporal Lobe - where I had the mass removed, and the top of my head where they found the other mass. They marked up the mask, and had the Radiation Oncologist come in to verify the placements of the marks/targets. They then all left the room, I heard a buzzing for about 30seconds... first wave done... Then the table that I was laying on shifted about 90 degrees so they could get the shot at the top of my head. 30 more seconds of buzzing...then I AM DONE. It truly was that easy. Kim gets to come in to the room tomorrow to observe...We will try and get some pics!!! :)

After the radiation, because this was the beginning of the chemo process, I had to go to where the IV Chemo is adminstered and have an antibiotic infused to me via IV. The process took around two hours and I napped through much of it...thanks to the IV Benedryl that they started me with.

Some great news from Diana and Dr. Ian. They truly do not expect for me to have to deal with many side effects. That is some great news and I truly hope they are right!

So upon finishing the IV, around 4pm, we headed home! In Kim's bag (the size of an overnight bag I might add) is new anti nausea drug, refills of other drugs, and 40 days of chemo pills. All said and done, I spent $63.00. Thanks to this clinical trial, the $50,000.00 worth of chemo meds are free! That is truly a blessing. Dont get me wrong, I am blessed with a great insurance company, but not only do I have an opportunity to get aggressively involved with my course of treatment through this clinical trial, but the meds are free! You can only imagine the amount of stress that has been released from the financial sense knowing this.

So, all in all, a great day. I wrote a new song...it goes like this... 30 Days of Radiation on the Wall, 30 days of Radiation... Take one down, pass it around... 29 Days of Radiation left on the wall... I plan to sing it every day and reduce the number by one until we get to ZERO!!!

Keep your eyes out tomorrow, we will do everything in our power to get some great pics to share, including one of me looking like Hannibal Lecter. :)

Anticipation...

2008-01-27T18:11:00.000-08:00

This title sounds like that Ketchup commercial from years ago. My Anticipation today is that I finally begin my journey of treatment tomorrow morning.

I am suprisingly calm and relaxed about the treatment beginning. I have had a great weekend. Kim and I spent this morning with my family which was great and ended the day having dinner with our friends Craig and Sue, which was a blast as well.

My last post was about cleansing tears and saying some things that needed to be said, but I am finding that Laughter is even better therapy. What sent me down this route of thinking is of course Marky P. If you read the comment by Marky P on my last post, you would think that all we did was drink at Franchescos and we really didn't work that hard during our NH Rockford days, but the truth was, we worked 60 hour weeks and only went to Franny's 5-6 nights per week. :) Between the marketing & business planning that we did on cocktail napkins and the stress relieving laughing we did, we made it through some pretty amazing times! I can always count on Mark for keeping things in perspective and always keeping me laughing...One Time at band camp... :)

If you are running short on laughs, ask Mark to tell you either one of the two most classics jokes every played on a sales guy...Mr. Junior Ops. They are absolute classics and are guaranteed to get you laughing... "The Fake Check", and "The Penny in the Urinal". If I thought I could do them justice, I would attempt to tell them here, but I have no talent in that arena and won't even try. :) but I promise you that even thinking about them today has me laughing!!

As for my current business, my partner Jeff also has a knack for making me laugh. He keeps me laughing on a constant basis. Again, for a sample, ask him to see Jake Mako - the interactive flash cartoon he created about a demented landshark.

For the scariest of comedic collisions, put Jeff and Mark together to write comic articles for our fantasy football league- The SmackTalkers. They definitely live up to the league name and keep us all laughing throughout the season! However, BE VERY AFRAID OF WHAT THEY CAN DO WITH PHOTOSHOP!!!

Most of the time, the best laughs come from the simplest things in life...family. For an immediate and quick laugh, all I need to do is hear the latest tales about my youngest nieces and nephews. The stories are always something that makes me smile and consistently brightens my day! I need to start writing some of these stories down so that I can bring them up at the kids 16th bday parties in several years and do my official job as an uncle and embarass the kids!

So, that is the latest on my therapy regime. I think laughter is truly going to be a great way to carry me through the next 6 weeks of radiation and chemo. I am blessed to have so much around me that keeps me smiling and laughing. Don't be suprised if the next time you see me, I am wearing the hat that Kim has already picked out for me. "I have ChemoBrain, What's YOUR EXCUSE? :) As 13 month old Miss Ava puts it... PEACE OUT!! :)

Tears of a Clown

2008-01-25T08:54:00.000-08:00

The title is a pretty cheesy thought stolen from the title of an 80's Tune, but it fits my mindset today!

