First and foremost, thank you Mark and Gil. Your thoughts on the switch really hit home. Thinking about the people that are praying for me is incredible and may just be the Switch that I needed to find! Thank you. Worse case, I will go exercise, cause I don't want to get my butt kicked by Mom either. :)
Starting tomorrow, I go into "Boost" Phase of Radiation, which as it is explained to me is the same dose, just more concentrated at the spot where the tumor was/is. This phase lasts Thurs/Fri of this week and all week next week. Then I am done with Radiation. Woo Hoo!!
Beginning March 8th, I begin what I am seeing as a new phase in my life...Post Radiation...
I will have 1 month free of chemo, then start the chemo phase of treatment. That phase will last 6-12 months with MRIs every 8 weeks to check on progress. This leads to the next phase in my life - POST CANCER!!!
So now that I have a switch to refer back to, my thoughts and actions are now beginning to focus on creating a new normal.
But, what is normal? What do I want that to be? In essence, who do I want to be? This is going to be an ongoing process. I realize that my life has to change to some degree and will continue to change as I move through the phases of recovery.
I can tell you that there are some absolutes and principles that are automatic. Here are Talbott's New Living Absolutes and 5 Rules. For my NH Friends, you will see some familiarities.
1. Never Look Back except to Celebrate! Life is forward!
2. Spend more time with my wife, my family, and my friends. This experience has made it perfectly clear how important you all are in my life. I am blessed and I plan to take full advantage of that blessing!
3. Be a productive partner for my business. Get myself healthy so I can get back to work in any capacity that I can! Find a way and Make It Happen!
4. Give back! I have been given so much, I will find a way to give back to others. If I can use this experience to inspire or help another human dealing with pain or disease, then it will all be worth it!
5. Live every moment. Live!
6. Never Forget Absolute #1 or Absolute #5 for that matter :)
Talbott's 5 Personal Rules/Principles
1. I must be the first thing I work on everyday. Are you Green and Growing or Ripe and Rotting?
2. I get strong by making the strong stronger.
3. Anything that adds to or multiplies is good, anything that subtracts from or divides is bad.
4. Multiply yourself by teaching others- Two steps forward, reach back and Pull
5. Enthusiasm is the window to a person's personality!
The funny thing about both sets of these rules and absolutes is that the majority of them were written down by me in 1997 in a document that I have maintained as Talbott's Personal Manual. They have been a simple list of how I wanted to live my life with a number of added principles for how I wanted to run my business. I compiled it a couple months after I got involved with my first small business, Innovative Training Solutions. Now with how my life has changed, the principles have become even more powerful!!!
This list of principles was titled by a quote by an unknown author, but still means alot to me. "A man who can control himself, is more worthy than a man who can control an army" So, Mom, I am using my braincells to beat this Cancer! Braincells and the power of positive thought!
So, as I begin to develop my new Normal, I wanted to share my new outlook with you all. Feel free to keep me honest! Thank you all for your support and inspiration through your prayers, comments, and positive thoughts! Never forget Absolute #1.
As always PEACE OUT!
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Sunday, February 24, 2008
In search of the "Switch"
4 weeks down and only 2 weeks to go with Round 1 of Treatment. Healthwise, I have been feeling great. My latest emotional quest is that of finding the "Switch"
The switch is not something scientific about Cancer or even the How or Why Me about the Cancer. Those two questions do not bother me in the least...It is what it is!
The switch that I am looking for is that damn switch in my brain that will turn off me thinking about it all the damn time. I am able to occupy myself for short periods of time, but my brain like a big magnet will swing back to thinking about the fact I have cancer and all of the related issues - "see mini meltdown minus the tears". I have always had a little attention issue, but this is just getting ridiculous. I can't keep my mind off of it and is pissing me off. I am stronger than this. I can understand lying in bed awake thinking about what I need to do at work or issues related to that, but laying around wallowing in something that I have absolutely no control of is flipping stupid.
I think the challenge is the downtime that I have coming to me. After March 7th, I have 4 weeks of no radiation, and no chemo. It is a time to let me heal before starting my 6-12 month regimen of chemo. They do one CT scan after 1 month but flat out tell me that they don't expect to see ANY results...its too early. So, I have to sit around for a month, without being able to work - to wait and see a CT scan that will tell me nothing and maybe even show growth/swelling, which dem smart doctors say is to be expected and is in no way bad news, just standard. It will be another 6 months before I really know anything and that thought just sits in my head like a really bad QT Burrito (Uncle Nicks for you Rockfordians) does in your stomach after a rough night at the Bar! :)
So, I do not feel mentally bad, just frustrated. I have never been a patient person, especially in business, and waiting months for results is so hard for me to get my arms around. That and I am a huge control freak and can't control a damn thing in this process. This is where I am supposed to say EXCEPT MY ATTITUDE, but for that to happen, I have to find this DAMN SWITCH! :) So, if anyone knows where the hell the switch is...(other than at the bottom of a bottle of Bacardi- that's off limits for me for now. :) )....Please let me know! :)
Peace Out!
