Gratitudes

"Gratitude is an attitude where the mind and the heart unite in sincere appreciation. Throughout life, we experience great victories along with serious challenges. It is as though the good and the bad are in a constant battle to capture our thinking. In moments of clarity we remember… In all things be grateful… for as long as we live, we learn. That is what makes us better!" -Doyle Slayton

2008- My year of gratitudes

As you can imagine, I have alot to be thankful for. With Thanksgiving upon us, I feel compelled to share some of these thank you's to some people that have had an unbelievable impact on my life this year. Bare with me, but I need to list many of you out by name!

Dr. Zaheer- For having the foresight to recognize my symptoms as more than just an "inner ear infection" and send me to the hospital.

Dr. Crute- For your amazing skills as a surgeon and unending compassion that has proven to be one of the top reasons that I am still here.

Michelle- For the compassion that you brought into my room every day while I was in the hospital and taught me what Hope is all about.

Dr. Mehta & Dr. Robbins - Your team approach proves why you are ranked with the best in the world. You designed my Radiation and Chemo treatments to drive the success that I am having today and I am eternally grateful.

Jeff- For being there to support not only our business, but my family. There are no words that can adequately express my gratitude.

Marky P - For pulling together the greatest support group I could have imagined, creating a night to remember, and most importantly, for being there. It means more than I can say.

Lyle & Swan - For countless trips to Madison, reuniting old friendships, road tunes, and laughter. When I needed it most, you were both there. Enough Said.

Kim- For being my rock. It is what it is and we will deal with it - Together! A simple statement, but it has carried us both through the worst of times.

And so many more! From my family, to the amazing Talbott support group, to the nursing staffs, techs, and others at all of the medical facilities that I have been to in the last year, to those of you that encourage me with your comments on this blog. You have all been a huge part of my recovery!

My life is full of things to be thankful for, and I am sure by this point, you are thankful that his post is almost complete. :)

I could not let this Thanksgiving go by without sharing with you a small sample of how full of richness my life is because of all of these gratitudes. I am a better person because of what I have gone through and because of the people that have enriched my life in so many ways. For that, I am grateful! In these tough economic times, it is easy to forget all the things that we have to be thankful for, but this year has taught me to cherish every moment and believe in HOPE.

GOT HOPE? Share it with those you love!

Happy Thanksgiving to all, I wish you and your families a truly happy holiday.

Perspective is everything

David Bailey is a 30 something brain tumor survivor of over 12 years, and a musical artist. I have blogged about him before, his inspiration and music has been a big part of helping me keep my attitude positive. Here are two samples of David's work...His first song, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhtHtURCIFs and a poem he recorded recently http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVW2YdbKlmE&feature=related

This week David had a serious scare. He had another 8 centimeter mass removed on Thursday. He and his mother notified his fans via email. The first one announced that he had the tumor, the second announced the surgery date, and the third one gave us the results. He came out of the surgery great and should be home by Monday.

It was a strange and sad feeling when I heard the news. I have gotten to know this man through his music, and continue to lean on his music when I am in need. Watching him go through this scare from afar after 12 years as a survivor was a little rattling to say the least.

Selfishly, I thought back to my ordeal last December, which has been bouncing around in my head, avoiding the "switch" all week. Will a tumor come back to me? Is this what my life is going to be like? Will I have to deal with this forever? If it comes back, will I be able to fight it again?

Today, he sent an email personally to his fans, and I want to share it with you... This is why he inspires, he is known as the "Hope Guy" for a reason!!

I wasn't ready for another scar
I guess none of us ever are
They seem to take too long to heal
And as they do there's too much to feel
Scars are ugly - but can be fine
They only speak of some of the time
And yet they do also suggest
The passing of another test
The worst kind of test to take
Is one that lets your spirit break

I did not expect the weeping
Bless my soul this scar's for keeping
And when you see it, know this, friend
Although it's large, it's not the end
Fall down seven times, get up eight
Even if you hesitate.

A friend told me that hope's still alive.
Enough to wipe tears from your eyes?
you better believe it.

david m. bailey11-22-08

So, if that shit ever comes back to me, will I be able to fight it...YOU ARE DAMN RIGHT I WILL. "Fall Down seven times, and get up eight, even if you hesitate!" Those words will stick with me. Thank You David.

I would love to say that I am positive every minute of every day, but that would be a lie. The fear comes in waves and hits me like a brick, but all it takes is something like reading David's poem above to snap me out of it.