I went back and reviewed some of the blog entries and comments that have been posted and I was completely blown away - AGAIN. It amazes me the impact that I have had in my professional career on individuals. I have always believed that you need to treat each person with respect and motivate them individually. When I first started NH Rockford, Mark P and I spent alot of time - at a local pub of course- discussing how we wanted to motivate and build our team of employees. NH Rockford was a pretty amazing organization. We still hold records on revenue development from startup and per capita sales. All of that had to do with the team that we built. As Marky P puts it, it was the first organization that any of us have been involved in that truly had everyone rowing the boat in the same direction. :)

The thing that really stuck with me today was a post from MJ Wilcox, one of the best instructors that I have ever worked with. I can't seem to get it out of my mind today, so I will share it with all of you.

mjwilcox said...
Steve, I remember clearly the day at New Horizons that I failed my first (and only) Microsoft exam. I remembering walking into your office feeling like I had been defeated, but when I walked out I felt like I could conquer the world. Your encouraging words gave me confidence that has stayed with me, and I haven't failed a single test since that day. You had such a positive effect on me and gave me the confidence to know that I would succeed with whatever challenge I was faced. Put simply, you believed in me. I see this positive and inspirational attitude being returned to you a hundred times over. You have a large circle of friends who are here to support you, walk with you during this journey, and believe in YOU. You are in my thoughts and prayers often.

To even think that I have had the ability to touch people like that makes everything that I have done in my life worthwhile. It makes the fight that I am facing now worth it. In reading the book by Lance Armstrong that I mentioned in an earlier post, he says something that originally floored me "Given a choice between cancer and winning the Tour de France, I'd choose the cancer. What I mean is that I wouldn't have learned all I did if I hadn't had to contend with the cancer. " - Lance Armstrong "It's Not About the Bike, My Journey Back to Life"

After thinking about MJs post and the mental review of what I have done in my life and what I still plan to do, I finally understand. My forthcoming battle with cancer has forced me to appreciate the outstanding life that I have led, and more importantly have left to lead. From my professional life and the individuals that I have helped grow their careers to the lifelong friends I have made, to the family that I am so thankful for, to my wife who is my life and keeps me going every day!

With that in mind, I have a big thank you that I want to share. This is for my Father- Bill. He adopted my sister and I after marrying my Mom when I was around 12-13 yrs old. I was a little shit of a preteen at that time and he was firm with me. This I can promise you. If it wasn't for him, I would have never gone to college, finished college, or gotten my Masters Degree. In other words, I owe much of my professional career to him for the way he raised me and I will forever be thankful to him for that. I have never been able to express that to him verbally, but I truly hope he knows it. Dad, Now that the jello that was my brain when I was 13 has been removed, I am able to understand the value of what you gave me. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You! :)

It goes without saying that the rest of my family has had a huge impact on me as well, such as my Mom who has laughed with me, cryed with me, and slapped me upside the head helping me get my head out of my ass. :) I have always had a special relationship with her and it has carried me through so many key events in my life. My brother Kevin who helped me so much as a teen understand what the hell my Dad meant with some of his punishments (the jello was definitely in the way at that time) to giving me someone to look up to and push me to achieve more. To my sister who put up with me mercilessly torturing her while I babysat her and who now I am so proud of the woman and mother that she has become. Thank you and I love you all.

I apologize for the sentimental post today, but between MJs post and the Armstrong book, I have spent alot of time thinking about my life. I can promise you this. I am more committed than ever to doing everything within my power to survive this battle!

They tell me tears are cleansing...after this, I should be pretty well cleaned out. :)

The Healing has begun!

2008-01-23T06:58:00.001-08:00

Ok...here is a pic as of this morning of my surgery scar. As you can see, you can hardly tell that a little over 3 weeks ago, they removed a 3" tumor from my temporal lobe.

It just blows me away how quickly this has healed! I figure that if I can heal this quickly from a 12 hour surgery, that I can definitely handle this Radiation and Chemo stuff!!