The switch is not something scientific about Cancer or even the How or Why Me about the Cancer. Those two questions do not bother me in the least...It is what it is!
The switch that I am looking for is that damn switch in my brain that will turn off me thinking about it all the damn time. I am able to occupy myself for short periods of time, but my brain like a big magnet will swing back to thinking about the fact I have cancer and all of the related issues - "see mini meltdown minus the tears". I have always had a little attention issue, but this is just getting ridiculous. I can't keep my mind off of it and is pissing me off. I am stronger than this. I can understand lying in bed awake thinking about what I need to do at work or issues related to that, but laying around wallowing in something that I have absolutely no control of is flipping stupid.
I think the challenge is the downtime that I have coming to me. After March 7th, I have 4 weeks of no radiation, and no chemo. It is a time to let me heal before starting my 6-12 month regimen of chemo. They do one CT scan after 1 month but flat out tell me that they don't expect to see ANY results...its too early. So, I have to sit around for a month, without being able to work - to wait and see a CT scan that will tell me nothing and maybe even show growth/swelling, which dem smart doctors say is to be expected and is in no way bad news, just standard. It will be another 6 months before I really know anything and that thought just sits in my head like a really bad QT Burrito (Uncle Nicks for you Rockfordians) does in your stomach after a rough night at the Bar! :)
So, I do not feel mentally bad, just frustrated. I have never been a patient person, especially in business, and waiting months for results is so hard for me to get my arms around. That and I am a huge control freak and can't control a damn thing in this process. This is where I am supposed to say EXCEPT MY ATTITUDE, but for that to happen, I have to find this DAMN SWITCH! :) So, if anyone knows where the hell the switch is...(other than at the bottom of a bottle of Bacardi- that's off limits for me for now. :) )....Please let me know! :)
Peace Out!
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Just Call Me Stubblehead!
Mark's Early 2000 Rendition. :)
Ok, so it was bound to happen...the Save Steve's Hair campaign has failed. :) I finally lost the fight with the clippers and buzzed my hair off. :) Good thing my head is fairly symmetrical.
Back in our NH Days, Marky P and I held a contest with our sales people. If they hit a certain number in sales, they would get to shave my head. So Mark with his demented sense of humor created flyers with a picture of me that he Photoshop altered to make me bald- Included above. After 7 years, I finally resemble that picture. :) At least I knew what to expect.
My hair was finally thinning on the right side of my head (where they shoot the radiation, and where dem smart doctors said it would fall out) I figured I was starting to look lopsided and figured what the hell. Its not like I haven't shaved my head before anyway...(See...Stupid High School Swimmer Tricks) or as my Dad would put it...Jello Brain.
Let me tell you...my morning prep time has dropped dramatically...no more need for that shampoo stuff or the hours of primping to get my Friar Tuck look just right.. Just Soap Rinse, and dry...woo hoo.
Halfway through week 4 and I see a light at the end of the Tunnel...and its NOT A TRAIN!!!
The last two days have actually been good on the roads and I have been able to spend more time with Swan and Lyle. I continue to enjoy the drive with these guys as we spend alot of time reminiscing and laughing which continued this week. Its amazing how much laughing helps you feel better mentally and physically!
Met with Dr. Mehta (Radiation Oncologist Extraordianare) today for my weekly check up. Took all of 3 minutes. He says all my bloodwork looks great and I am tolerating the radiation very well! I told him I studied hard for that test. :) Healthwise, I am doing really well. I have to take a nap usually every day... (I know you are all jealous) which dem smart doctors said would happen...but otherwise, I am feeling really good. Now if I can just motivate myself to get some exercise I will be even better!
On another note, I had a really great thing happen to me today! My buddy Marky P, who I refer to often in this blog is coming to visit! It has been a while since I have seen him - he does live a couple thousand miles away. I am really excited to see him. He wants to take Kim and I out to dinner to celebrate the end of Radiation and just to catch up. That truly made my day. Can't wait to see ya brother!! I hope to be able to return the favor and come out to play some golf with you next month and see MA and the BOYZ!!!
And thank you to everyone for your comments on this blog and the personal notes I have recieved via email. They truly mean alot!!!
Peace Out!! (from Miss Ava and I!)
Back in our NH Days, Marky P and I held a contest with our sales people. If they hit a certain number in sales, they would get to shave my head. So Mark with his demented sense of humor created flyers with a picture of me that he Photoshop altered to make me bald- Included above. After 7 years, I finally resemble that picture. :) At least I knew what to expect.
My hair was finally thinning on the right side of my head (where they shoot the radiation, and where dem smart doctors said it would fall out) I figured I was starting to look lopsided and figured what the hell. Its not like I haven't shaved my head before anyway...(See...Stupid High School Swimmer Tricks) or as my Dad would put it...Jello Brain.
Let me tell you...my morning prep time has dropped dramatically...no more need for that shampoo stuff or the hours of primping to get my Friar Tuck look just right.. Just Soap Rinse, and dry...woo hoo.
