IT is what IT is.

IT is what IT is...a simple statement. A statement that has gotten Kim and I through more than many thought we could handle.

Our latest drama involves my wife Kim. About two years ago, my wife came down with something called OpticNeuritis. It caused temporary blindness in her right eye. It cleared up on its own, but through the course of Dr. appts, we learned that this is a common symptom of MS or Multiple Sclerosis. Now at the time, we chose not to do an MRI, because our Neurologist at the time said it would be inconclusive. Well a few weeks ago, Kim had the MRI done and her local Neurologist found a number of lesions on her brain and diagnosed it as MS.

We have known this for a couple weeks. The reason I have not blogged about it earlier was our fear of how people react when they hear "MS". MS is a very misunderstood disease. You probably know someone that has MS and don't even know it. It is a very common disease, and its a disease you CAN live with. Kim is starting a therapy called ReBiff that is a maintenance injection 3 days per week (kind of like an insulin shot). The purpose is to manage the symptoms in the short term and restrict the growth of the lesions in the brain, thus keeping the disease at bay as long as possible. As her Neurologist explains it...we are treating the disease now to help 20 years from now.

So, IT is what IT is. People have asked us both..."How can you handle all of this...from your Brain Tumor, to Kim's MS" Well, what else are we supposed to do? Sit around and Cry alot? Hell No that isn't going to happen...neither one of us are very good cryers.

The fact is We are alive, we love each other, we love our family and friends, we love what we do and we are choosing to LIVE! To us, there is no other choice. At least not one that is logical. :)

Life comes at you at a pretty fast clip. If you are not careful, the good stuff flys right by, and the bad stuff seems to hang out. Its like that optical illusion of the OLD WOMAN AND THE YOUNG WOMAN...depending on what angle you focus, the image changes.



You want to know how Kim and I do it? We keep changing our angle of perception. We are looking for the goodstuff and let the bad stuff fly right on by! This is a picture of us hanging on to the goodstuff!! :)

I am constantly inspired by my wife. This exercise reinforces that. It was a tough choice for her to disclose her MS diagnosis, but she is committed to show people that MS is something she has, not WHO she is!

She has MS, she is not defined by MS. She will not allow it to define her.

I have Brain Cancer, I am not defined by Brain Cancer. I will not allow it to define me.

If you were wondering where I get my inspiration, just look at the person in the picture next to me.

To put it in Kim's words... "That is just how we ROLL!"

If anyone would like to join us in our latest Journey, we will be walking together in the MS Walk 2008 in Rockford this Sunday, May 4th. Each and every one of you are welcome to join us! Send me a note or post a comment for more info.

PEACE OUT!

Spring is in the air...FINALLY

Ok, this Winter officially goes down as the longest Winter in History. The weather has finally begun to change! Now, I have always been a fan of change, and I have built my business on managing client's change. I am enjoying the change in weather, but another change has me a little disturbed.

To explain, I first need to let you know that this weekend, I had an old fashioned Poker Party at my house. All the old players were there from years ago when we played on a regular basis...Lyle, Swan, Lou, Doug, Jeff, and Skol. Now there is a reason we invite Skol. He is notorious for losing at poker and donating chips to every pot. He is ridiculously bad at bluffing and we love him for it. HOWEVER, this weekend, a first happened...SKOL won and won BIG! I have had to deal with alot, from surgery to Cancer treatment, but this is just TOO MUCH!!! :)

In all seriousness it was a great night. Kim set up the food and I even got to have my token drink (Dem Docs say I can have an Occasional Drink...that was it. :) )

I was able to spend time with friends, and do a lot of laughing. I can't think of a better way to spend a Saturday Night, except for the whole Skol winning crap. So if you see Skol, invite him out to Lunch...HE's BUYING!!!!!

Life has returned to as close to normal as I can imagine, the only exception being driving. I go back to the doc next week to fight that fight. :) I go back on April 30th for a checkup and restarting the Chemo. No MRI this month, only doing those every 8 weeks.

I apologize for not posting more often, but with things going so well, all I have to say is..LIFE IS GOOD, LIFE IS GREAT, and I am enjoying every minute I have! So, I will post when I have something interesting to say, or anything changes in my health. If you don't hear from me, then you can bet that I am working like a crazy man, DRIVING my mower, spending time with Kim, or just living life for every moment that I have!

Kim ran across a story that I think is a perfect life lesson. I hope you enjoy, I did!

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport.We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly.

So I asked, "Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!" This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, "The Law of the Garbage Truck."

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so..... "Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't." Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!

Miss Ava says.... "Give my Daddy Lyle Back his chips!" Oh yeah and PEACE OUT!