Just a quick note, one of the side effects of the radiation is that I will lose my hair. Keep in mind, I haven't started the radiation yet. :) That would be the side effect that I am least worried about. Kojak, here I come! :)

As life has begun to return to normal and the waiting game has begun for my treatment (starts 1/28) I have been thinking about what normal life was like. My mind immediately jumps to two areas, one is getting back to work, which keeps me challenged and the other is the vacation that Kim and I were on 2 weeks before this all happened. We went on a cruise with 3 other couples. Our longtime hockey friends and us went on a 7 day cruise to the Southern Carribean. It was an amazing vacation. We went to Aruba, Curacao, St. Maarten, St. Thomas/St. Johns. We snorkeled at one of the most beautiful places in the world, Trunk Bay, St. Johns, in addition to Aruba. Kim was able to make a new friend Sandra at her new favorite jewelry store in St. Maarten, and we spent a week constantly laughing with our great friends. Before the trip, I got a new digital camera. I took 138 pictures and have about 4 good ones. :) I am not a strong photographer.

I am sharing some of these pictures for a couple reasons. 1. They truly make me remember great times, and 2. I thought you all might enjoy something other than my scar. :)

My wife, Kim looking stunning (as usual) on one of the formal nights on the ship. Just one more time, this woman has been absolutely amazing throughout this entire ordeal. Between her, my family, and my friends, I am truly the luckiest guy in the world.

The Sunset as the ship leaves Aruba. WOW! Not a bad pic for a hack of a wanna be photographer. :)

The wanna-be photographer, studying hard!!!

The entire crew enjoying the beach at Curacao! Thank you guys so much. Remembering the laughs and the good times of this trip keeps me going. Not to mention, that Kim and I have to go back to visit her new jeweler friend in St. Maarten!!! I vote for a return trip in late 2008 after I have kicked this cancer crap into remission!

Here is the last pic I will force upon you. :) This is truly the best pic I took during the entire trip and is what I believe to be one of the most beautiful places in the world! It is Trunk Bay on St. Johns U.S.V.I. It is an amazing place and is now the background on all of my computers. I hope you enjoy! Thanks for listening/reading my babble today!

New Day, New Attitude

2008-01-19T17:25:00.000-08:00

After my downer post yesterday, I wanted to share my great day today.

Now that my health is improving post surgery, my biggest challenge is keeping my head straight. A couple things have happened recently to help me get my head around things. First was the meeting yesterday with the radiation techs. They really helped my fears alot. Then during dinner with Jeff and Mendy, they gave me a gift for my Birthday. It is a Book by Lance Armstrong "It's Not About the Bike, My Journey Back to Life" I started reading it today and what a great story! Thank you Jeff and Mendy.

Today, Kim and I wanted to get out of the house for a while so we went into town to do a little shopping and decided to stop by to see Lyle, Laura, and their adorable Daughter Ava. What a great way to lift your spirits. Hang out and play with a 13 month old little princess. On top of that, they gave me a gift of some great books and an Angel of Prayer. Now, to receive this from Laura really means alot. This will probably only make sense to a few of you but, Laura and I used to work together many many years ago and religion used to be a common discussion. I have never been a very religious person, but Laura has always been a devote Catholic. We used to have debates and it made for some great conversations- I actually learned alot. After an experience like what I have gone through, it does test your faith. I have had a ton of people tell me that they are praying for me and that truly means alot to me. And after knowing Lyle and Laura for all of these years, recieving that gift from them really touched me. Thank You!

So, overall, I had a great day. Kim and I spent alot of time together, bought some curtains, and we got to spend time with Ava and our friends...what more could I ask for.

1st Treatment Scheduled

2008-01-18T16:07:00.000-08:00

Had a tough start to the day mentally. It is my birthday, which had me a little down to begin with, then my wife gets me the most beautiful card that literally made me breakdown and cry.
In addition, I had an appointment scheduled at UW Madison today to get "fitted" for the radiation treatment, which had me anxious and a little scared. However, my day got significantly better as it went on. It started with an absolutley hilarious ecard from my friend Mark P. That was followed up by a trip to the chiropractor that really helped my back, and a stop at Flatlanders for a Coffee and chat with Rocco, Sally, and Jan.

Kim came home around 11am and we began the trek to Madison. Once we got there, I met with the Clinical Trial Coordinator who informed me that I am in the trial! Yeah! She then had to give me a cognitive battery of tests as part of the trial...My memory has always sucked but she said I did well anyway. :) I was then fitted for my "Radiation Mask" which is a mask that I wear during the radiation to ensure they target the right spots. The process was pretty simple and the radiation techs were great. They did a great job of addressing my fears and giving me a lot of good information on side effects, etc..