Halfway through week 4 and I see a light at the end of the Tunnel...and its NOT A TRAIN!!!
The last two days have actually been good on the roads and I have been able to spend more time with Swan and Lyle. I continue to enjoy the drive with these guys as we spend alot of time reminiscing and laughing which continued this week. Its amazing how much laughing helps you feel better mentally and physically!
Met with Dr. Mehta (Radiation Oncologist Extraordianare) today for my weekly check up. Took all of 3 minutes. He says all my bloodwork looks great and I am tolerating the radiation very well! I told him I studied hard for that test. :) Healthwise, I am doing really well. I have to take a nap usually every day... (I know you are all jealous) which dem smart doctors said would happen...but otherwise, I am feeling really good. Now if I can just motivate myself to get some exercise I will be even better!
On another note, I had a really great thing happen to me today! My buddy Marky P, who I refer to often in this blog is coming to visit! It has been a while since I have seen him - he does live a couple thousand miles away. I am really excited to see him. He wants to take Kim and I out to dinner to celebrate the end of Radiation and just to catch up. That truly made my day. Can't wait to see ya brother!! I hope to be able to return the favor and come out to play some golf with you next month and see MA and the BOYZ!!!
And thank you to everyone for your comments on this blog and the personal notes I have recieved via email. They truly mean alot!!!
Peace Out!! (from Miss Ava and I!)
Monday, February 18, 2008
Snow Days X 2 (Getting Real)
Welcome to the Tundra. Thanks to the weather, Kim and I spent another two days in Madison this weekend. :)
As someone who is fighting brain cancer, I believe the worst thing that I can do is have a bunch of idle time....cause I tend to Think TOO DAMN MUCH. But as Kim and I realized this weekend, there are just times that it hits both of us. Kim and I have coined it "when things get real". Those are the days that you wake up and go "Oh Shit...I have brain cancer...now what". Well I found out this weekend, that both Kim and I share those same feelings on and off depending on the day. With the snow and ice keeping us pretty well in our hotel room, we found ourselves with just a bit too much idle time. That idle time led to us thinking too damn much and letting stuff catch up with both of us. The blessing was that we were able to spend time together while we both were going through the tough feelings and it helped to be able to talk it out...for both of us! We know about a dozen types of support groups that are out there that we are sure that can help, but we are finding that the best therapy is talking to each other. So, we each had a good "mini meltdown" and talked it out and made it through!
In the interest of science and this blog... ;) I will try and describe where a "mini-meltdown" comes from. I figure if I can describe it then maybe I will have a little more control over them. They start with old faithful..."Oh Shit, I have brain cancer now what". Then they start rolling to mathematics...life expectancy for people with my type of tumor to the financial planning that I have done for my family, to my business and business partner and the challenges we face with me unable to be 100%. Have I prepared us? Will Kim or my biz be in trouble with me gone? Luckily, I am comfortable on both parts that both will be ok. However, then there is the interim... The Docs won't let me drive, which precludes me from working. Without working, I think too damn much and I risk letting my business partner down. THAT'S IT!!
It simply comes down to my #1 Fear....Letting people down. That is one of my motivators...I don't want to let anyone down from Kim to Jeff to my Family and Friends. So the definition of a mini meltdown is letting all that boil in my head for an hour and then crying my eyes out...then, look myself in the Mirror and say "DAMN YOU TALBOTT, QUIT FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF, GET UP WASH YOUR FACE AND GO OUT THERE AND FIGHT THIS THING... (Ever wonder why I have never been an athletic coach? There's no crying in Football...or Swimming, or Ping Pong....)
So, the weekend was rough, not from a physical standpoint, but from a mental standpoint. Once again, luckily I was with Kim who went through it with me and we both came out stronger.
Thank you for letting me talk this out with all of you. Therapy is now over! :)
As Always for Miss Ava - PEACE OUT!
As someone who is fighting brain cancer, I believe the worst thing that I can do is have a bunch of idle time....cause I tend to Think TOO DAMN MUCH. But as Kim and I realized this weekend, there are just times that it hits both of us. Kim and I have coined it "when things get real". Those are the days that you wake up and go "Oh Shit...I have brain cancer...now what". Well I found out this weekend, that both Kim and I share those same feelings on and off depending on the day. With the snow and ice keeping us pretty well in our hotel room, we found ourselves with just a bit too much idle time. That idle time led to us thinking too damn much and letting stuff catch up with both of us. The blessing was that we were able to spend time together while we both were going through the tough feelings and it helped to be able to talk it out...for both of us! We know about a dozen types of support groups that are out there that we are sure that can help, but we are finding that the best therapy is talking to each other. So, we each had a good "mini meltdown" and talked it out and made it through!