Inspiration from Odd places

After the results of my latest MRI, I was on a pretty solid week long High, and it wasn't just me... Everyone around me was able to share in the excitement from my family to my friends!

I apologize for not posting earlier, but any post that I would have written would have been one word long... WOW.

On Dateline this week they had the story about Randy Pausch, the Carnegie Mellon Professor that was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer and given 6 month of good living left. I found it flipping the channels and was able to watch it in its entirety. The tears flowed easily by the end of the show.

The brief synapsis for those of you that missed it is that he is not letting his diagnosis bring him down. The story is about his "Last Lecture" and how he is using his positive outlook carry him through his Cancer fight. He puts it very eloquently..."We can not change the cards we were dealt, only how we play the hand!" The entire lecture was about 2 things - Achieving your Childhood Dreams, and Enabling the Dreams of Others, but watch out for the "Head Fakes at the end...thats what put me over the edge with the Tears. :).

As I hope you can see, there is some similarity to what he is doing and what I am trying to do. He is so much more eloquent and inspiring with his approach. This is solidified my perspective and inspired me. The most amazing similarity was one comment he made in his lecture. At some point during his acceptance phase after the diagnosis, Randy and his wife looked at each other and said "It is what it is".

Those are the exact words that Kim and I said to each other the minute they said that I had a tumor, the minute the gave the pathology report, and the minute that they layed out the treatment plan.

"You can't change the cards you were dealt, only how you play the hand." That is going to be with me forever.

You can get a copy of Randy Pausch's "Last Lecture" through Itunes U for free for you IPOD users or you can get it from YouTube...just search "Randy Pausch" or "Last Lecture" I can't recommend it enough. It is inspiring! It truly makes you realize what you have.

Peace Out!

And the Dr News gets BETTER!

Today was my follow up appt with Dr. Crute, the amazing Neurosurgeon who did my surgery. I brought the MRI from Madison for her to review. We were hoping to get a more detailed explanation as to what was in the MRI. What we got was even more amazing...

Dr. Crute was physically excited with the results! She reviewed the written report and reviewed it with us. First and foremost, the spot of the tumor shows no residue! The secondary focus that they originally glowed with contrast showed nothing. Dr. Crute explained that as probably a lower grade Glioma that was knocked out by the radiation and chemo round 1. Now Dr. Crute has seen alot of these tumors and is always very cautious and reserved with setting our expectations. However, today, she was absolutely excited about the results. You can imagine how that makes me feel. But what really put me over the edge today was what she said next.

"I can't make any guarantees with GBM Tumors, however, based on my experience, your age, and the results of this MRI, I believe you have added YEARS to your life expectancy."

YEARS! NOW THAT'S ABSOLUTELY AMAZING...This comes from an original diagnosis of 6-18 months.

Dr. Crute is Kim and My new Hero! She not only made our day, but she saved my life! From an amazing surgery, that she admitted was one of the worse she has seen, to results that are off the charts in a positive manner! Not only is she an amazing surgeon, but she, by far, has the best patient interaction (bedside manner) of any Dr. that I have ever met. From the day I was admitted, through my whole hospital stay, and now the follow up meetings that I look forward to, she spends time talking us through any and all issues until she is sure that we understand. She is one of the most overtly caring Dr. that I have ever seen. To see her positive emotional reaction today when explaining the results to us was awesome. It was the true and real emotion that she shared that truly helped me BELIEVE!

So, thanks to Dr. Crute, I now am looking forward YEARS, not months! That is news that I just couldn't wait to share!!!

Peace Out!

Spring is in the air...

Sweet Sweet Rebellion is MINE!!! Dr Ian said absolutely no driving....But I found a way to rebel. I have not gone the Moped route yet, but I found the next best thing...

TODAY I GOT OUT THE RIDING LAWN MOWER, DROVE AROUND AND DETHATCHED THE YARD!!! WOO HOO!!!

Ok, I know you are all thinking that I have just lost my damn mind... :) Well I haven't completely lost my mind, but cabin fever has taken over!

Its amazing how much cabin fever has hit me this year. With the longer than normal Winter and all the health issues, I have been out of my mind waiting to be able to spend some time outside...today was that day! Kim and I spent a couple of hours running errands and then came home and I jumped at the opportunity to spend an hour dethatching my yard!! It helped that I DROVE the mower. :)

Some days its the little things that make you smile! I have learned not to take any of them for granted anymore!