I am now scheduled to begin my radiation and chemo treatments 1/28/08. I will be in radiation for 5 days per week for 6 weeks and be taking oral chemo every day for 6 weeks. We then take a 4 week break to heal and then begin the Chemo Trial for 6 months. I will be able to do that from home and only have to go to Madison about once a month. That's when we kick this thing into remission and resume the rest of my LIFE!!!! As you can see, my attitude has definitely improved since meeting with the Techs. I am feeling good and looking forward to getting this process started.

As a matter of fact, Kim and I are even going out to dinner for my birthday with my business partner Jeff and his wife Mendy who have been awesome throughout this process except for his smart ass comment from the other day. :)

Have a great weekend everyone and thank you so much for the positive thoughts and prayers. They are truly helping!

We Have a Plan!

2008-01-15T15:45:00.001-08:00

We went back up to UW Madison today to meet with Dr. Minesh Mehta. He is a world renown expert in my type of tumor. We met with him last week and he wanted to run a bunch of tests. Today we went over the tests and determined a course of action.

1. UW reran the pathology of the tumor and confirmed the original findings of a grade 4 glioblastoma multiforme.
2. The MRI Confirmed that Dr. Crute did an excellent job removing the bulk of the tumor, but due to the nature of the tumor, there is abnormalities in other parts of my brain that have to be attacked with Radiation.

THE PLAN

1. We will start with a 6 week (5 days/week) course of radiation focused on my entire brain to attack any remnants of tumor.
2. In conjunction, I will be taking an oral course of chemotherapy (a pill) every day (7 days/week) throughout the course of the radiation 42 days.
3. We decided to enter a clinical trial for the chemotherapy. The clinical trial will begin 4 weeks after my first course of chemo and radiation. Depending on which "arm" of the trial I will be in (random) I will get one of two courses. Course 1 is 5 days of Chemo per 28 days for 6 months, course 2 is 21 days of chemo per 28 days for 6 months. We decided and the doctors encouraged us to consider this trial because of my age and general good health. I make a good candidate and I am committed to taking an aggressive course to attack this disease!

I go back to UW Madison for the Radiation Planning Session on Friday. This is where they set up the machine and create a special mask for me to wear. Once we complete that, we will schedule the first sessions of Radiation. I will be going up to UW every day M-F at the same time every day. The radiation takes only about 30 minutes, with about 1 hour each way commute. We have had a ton of offers to help with travel, which has been wonderful and after we figure out how I react, we will take people up on some of those offers.

My back has improved dramatically and I am feeling generally better. I am excited that we finally have a plan of attack and are going to start soon. I have started reading up on side effects of both the radiation and chemo, and am a little nervous about them. However, everyone reacts different and the Dr.s have lots of options to help me deal with them. The most common one will be fatigue. Luckily I work from home and can take breaks often.

SOME THANK YOUs

I have to take a minute to thank a few people that have been amazing for me throughout this process.

First my wife, Kim...she has been my ROCK. She has been amazing. From helping me get up to managing my drugs, to getting me to and from appts, to just sitting with me and helping me through the pain, to helping me cope with my overall mental health.

Thank you to my parents who have been with me every step of the way including multiple trips to UW. Thank you to my Brother and Sister who keep me sane with phone calls. It is great to have the support that I have. I am truly blessed.

Thank you to my business partner Jeff and his wife Mendy! They have been awesome. From taking care of the dogs to babysitting me to most importanly keeping our business running! I could not have lucked out with a better business partner.

Thank you to Mark Patrick! He has been my communication conduit to the world! Not only does he keep me laughing, his positive energy and relentless drive to notify people for me is amazing. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

Thank you to the entire crew who spent the majority of 12 hours at the hospital during my surgery. You know who you are and I really appreciated it! From what I understand, Lyle truly saved the day with Jimmy Johns for the entire group to make sure they ate! Thanks!

Thank you to everyone that have sent cards and baskets...Thank you all!!!

And really thank you to each and every one of you that have sent me your thoughts and prayers. I have not been able to thank you all individually, but I truly truly appreciate it.

I have had such an amazing outpouring of positive thoughts and prayers that it is truly impossible to thank everyone. Just know that I really appreciate it and your thoughts and prayers have fueled my recovery and continue to fuel my attitude and mental health to allow me to tackle the disease!

