I will start today with a health update. Had my first MRI since starting the Avastin treatment. Dr. Robins was pleased with what he saw. The Avastin is doing what it is supposed to. YEAH! So I continue with biweekly treatments and MRIs every 8 weeks. I am feeling good and glad to get some good news.
The real purpose of this post is to discuss a show that I just watched on CBS that triggered a "switch" in my mind. The show was "Live for the moment" and hosted by the Survivor host Jeff Probst. The show was a week in the life of someone who has ALS or Lou Gehrig's disease. He was given the opportunity to do some amazing things that he always wanted to do. It was an obvious Made for TV program, but it moved me none the less.
I have done a good job burying reality deep in my mind. I put on my game face and pretend that I don't have Brain Cancer. I go around living my life oblivious to my surroundings and often taking for granted how much my wife Kim does for me every day. Let me try and put this into words. My last surgery was a tumor resection. during the surgery, I had what my Neurosurgeon described as a "Bleed" which basically means that it was unexpected bleeding that they had to deal with on the fly. Now there are two types of strokes...those caused by a blockage and those caused by a bleed. In other words, I had a minor stroke in the operating room.
The idea that I had a stroke at 40 was hard for me to grasp. I had obvious left side deficits and am told I still have a little droop on my left side when I am tired. After several weeks of speech, physical, and occupational therapy, I have recovered remarkably well and am doing great, but I am realizing that I still have some deficits. The deficits are mainly short term memory issues. Now I have been aware of these issues and have learned some great techniques like - Write shit down Dumbass! :) However, this is where I tend to take things for granted.
Let me start with Kim is everything to me. I not only love her, but I am in love with her. Kim has a very demanding job both during the day and in the evenings. That is who we are...work-a-holics. We love what we do and it helps to define who we are.
That is the simple part. The hard part is that I often unknowingly take advantage of her. If I sit back and am honest with myself, I rely on Kim for damn near everything...from keeping me current on my medications, to cooking and all in all being Lead CareGiver for me. This with a 60hr/wk job and a gimpy husband who doesn't use his head and help around the house and use the tools he learned to overcome some of his deficits..i.e: Write shit down dumbass!
So with Valentine's Day coming up I want to take a minute to acknowledge what my wife does for me. I couldn't do it without her! If you have seen strength in me over the last two years with how I am handling my life with Brain Cancer, I assure you it is really her keeping me standing.
Kim- You are my everything and I don't know what I would do without you. Thank you for everything that you do every day. It is all appreciated more than you will ever know. Thank You and I Love You!
To all of you....don't take anything for granted! Live for the Moment!
Peace Out!
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4 comments:
What a great post, Steve. I think that many of us take most of what we have for granted and your post motivates me to keep what is most important in the forefront of my mind. Thank you.
Glad the results were good news, now that I am past this week's new training in Carlsbad, I want to talk about the ABTA walk in May...Let's kick it's ass!
Love you guys!
Marky P
Thanks for your encouraging words! My husband is 6 months post diagnosis. He's still doing temodar treatments at this time and doing fairly well. God Bless you and your wife. Like you, we try to live each day to the fullest!
THC kills cancer cells but leaves healthy cells alive.
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