It is people like him, and the thoughts and prayers of all of you that show me that Hope is still alive. With Thanksgiving approaching, it is not hard to imagine what I am thankful for. Today, I am thankful for David Bailey's continued life and inspiration! Thank you David and congratulations on a successful surgery. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

More on Thanksgiving thoughts to come this week...I have a hell of a lot to be thankful for!

Peace Out!

The Hearts of Angels

I had to write tonight. I have been witness to an Angel at work...My niece Brianna.

I was wowed by her school program honoring veterans with my dad as one of the honorees earlier this week, but what she has done this weekend for a school project truly has me speechless.

Her project was to write a 5 paragraph "Story" about "a tomorrow". I have copied it below as it was written.

Here it is word for word:

Oh no! I just heard my Uncle Steve is in the hospital! This is so horrible!!!! How could this ever happen?! He has stage 4 brain cancer. His tomorrow is in danger.

When I heard the news, I started crying. I couldn't help it! He was so healthy. He is in the hospital right now. He already had his surgery. He has a scar shaped like a C. My brother and I always pray for him at night. We can't visit him now because I am sick. Soon we will visit him.

My Uncle Steve is still in the hospital. We keep trying to make him feel better with pictures, and drawing funny stuff, and coloring pictures. Alot of people visit him, like family and friends. We still haven't visited him yet. I can't wait to feel better so I can see him.

We finally saw my Uncle Steve today. He still has cancer. Almost every 2 months Uncle Steve has an MRI. He is still healthy and happy.

The lesson I learned from Uncle Steve's cancer is don't give up and keep trying. With a bit of support from your family, your tomorrow will be good and filled with love.

Wow! Brings tears to my eyes every time I read it.

Thank you Brianna. Thanks to you, my tomorrow will definitely be good and filled with love!!

It never ceases to amaze me...the power I get every day from the support of others - family and friends, and every once in a while...beautiful words from an angel.

--Brianna, if I have any pull with your teacher, you will get an "A" ! :)

Veteran's Day/MRI Day...

Veteran's Day

Thank you to all of our men and women of the military, past and present. We appreciate what you have done for us. Thank you to my Dad for his service to the Navy, to our Country in WWII, and to our family. Today is Veteran's Day, a day to thank everyone that has served in the armed services, and for me, another chance to thank my Dad for his part in making me who I am. Thank You Dad!

MRI Day

Sing along with me.... "It's off to see the wizard...the wonderful wizard of the tube" (ie MRI)... We knew it was going to be a great day for my 5th Post Radiation MRI. Kim had the day off, we had to go to Madison, and the forecast was for SNOW/RAIN Mix...yippee yippee. :)

So we got up early and started our trek north...turns out...it was worth the hassle.

To sum up the MRI results, I will phrase it the way Dr. Ian did... ROCK SOLID! Ok so to work down my checklist of living... Get a clean bill of health from my 5th Post Radiation MRI, and begin my 9th (of 12) cycles of Chemo... CHECK!, CHECK! WOO HOO!

Short Post tonight, but I wanted to pass on the good news and say thanks!

Peace Out!

Oops I forgot...

My apologies for not writing this entire month! I got caught up in that living thing again... I get so caught up in living that I sometimes forget that I have brain cancer. :) Oh isn't that just too bad! :)

Seriously, I have been feeling great! I bitch and moan about allergies, but my Mom and my Wife just write that off to me being a whiner...which could be a little true..."Big Damn Baby" I think is the term often used about me. :) And last time up to Madison, they even got Dr. Robbins in on the act...He asked my Mom if "I whined alot" and after my Mom stopped laughing, she informed him that I have a "low threshhold for pain"

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Talbott Time Machine circa 25 yrs ago, aka the "Jello Brain" years

Now the story on this goes back to middle school and AYSO Soccer games. My parents were convinced that I was a Drama Queen and every time I would get hit, I would fall to the ground and writhe with pain...In reality, it is because it probably hurt. Now granted, my father is allergic to all pain meds and in addition to walking up hill barefoot both ways to school, only gets to bite on a silver bullet for pain...in otherwords...he has a very high threshold for pain. Both my Mom and Kim fight Migraines and can function with headaches, etc... Me....HELL NO...GIVE ME DRUGS AND KNOCK MY ASS OUT! Hence...I accept it...I have a low threshhold for pain. :) Now back to your regularly scheduled program.

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Ok...back to current day. Things have been going great. I was just matched up by Jonny Imerman (Imerman Angels) with a young woman who at 36 was diagnosed with a GBM and her husband. They are just beginning the Chemo phase with Temodar and Jonny thought I would be a match to connect with. I am really looking forward to being able to share my experiences, my attitude, and the perspective that each of you have helped me to develop! She is just beginning the fight with this disease and I hope that I am able to help them both through this challenging time!