Almost Back to Normal!

2008-01-14T14:10:00.001-08:00

Great day today! Kim went back to work after being home with me for the last 2 weeks. My back has improved 1000% and is almost back to normal. A few more days and I think I will be in great shape.

I was happy to be able to sit down in my home office and spend some time cleaning up my email. I had almost 300 messages in my inbox. Thank you to all of you that sent me positive thoughts and prayers. They are definitely appreciated!

Tomorrow, we head up to UW Madison to meet with the Oncology Team again. Last week they ran some tests, including a new MRI and new pathology. They wanted to recheck everything before giving their recommendations. So tomorrow they should be able to give their recommendation. We have a couple options including a clinical trial that involves the dosage of chemotherapy and frequency. The trial has some pretty impressive early results and it sounds like a viable option, but, we will learn alot more tomorrow.

I can't start therapy (radiation or chemo) until 3-6 weeks post surgery. The earliest that I will start will be Jan 21, but more reasonably it will be Jan 28th.

I am feeling absolutely great today both mentally and physically! Looking forward to hearing what the Drs have to say tomorrow and even more excited to get started on the treatment. The sooner I start,the sooner I can knock this into remission!!

I will try an update everyone tomorrow with what the Drs say. Wish me luck! :)

Getting out of the House!

2008-01-13T06:28:00.001-08:00

I was able to go on an excursion Saturday! YIPPEE!! Little things excite you when you are immobilized from back pain. :)

Kim and I went up to her Sister Lori's house to attend my niece Stephanie's 16th Birthday Party!! It was great to get out of the house and reengage in some normal life activities. We were only able to stay a couple hours, but it was great to be able to visit with family outside of clinics and hospitals.

As for the back pain, it is slowly getting better. I was able to get some decent sleep last night, only waking up 3-4 times. As long as I walk often without overdoing, the spasms stop. If I spend too long in one position, the muscles lock up.

In general, I am feeling really good. It is amazing to me that my biggest complaint after 12 hours of brain surgery is back pain. Thankfully, I can feel it getting better every day!

Today, Kim and I are going to do our Grocery Shopping and CostCo Trip! Believe it or not, I am excited about it! :) It gets me out of the house! The best part is I get to drive one of those electric carts around the grocery...(If you are in the area of Woodmans in Algonquin today, be very afraid!) - I am an Excellent Driver....NOT. -Rainman I am not. :) )

Week 2 - Post Surgery Review

2008-01-12T05:19:00.000-08:00

Today marks 2 weeks since my surgery. I have been home for a week and recovery is well underway.

The week started with some terrible back pain. Apparently 12 hours on an operating room table and 6 days in a hospital bed can be detrimental to you back alignment. :) I have gone to the chiropractor several times this week and for the first time since I have been home, I had a reasonable night's sleep and was able to get up, shower, and get my breakfast by my self. Its nice to be able to let Kim sleep a little. She has been getting up 4-5 times a night with me to address issues with my back.

Last Tuesday, we had our first Dr. Appointment with the local radiation oncologist. Dr. Das Gupta. He walked us through his recommended treatment plan. The standard plan would be 6 weeks - 5 days a week of Radiation on the entire brain area in conjunction with Oral Chemo. The chemo would be 5 days of pills followed by 4 weeks off for 6-7 months. Dr. Das Gupta was very good. We talked to him about second opinions, and he highly recommended that we get one. His recommendation was Minesh Mehta from UW Madison, who is world-renowned expert on brain tumors.

UW is ranked very high in the Oncology Community as a center of excellence. Dr. Das Gupta studied under Mehta and was able to get us an appt on Thursday of last week (which was amazing).

So, Thursday - my Mom, Dad, Kim and I trekked up to UW Madison to meet with Dr. Mehta. The drive was actually not too bad only about 1:15.

UW Madison was very impressive. They have a pretty amazing team of drs. Dr. Mehta was awesome. He had reviewed my case and agreed with Dr. Das Gupta on the plan of treatment. He did have an alternative solution that we are exploring as well. Apparently there is a clinical trial involving the Oral Chemo that I may be eligible for. It would basically entail a lower dose, longer term pill. The initial results have been impressive 2 years post treatment.

Dr. Mehta wanted to dig more into my case and ordered an MRI and a review of the pathology of my Tumor. We went back to UW last night to do the MRI and have a follow up appt with him on Tuesday.