In the interest of science and this blog... ;) I will try and describe where a "mini-meltdown" comes from. I figure if I can describe it then maybe I will have a little more control over them. They start with old faithful..."Oh Shit, I have brain cancer now what". Then they start rolling to mathematics...life expectancy for people with my type of tumor to the financial planning that I have done for my family, to my business and business partner and the challenges we face with me unable to be 100%. Have I prepared us? Will Kim or my biz be in trouble with me gone? Luckily, I am comfortable on both parts that both will be ok. However, then there is the interim... The Docs won't let me drive, which precludes me from working. Without working, I think too damn much and I risk letting my business partner down. THAT'S IT!!
It simply comes down to my #1 Fear....Letting people down. That is one of my motivators...I don't want to let anyone down from Kim to Jeff to my Family and Friends. So the definition of a mini meltdown is letting all that boil in my head for an hour and then crying my eyes out...then, look myself in the Mirror and say "DAMN YOU TALBOTT, QUIT FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF, GET UP WASH YOUR FACE AND GO OUT THERE AND FIGHT THIS THING... (Ever wonder why I have never been an athletic coach? There's no crying in Football...or Swimming, or Ping Pong....)
So, the weekend was rough, not from a physical standpoint, but from a mental standpoint. Once again, luckily I was with Kim who went through it with me and we both came out stronger.
Thank you for letting me talk this out with all of you. Therapy is now over! :)
As Always for Miss Ava - PEACE OUT!
Thursday, February 14, 2008
WEEK THREE ALMOST IN THE BAG!!!
Tomorrow marks the 1/2 way point! WOO HOO! I have figured out a couple of "tricks of the sick" that help me deal with the minor bitches of the last post!
First trick is to listen to dem smart doctors and take the anti nausea med that I have available to me...
The Second trick- (Now don't try this at home...could be dangerous to your wasteline...) McD's Quarter Pounder with Cheese and Diet Coke right after radiation treatment. :) A much more healthy alternative is a Subway Cold Cut Combo, but I don't suggest getting it at the Subway in Edgerton, WI...the drive is treacherous in the Winter. :)
In all seriousness, I have been feeling much better since Monday! I got to spend some time with my Buddies- Swan and Lyle who each had driver duty this week. It was a blast spending time with them and Lyle and I even did some serious planning for golf season. :)
Kim and I had an amazing Valentine's Day! She took the day off, and drove me up to Madison for treatment! In honor of her, I put on actual pants. I have been wearing sweat pants just about every day and thought I would dress up to impress her, so I put on Jeans! I know, I know you are all thinking how romantic I am. :) In all seriousness, it meant alot to spend Valentines Day with Kim. I truly cherish every moment I get with her and am continuously amazed with how she has handled this life changing experience. She is my rock!
Mentally, I am doing pretty good. I have my up times and down times. These go back and forth all day long and only go negative when I start thinking too much. :) I find myself being very nostalgic. For example, I made a roadtrip CD for Lyle for us to listen too on the way up and back from Madison on Wednesday. Every song on the CD brought up memories and stories from our college days. It was a blast to talk about it. We also spent time talking about some of the sad stories of our past, specifically about a friend that we lost for senseless reasons, and a friend and mentor of both Lyle and I that lost her life to Brain Cancer. I think it was therapeutic for both of us. But honestly, the most therapeutic of all the conversations was talking about darling Ava, his beautiful daughter and someone that Kim and I love to spoil!!! Hearing one of my closest friends and the Best Man in my wedding talk about his daughter just flat out lifts my spirits no matter how I am feeling physically. We have always known that Lyle was going to be a great father, but watching him and Laura - his wife- with Ava is something that just makes you smile - and REALLY HELPS PUT LIFE IN PERSPECTIVE!!!!
Kim and I do not have children by choice, but we are blessed with nieces and nephews that we just love spending time with. ;) and as Uncle Teeb (toddler for Steve) I don't have to change any diapers. :) For Valentine's Day, Kim put special boxes together for the kids and mailed them out to them. It was a great suprise for the kids and they all got a huge kick out of it... Its stuff like that, that Kim and I truly love to do for the kids. Its fun for us and we love to see the reactions. So look out Miss Ava...won't be long and you will be receiving care packages from Aunt Kim and Uncle Teeb! :)
This Cancer experience has really helped me enjoy the little things in life. I truly appreciate ever minute with my friends and family! Its something to cherish and definitely keep in Perspective. "The Big P" something that I learned from Marky P and some of the experiences he has gone through with his youngest boy, but never truly understood until recently. Thank you Mark for unknowingly helping prepare me for this Cancer Experience with learning to keep things in "the Big P-erspective"
People have posted some unbelievably supportive comments and sent me supportive notes telling me that I am handling this in an amazing way, but I am here to tell you that this is nothing amazing...what is amazing is how you naturally handle things when you discover the amazing support group that you have, but never realized. Now that is Powerful to the Mind and the Body!
I have received comments from Alaska to Netherlands to Saudia Arabia! Continuously blows me away.
To my friend and one of the business men that I most respect, Waleed (in Saudia Arabia), Thank you so much for your notes. Hearing from you from across the ocean is truly heart warming. Thank you!
Week 3 is almost in the Bag and I am feeling great! 3 Weeks to go of radiation! Let the countdown begin!