So, although I haven't written lately, and I keep getting myself all caught up in this business of living...realize that all of you collectively known as the "Talbott Support Group" have created something special in me that I fall back on often to guide me through dark times.

Thank You all again!

PEACE OUT!

Dr.s and Angels

After every MRI, I am supposed to meet with my Neurosurgeon, Dr. Crute. These meetings as I have blogged before are always uplifting. I met with her on Monday and this time was no exception. First and foremost, she pointed out the Hippocampus and I was shocked that it wasn't a little guy in a furry costume (see last 2 entries to get the joke. :) )

Dr. Crute was fantastic as usual, she explained that she was late getting to our appt because she had to spend so much time looking at the MRIs, she is still just amazed that I am as stable as I am considering the tumor that I had. She looked and looked and couldn't find any changes...how cool is that! We talked about the future and that future keeps getting further and further out. Yeah! I like the sound of that.

As an added bonus, I was finally able to see Michelle, Dr. Crute's surgical nurse/PA who I haven't seen since I left the hospital. Now there is significance to that fact. I have not really blogged about Michelle before, but let me tell you she was a savior of mine. She was the one person who consistently checked on my several times a day at the hospital. She was the first person who told me NOT TO BELIEVE THE BULLSHIT that the house resident gave me about "getting my things in order" and I had 6-18 months. For that, I owe Michelle alot. She helped get my head around my diagnosis (no pun inteneded). So it was really cool to see her. I ran up and gave her a great big hug! I get emotional just thinking about it. Thanks Michelle!

That emotion was met with more emotion as I had the opportunity to connect directly with Jonny Imerman. Jonny is a mid 20's 6+ year survivor of testicular cancer and the founder of Imerman Angels, which is an organization that matches one on one cancer fighters with cancer survivors for mentoring and support. As I relived the story of my quest through cancer treatment, I got emotional as I told him about the "night to remember" event that you all through for me with Marky P at Cliffbreakers. I explained to him that I don't know how I would have every made it to the point I am at now without the love and support of my amazing wife Kim, my family, and my support group...YOU!

Jonny started this organization to help people who don't have that love and support. Jonny has added me to the list to help another Brain Tumor patient on a one on one basis. I can't wait to pass on the learning that I have had, the inspiration that I have received from Dr. Crute, and Michelle, and most of all the love and support that I have received from each and every one of you! It's now time to Pay it Forward.

PEACE OUT!

For those of you reading this that may have been touched personally by cancer in your lives, I encourage you to reach out to Imerman Angels, they can match you with someone that has survived your cancer and can help you do the same. www.imermanangels.com or call Rynell Cook at (312) 274-5529. There is no cost, just help.

If you want to help in another way, please consider donating, and donate in honor of your loved one who is fighting this horrible disease called cancer.

Getting Involved!!

I have recently had the opportunity to connect with other brain tumor survivors through a couple different online services. One is through a LinkedIN group called Immerman Angels. The Imerman Angels are a group of people dedicated to the support of people with cancer. Here is a blurb straight from their website...(http://www.imermanangels.org/)

Imerman Angels connects a person fighting cancer today ("cancer fighter") with someone who has beaten the same type of cancer ("cancer survivor"). The relationship provides a fighter the opportunity to ask personal questions and receive encouragement from someone who is uniquely familiar with the situation. The relationship provides a survivor the opportunity to personally help a fighter as he or she battles the disease

I found these guys and joined their online group, while in the normal course of business using an online networking tool called LinkedIN, which in essence is the MYSpace or Facebook for business networking.

What a great organization and concept. As I have been going through this treatment & healing process, I have been blessed with an amazing support team. A group of people that keep me strong, keep me fighting, and keep me sane! What I have found is that not everyone has the amazing level of strength of a support group that I do.

I can't imagine facing the battle OF and FOR your life without support!

I am in the process of becoming one of Immerman's Angels. I want to be able to directly connect with people that are fighting the same Cancer that I am fighting. I want to be able to channel the power that each of you have given me to give to others.

As you can see, I am extremely excited about this opportunity. I have wanted to give back by working with other Cancer Fighters. I have finally found a way to do that in a one on one basis!

I will find out more about the organization and the process to get involved over the next week. I will let you know what I find. Wish me luck, as this could be the way to share the power that each of you gave me with others who are in need.

Thank you to all who have given me the strength to get to this point!

Check these guys out...its a pretty cool organization! http://www.imermanangels.org/

Peace Out!

PS. By the way, I know the first thing I will share with other CANCER Fighters...How to get around...the "Cool Way" SCOOTERS RULE!