So after our next appt with Dr. Mehta on Tuesday, Kim and I will be making some decisions on which treatment plan we will do. Treatment can't start until 3-6 weeks post surgery (they want you to be fairly healed from the surgery before beginning the radiation and chemo) I expect that treatment will begin either the 21st or 28th of January.

So, in general, I am feeling better and am mentally ready to tackle the treatment plan. Kim and I were definitely impressed with UW Madison and are looking forward to the next appt.

How this saga began

2008-01-11T07:25:00.000-08:00

12/27/2007-

For the last couple weeks I had been having lightheadedness/dizziness when I would stand from a sitting position. It was occasional, so I wasn't too alarmed by it. I have occasional back problems and thought it was related to my back, so I set up an appointment at a local Chiropractor in Marengo. It was my first appt with this Dr, so he went through a thorough assessment of my back. It took about an hour. When I left, I went home. I was not feeling that great, so I layed down to see if it would get better. As soon as I layed down, nausea took over and vaulted me to the bathroom. Dizziness and Nausea was a big clue that I needed to go to the doctor immediately. I went to the Dr. Office and told them my symptoms. They immediately thought I had a common inner-ear infection. To confirm this, he wanted me to go to the ER and get a CT Scan. Obviously, I couldn't drive so the Doc had to call my wife at work in Rockford (about 25 miles away).

Kim came and picked me up and took me to the ER at ST. Anthony's Hospital in Rockford. After about 3 hours of waiting, we finally got into an ER room. Per the Doc's order, I had a CT Scan around 6pm that night. This is where it gets interesting and surreal...

The ER Doc comes into the ER Room about 30 min after I had the CT and the Radiologist had read the CT Scan. With the bedside manner of a Toad, he starts the conversation with " I Have Some Really Bad News....You Have TUMOR! and we are admitting you". Let me tell you, hearing that was like getting slapped in the face with a frying pan.

The doc paged a Neurosurgeon Dr. Crute to consult on my case. It took an additional several hours for her to come in, but she has been amazing. I spent the rest of Thursday night getting admitted to a room in Neuro and having a barage of tests including MRIs taken on me.

Friday Morning, Dr. Crute came through on rounds to explain what they found. They found a 7 centimeter (3 inch) mass in my right temporal lobe. The mass was called and AVM or A Vascular Malformation. Without treatment, the mass would have killed me. We decided the only option was for Dr. Crute to do a craniotomy and transect the mass. They also found a secondary smaller mass on the top of my head, but decided against transecting it due to the risks of key motor issues in the brain. The Surgery was scheduled for Saturday Morning and I began the process of "Getting my Affairs in Order".

I went into surgery around 8:30 Saturday Morning and 11 Hours, 38 minutes later, I woke up to the beautiful site of my wife and family! I was conscious and lucid. In my mind a complete success. My biggest fear was not being lucid.

January 11, 2008 - Beginning Post - Who am I?

2008-01-11T07:02:00.000-08:00

Welcome to my Blog. My name is Steven Talbott. I am a 38 year old sales consultant that up until 2 weeks ago was reasonably healthy individual.

Before I get into the chronology of my cancer fight, I will give you a little background on me.

I am married to a wonderful women, Kimberly Talbott, we have no kids, but 3 wonderful dogs. We live in Marengo, IL. Marengo is about 50 miles west of Chicago, IL. Kim is a special education administrator for a local school district west of us, and I co-own a business called Caveo Learning & Performance.

My extended family is fairly close to home.
Kim's parents, and her sisters, live in the area as well. We are blessed with more than a dozen nieces and nephews on her side of the family and enjoy spending time and spoiling the kids whenever possible.

Kim and I are pretty career committed individuals and enjoy our jobs and what we do. Our main hobbies include anything boating or water related and golf whenever we are able. We have been married for 10 years this last June and our life in general is very blessed and Happy.

The purpose of this blog is to give a chronological documentation of my fight with Brain Cancer. My goal is to fight this disease with positive attitude and humor. I will post as often as possible with updates on my progress and my fights. I am sure I will have some amazing challenges ahead, but am committed to going after this with all that I am. I welcome your comments and hope to feed off of the positive energy from this exercise. Ultimately in the future, I hope this blog will be able to inspire others to fight this disease and win! I am incredibly competitive, so I don't know how to give up or stop fighting! I will beat this disease and I welcome you along for the ride.