Happy Valentines Everyone! Please cherish the time with your spouse and family - Trust me - It is always Heartwarming! Dump the Drama - Family is everything!
and for Darling Miss Ava - PEACE OUT!!! :)
First trick is to listen to dem smart doctors and take the anti nausea med that I have available to me...
The Second trick- (Now don't try this at home...could be dangerous to your wasteline...) McD's Quarter Pounder with Cheese and Diet Coke right after radiation treatment. :) A much more healthy alternative is a Subway Cold Cut Combo, but I don't suggest getting it at the Subway in Edgerton, WI...the drive is treacherous in the Winter. :)
In all seriousness, I have been feeling much better since Monday! I got to spend some time with my Buddies- Swan and Lyle who each had driver duty this week. It was a blast spending time with them and Lyle and I even did some serious planning for golf season. :)
Kim and I had an amazing Valentine's Day! She took the day off, and drove me up to Madison for treatment! In honor of her, I put on actual pants. I have been wearing sweat pants just about every day and thought I would dress up to impress her, so I put on Jeans! I know, I know you are all thinking how romantic I am. :) In all seriousness, it meant alot to spend Valentines Day with Kim. I truly cherish every moment I get with her and am continuously amazed with how she has handled this life changing experience. She is my rock!
Mentally, I am doing pretty good. I have my up times and down times. These go back and forth all day long and only go negative when I start thinking too much. :) I find myself being very nostalgic. For example, I made a roadtrip CD for Lyle for us to listen too on the way up and back from Madison on Wednesday. Every song on the CD brought up memories and stories from our college days. It was a blast to talk about it. We also spent time talking about some of the sad stories of our past, specifically about a friend that we lost for senseless reasons, and a friend and mentor of both Lyle and I that lost her life to Brain Cancer. I think it was therapeutic for both of us. But honestly, the most therapeutic of all the conversations was talking about darling Ava, his beautiful daughter and someone that Kim and I love to spoil!!! Hearing one of my closest friends and the Best Man in my wedding talk about his daughter just flat out lifts my spirits no matter how I am feeling physically. We have always known that Lyle was going to be a great father, but watching him and Laura - his wife- with Ava is something that just makes you smile - and REALLY HELPS PUT LIFE IN PERSPECTIVE!!!!
Kim and I do not have children by choice, but we are blessed with nieces and nephews that we just love spending time with. ;) and as Uncle Teeb (toddler for Steve) I don't have to change any diapers. :) For Valentine's Day, Kim put special boxes together for the kids and mailed them out to them. It was a great suprise for the kids and they all got a huge kick out of it... Its stuff like that, that Kim and I truly love to do for the kids. Its fun for us and we love to see the reactions. So look out Miss Ava...won't be long and you will be receiving care packages from Aunt Kim and Uncle Teeb! :)
This Cancer experience has really helped me enjoy the little things in life. I truly appreciate ever minute with my friends and family! Its something to cherish and definitely keep in Perspective. "The Big P" something that I learned from Marky P and some of the experiences he has gone through with his youngest boy, but never truly understood until recently. Thank you Mark for unknowingly helping prepare me for this Cancer Experience with learning to keep things in "the Big P-erspective"
People have posted some unbelievably supportive comments and sent me supportive notes telling me that I am handling this in an amazing way, but I am here to tell you that this is nothing amazing...what is amazing is how you naturally handle things when you discover the amazing support group that you have, but never realized. Now that is Powerful to the Mind and the Body!
I have received comments from Alaska to Netherlands to Saudia Arabia! Continuously blows me away.
To my friend and one of the business men that I most respect, Waleed (in Saudia Arabia), Thank you so much for your notes. Hearing from you from across the ocean is truly heart warming. Thank you!
Week 3 is almost in the Bag and I am feeling great! 3 Weeks to go of radiation! Let the countdown begin!
Happy Valentines Everyone! Please cherish the time with your spouse and family - Trust me - It is always Heartwarming! Dump the Drama - Family is everything!
and for Darling Miss Ava - PEACE OUT!!! :)
Monday, February 11, 2008
Dem Doctors Be Smart....
Ok...it's either this crappy Northern Illinois weather or my doctors are some pretty smart people.
We have been told since day one of treatment that I will have some days of feeling less than 100%. Nothing major, but just some minor bitches...mild headaches and mild nausea...all things that the docs said could happen around the 3rd week of treatment. Imagine that...they are some pretty smart people. It is absolutely nothing major and just enough to make me whiny and turn me into "Needy Steve" :) Now my mother and wife would probably classify this as the way I have handled every typical sickness throughout my life...as a big wuss. :)
So for the past couple days, I have been a big whiny baby, driving my wife nuts! :)
In all seriousness, it was bound to happen. I figure I can take a little bit of feeling like shit after having so little problems in the first 2 weeks of intense chemo drugs and sending daily blasts of radiation to my brain...My body is just saying..."Hey...what the hell are you doing to me?" :)
So, since I am whiny today, I will keep the post short. Just wanted to let you all know that not every day is Sunshine...but I can control my attitude...Just keep me laughing and life is good. So just in case you haven't seen the post by my demented partner, I recommend you take a look at it. Here is the link to the aftermath... www.caveolearning.com/savesteveshair
Have a great week everyone!!!