As is becoming a weekly feature...My BLESSINGS FROM THE WEEK

1. A GREAT MRI showing No Progression and even some tumor resolution! Better than my Docs expected and the best results we could hope for!
2. Spending time with Craig and Sue and going to a Hockey game!
3. Enjoying being outside and DRIVING...even just the Mower. :)
4. Reading the overwhelming comments on my results post. Thank you all for the positive thoughts. I truly love reading the comments from all of you.
5. Deciding on my avenue to give back..>Charity Poker Tourney for the American Brain Tumor Association! Watch for details!
6. The blessing of friends...thank you is just not enough

Have a great week Everyone! PEACE OUT (from Little Miss Ava with Spring Fever)!

An Idea to give back!

You all already know that I am a huge fan of Poker. So, as I was thinking of ways to give back, I remember that Rockford/Chicago has an organization called Rockford Charitable Games. http://www.rockfordcharitablegames.com/charities.php

I have attended many of these events over the years and they get a fantastic draw.

I have just reached out to the organization, so I will let you know as the planning progresses. I would love to hear your thoughts about this concept.

The Goal - To raise money and awareness for Brain Tumor Research. All proceeds will go to the American Brain Tumor Assoc. www.abta.org who is headquarted in Des Plaines, IL just down the road.

Would love to hear your thoughts on this idea and maybe even some ideas for Names...the Talbott Annual MEMORIAL is NOT an option cause I plan to be around for a long damn time...

So maybe the POKER RUN for the BRAIN? LOL...obviously I have no creative bones in my body.

Your thoughts and Ideas are very welcome!

PEACE OUT!

The first Post Radiation MRI Results

After 6 weeks of Radiation and Chemo, I have been on a 4 week vacation from treatment protocol to allow me time to heal. Per protocol, I had to have an MRI done today. They have been telling me all along that this MRI will more than likely not tell us alot. They actually expect to see some tumor swelling and even growth at this stage.

So, I woke up this morning around 4am overthinking the entire upcoming MRI event. Finally got out of bed around 6am and had breakfast. After a quick shower and getting ready to leave, my nerves got the better of me and I vomitted breakfast back to General Mills. What a lovely visual huh? Imagine what a great start to the day it was for me!

Once we got going, Kim and I picked up my Mom and headed North to Madison. We had a 9:30 MRI appointment which was then followed by lunch at the UW cafeteria, and then off to our appt with Dr. Ian and his coordinator Diana. So we went and had the first of two conversations with Dr. Ian.

MRI RESULTS- "No Recurrence of the tumor, secondary focus is "entirely stable!", report even shows some resolution of tumor (shrinking). The Report looks GREAT" It was the best report that we could have received. It was even better than "No Progression" ...in essence - The Radiation Worked!!!!

So, being the smart ass that I am, I jumped right in and said..."So Dr. Ian, this means I can start driving today RIGHT?" Well...after a 15 min tirade and explanation..."You do have a serious Brain Tumor, Liability, Legal thing, High risk patient, blah, blah, blah....I LOST... No Driving for me.

Now being the pouting baby that I am, what I took from the entire conversation...was just the no driving thing. From that meeting, I had to go get bloodwork done and wait for the results so they could dispense the chemo. So I sat and waited for the results of the bloodwork...totally pissed off about not winning my battle to drive. Now I understand the reason he is so strict. He is worried about being liable if he says ok. It is still incredibly frustrating considering I have never had a seizure and I am feeling so well, but I obviously don't want to take the chance of hurting someone else if I have a seizure while driving, but I was still PISSED OFF!

So being the ROCK that she is Kim says...in her own way (I am paraphrasing)..."Hey Dumbass, don't you realize what that MRI Meant...YOU TOOK A BIG STEP TOWARDS REMISSION TODAY!" You can LIVE without driving!" :)

Which of course she is right, so by the time we collected all of the chemo drugs, I finally felt the excitement of the MRI Results and had created a solution to the No Driving Thing....

He said no driving, not NO RIDING... at least with this I can only hurt myself. So don't be suprised if you see me this summer cruising my way around Marengo and my friends at Flatlanders in this hot new ride...

So in closing, it looks like I am going to be around a little longer to be a pain in the ass to my doctors! :) My Chemo will probably last 12 cycles. I take 5 days of Chemo every month at twice the dosage that I took before. I start tonight and go through Monday. I will go up to see Dr. Ian and Diana once a month for new bloodwork and picking up the next month's chemo drugs. I have some new targets that I heard Dr. Ian talking about today... Once a Survivor of a GBM makes it to the 5 year mark, he considers them cured. So, one step at a time, but I have a new goal. 5 Years!!!! Please keep up the positive thoughts and prayers, they helped me accomplish the AMAZING....a GREAT MRI REPORT after Radiation when the doctors expected it to be much worse!!!

LIFE IS GOOD!!!

PEACE OUT!!!