We have been told since day one of treatment that I will have some days of feeling less than 100%. Nothing major, but just some minor bitches...mild headaches and mild nausea...all things that the docs said could happen around the 3rd week of treatment. Imagine that...they are some pretty smart people. It is absolutely nothing major and just enough to make me whiny and turn me into "Needy Steve" :) Now my mother and wife would probably classify this as the way I have handled every typical sickness throughout my life...as a big wuss. :)
So for the past couple days, I have been a big whiny baby, driving my wife nuts! :)
In all seriousness, it was bound to happen. I figure I can take a little bit of feeling like shit after having so little problems in the first 2 weeks of intense chemo drugs and sending daily blasts of radiation to my brain...My body is just saying..."Hey...what the hell are you doing to me?" :)
So, since I am whiny today, I will keep the post short. Just wanted to let you all know that not every day is Sunshine...but I can control my attitude...Just keep me laughing and life is good. So just in case you haven't seen the post by my demented partner, I recommend you take a look at it. Here is the link to the aftermath... www.caveolearning.com/savesteveshair
Have a great week everyone!!!
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Snow Days..
So, we went up to Madison to dodge the storm Tuesday night and we ended up coming home Today, Thursday afternoon... What does that leave in between? SNOW DAY!!! :)
We could have looked at it as being "Stranded" in Madison because the weather was so bad, but Kim and I tend to use the "Rose Colored" lenses whenever possible. First things first, we ask the hotel if we can keep our room for one more night...that would be NO....BUT...we do have an upgrade room available... OH DAMN...Kim and my champagne tastes had to take advantage of that! So, instead of getting stuck on I90 like more than 1000 drivers did Wednesday, Kim and I ordered room service, watched mindless TV on the Flatscreen in our room and napped on the most comfortable bed I have ever slept on in a hotel! Then we had to go hang out in the pool and hot tub. Since I seem to be fond of clichés this evening and "Every Rose has its Thorn", we actually had to go outside and clean the foot of snow off of Kim's car mid-evening. Now everyone can feel bad for us. :)
Seriously though, we had a great time hanging out together and enjoying a Snow Day. We made it to my treatments each day and after tomorrow, I will be 1/3 of the way through radiation!! Woo Hoo!!
Healthwise, I am feeling great! At this point in treatment, I couldn't ask to feel any better. My attitude is fantastic and I am taking the fight to the cancer every day!
I am beginning to understand why some inspirational people like Lance Armstrong that have gone through cancer have seen it as an opportunity as opposed to a death sentence. My eyes have cleared and I am truly able to see what is important in life. To that end, I am focusing on enjoying every minute of it! OPPORTUNITY & LOVE- What turns "Stranded in Madison" into "SNOW DAY!"
We could have looked at it as being "Stranded" in Madison because the weather was so bad, but Kim and I tend to use the "Rose Colored" lenses whenever possible. First things first, we ask the hotel if we can keep our room for one more night...that would be NO....BUT...we do have an upgrade room available... OH DAMN...Kim and my champagne tastes had to take advantage of that! So, instead of getting stuck on I90 like more than 1000 drivers did Wednesday, Kim and I ordered room service, watched mindless TV on the Flatscreen in our room and napped on the most comfortable bed I have ever slept on in a hotel! Then we had to go hang out in the pool and hot tub. Since I seem to be fond of clichés this evening and "Every Rose has its Thorn", we actually had to go outside and clean the foot of snow off of Kim's car mid-evening. Now everyone can feel bad for us. :)
Seriously though, we had a great time hanging out together and enjoying a Snow Day. We made it to my treatments each day and after tomorrow, I will be 1/3 of the way through radiation!! Woo Hoo!!
Healthwise, I am feeling great! At this point in treatment, I couldn't ask to feel any better. My attitude is fantastic and I am taking the fight to the cancer every day!
I am beginning to understand why some inspirational people like Lance Armstrong that have gone through cancer have seen it as an opportunity as opposed to a death sentence. My eyes have cleared and I am truly able to see what is important in life. To that end, I am focusing on enjoying every minute of it! OPPORTUNITY & LOVE- What turns "Stranded in Madison" into "SNOW DAY!"
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Week 2 Off to a Great Start!
Week 2 is off and running! I was able to accomplish my mission of a "regular" weekend and even enjoy watching the Giants win the Superbowl. My cold has improved 100% and I am feeling pretty good physically. My business partner even came over and spent a couple hours updating me on how the business is going.
Throughout the weekend as I was fighting the cold, one common thought kept coming back to me over and over. The one thing I want more than anything is to feel 100% like me again and to be able to get on with living my life. To beat this disease, I need to LIVE, and not just hang out in a state of flux. So, what does that mean? To me that means ENGAGE. I do not sit back and watch very well. :) That goes from having to be an active participant in my treatments to being mentally engaged in my business. I am unfortunately unable to work during my radiation treatments due to being a sales guy who is unable to drive(Dr.s orders)...not to mention spending more than 1/2 my day up and back to Madison. :) But spending time talking and stategizing with Jeff this weekend was incredibly therapeutic.
So, what is it about work that is so therapeutic? I have always been an incredibly career focused individual. This I can blame on my Parents - They told me at an early age that I had "Champagne Tastes on a Beer Budget" In other words, I always wanted the best new toy, to the best on the menu at Red Lobster. :) So, at an early age, I decided that I would go get the "Champagne Budget" :)
In that never ending quest...of which I have obtained the "Really Cheap Champagne Budget" I learned that I loved small business entrepreneurship! I eat up books by people like Verne Harnish, Patrick Lencioni, Mahan Khalsa, among many many others.
When I joined Jeff as a partner in Caveo Learning & Performance in January, 2006, it was truly a dream come true. I finally had the guts and the opportunity to make the jump to business owner, not just employee. The rush that we have had over the last 2 years has been scary, exciting, and overwhelming. We have grown 300% our first year, and 275% last year in revenue. With growth comes challenges, but throughout it all it has been a complete BLAST! 2008 is going to be an incredible year with tons of opportunities and the same amount of challenges. I am committed to being an active part of that with Jeff!
So when you read about me being fueled by engaging with Jeff on business discussions, hopefully you can understand a fraction of where it comes from. I am living my dream of entrepreneurship and am committed to not letting my clients, or my partner down!!! Having those discussions are healing my mind, if not my body as well.
The 2nd week of Radiation Treatment started with a schedule change. We started with our "circle of support" road crew (I am thinking about getting them all T-Shirts that say TEAM TALBOTT...What do you think. :) ) to shuttle me up to Madison so Kim could go back to work.
My Mom started the shuttle service and was rewarded with more crappy Northern Illinois Weather for the drive up. :) It was nice being able to spend some one on one time with my mom in addition to its therapeutic value. I managed to stay awake on the way up there, but napped on the way back. The treatment yesterday went smoothly and we had new lab work done (a weekly event). Came down with a headache on the way back, but it was handled with tylenol and a nap. The rest of the night went very well and for the first time in more than a month, I slept all the way through the night. YEAH!
Today, I got my wish FEEL LIKE ME AGAIN! From the time I got up until writing this post, I have felt awesome. Swan was my driver today and we had a great time catching up with each other and spending a couple quality hours together. We figured out a trick that can help me avoid the headaches...stop for food right after radiation...food and caffeine.. How can we go wrong? :)
Due to MORE CRAPPY WEATHER on the way tonight, Kim has decided to take tomorrow off and take me up to Madison tonight. We are going to try and avoid the weather and stay at a hotel just outside of the UW Clinics. God Bless her.
As usual, she is my rock and there for me. I may have to have one of you support drivers take me on a short excursion after radiation one day to give me the chance to get something nice for Kim for Valentine's Day...I think she has earned it. :)
Thank you all for your THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS... I truly think they are helping!!!
As Princess AVA puts it best... PEACE OUT!!
Throughout the weekend as I was fighting the cold, one common thought kept coming back to me over and over. The one thing I want more than anything is to feel 100% like me again and to be able to get on with living my life. To beat this disease, I need to LIVE, and not just hang out in a state of flux. So, what does that mean? To me that means ENGAGE. I do not sit back and watch very well. :) That goes from having to be an active participant in my treatments to being mentally engaged in my business. I am unfortunately unable to work during my radiation treatments due to being a sales guy who is unable to drive(Dr.s orders)...not to mention spending more than 1/2 my day up and back to Madison. :) But spending time talking and stategizing with Jeff this weekend was incredibly therapeutic.
So, what is it about work that is so therapeutic? I have always been an incredibly career focused individual. This I can blame on my Parents - They told me at an early age that I had "Champagne Tastes on a Beer Budget" In other words, I always wanted the best new toy, to the best on the menu at Red Lobster. :) So, at an early age, I decided that I would go get the "Champagne Budget" :)
In that never ending quest...of which I have obtained the "Really Cheap Champagne Budget" I learned that I loved small business entrepreneurship! I eat up books by people like Verne Harnish, Patrick Lencioni, Mahan Khalsa, among many many others.
When I joined Jeff as a partner in Caveo Learning & Performance in January, 2006, it was truly a dream come true. I finally had the guts and the opportunity to make the jump to business owner, not just employee. The rush that we have had over the last 2 years has been scary, exciting, and overwhelming. We have grown 300% our first year, and 275% last year in revenue. With growth comes challenges, but throughout it all it has been a complete BLAST! 2008 is going to be an incredible year with tons of opportunities and the same amount of challenges. I am committed to being an active part of that with Jeff!
So when you read about me being fueled by engaging with Jeff on business discussions, hopefully you can understand a fraction of where it comes from. I am living my dream of entrepreneurship and am committed to not letting my clients, or my partner down!!! Having those discussions are healing my mind, if not my body as well.
The 2nd week of Radiation Treatment started with a schedule change. We started with our "circle of support" road crew (I am thinking about getting them all T-Shirts that say TEAM TALBOTT...What do you think. :) ) to shuttle me up to Madison so Kim could go back to work.
My Mom started the shuttle service and was rewarded with more crappy Northern Illinois Weather for the drive up. :) It was nice being able to spend some one on one time with my mom in addition to its therapeutic value. I managed to stay awake on the way up there, but napped on the way back. The treatment yesterday went smoothly and we had new lab work done (a weekly event). Came down with a headache on the way back, but it was handled with tylenol and a nap. The rest of the night went very well and for the first time in more than a month, I slept all the way through the night. YEAH!
Today, I got my wish FEEL LIKE ME AGAIN! From the time I got up until writing this post, I have felt awesome. Swan was my driver today and we had a great time catching up with each other and spending a couple quality hours together. We figured out a trick that can help me avoid the headaches...stop for food right after radiation...food and caffeine.. How can we go wrong? :)
Due to MORE CRAPPY WEATHER on the way tonight, Kim has decided to take tomorrow off and take me up to Madison tonight. We are going to try and avoid the weather and stay at a hotel just outside of the UW Clinics. God Bless her.
As usual, she is my rock and there for me. I may have to have one of you support drivers take me on a short excursion after radiation one day to give me the chance to get something nice for Kim for Valentine's Day...I think she has earned it. :)
Thank you all for your THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS... I truly think they are helping!!!
As Princess AVA puts it best... PEACE OUT!!
Friday, February 1, 2008
1 Week Down 5 to Go!!!
I have completed my first week of Radiation!! I can't tell you how excited I am that it is the weekend. It means not having to travel up to UW Madision for 2 days. YEAH!!!
Well my whinyness has subsided and my throat is much better. Physically I am feeling pretty good.
After the trip to radiation today, Kim and I completed the last of our paperwork jungle needs...we executed wills and Power of Attorney. The process was painless and less emotional than I thought it would be. I actually feel relieved that we now have everything in order...it won't be needed for many many years, but Kim and I have been wanting to do it for years and we finally got it done.
As another major accomplishment, I spent a couple hours in my office at home going through end of year documents, etc getting prepared for tax season...Oh what a Joy. :)
I do have to admit that spending some time doing busy work like getting ready for tax season was a great mental lift. So I have set out my tasks for this weekend... Following TLC's Clean Sweep reality show concept, I am gutting my office and starting over as of Saturday Morning. Wish me luck. For any of you that have seen my home office, this is more hazardous than all the stuff related to my brain cancer... I COULD BE CRUSHED BY THE MOUNDS OF PAPER!!! :) Wish Me Luck!!!
On the positive side, Kim and I are going on an excursion to Bonnie and Gary's (aka MUFFIN's) to have dinner on Saturday with all of our friends from the cruise and finally go through all of the pictures we all took on the cruise in December. Guaranteed to be a great time. Its impossible to be around this group of friends without constantly laughing, which is exactly what I am looking for this weekend!
Kim and I are truly looking forward to spending a "NORMAL" weekend, the only trouble we are having is trying to figure out what that actually means. :) We will settle for a relaxing weekend, with no Doctors and as much laughing as we can handle, and maybe even a little housekeeping/clean sweeping to go with it. :)
Well my whinyness has subsided and my throat is much better. Physically I am feeling pretty good.
After the trip to radiation today, Kim and I completed the last of our paperwork jungle needs...we executed wills and Power of Attorney. The process was painless and less emotional than I thought it would be. I actually feel relieved that we now have everything in order...it won't be needed for many many years, but Kim and I have been wanting to do it for years and we finally got it done.
As another major accomplishment, I spent a couple hours in my office at home going through end of year documents, etc getting prepared for tax season...Oh what a Joy. :)
I do have to admit that spending some time doing busy work like getting ready for tax season was a great mental lift. So I have set out my tasks for this weekend... Following TLC's Clean Sweep reality show concept, I am gutting my office and starting over as of Saturday Morning. Wish me luck. For any of you that have seen my home office, this is more hazardous than all the stuff related to my brain cancer... I COULD BE CRUSHED BY THE MOUNDS OF PAPER!!! :) Wish Me Luck!!!
On the positive side, Kim and I are going on an excursion to Bonnie and Gary's (aka MUFFIN's) to have dinner on Saturday with all of our friends from the cruise and finally go through all of the pictures we all took on the cruise in December. Guaranteed to be a great time. Its impossible to be around this group of friends without constantly laughing, which is exactly what I am looking for this weekend!
Kim and I are truly looking forward to spending a "NORMAL" weekend, the only trouble we are having is trying to figure out what that actually means. :) We will settle for a relaxing weekend, with no Doctors and as much laughing as we can handle, and maybe even a little housekeeping/clean sweeping to go with it. :)
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