Tears of a Clown

The title is a pretty cheesy thought stolen from the title of an 80's Tune, but it fits my mindset today!

I went back and reviewed some of the blog entries and comments that have been posted and I was completely blown away - AGAIN. It amazes me the impact that I have had in my professional career on individuals. I have always believed that you need to treat each person with respect and motivate them individually. When I first started NH Rockford, Mark P and I spent alot of time - at a local pub of course- discussing how we wanted to motivate and build our team of employees. NH Rockford was a pretty amazing organization. We still hold records on revenue development from startup and per capita sales. All of that had to do with the team that we built. As Marky P puts it, it was the first organization that any of us have been involved in that truly had everyone rowing the boat in the same direction. :)

The thing that really stuck with me today was a post from MJ Wilcox, one of the best instructors that I have ever worked with. I can't seem to get it out of my mind today, so I will share it with all of you.

mjwilcox said...
Steve, I remember clearly the day at New Horizons that I failed my first (and only) Microsoft exam. I remembering walking into your office feeling like I had been defeated, but when I walked out I felt like I could conquer the world. Your encouraging words gave me confidence that has stayed with me, and I haven't failed a single test since that day. You had such a positive effect on me and gave me the confidence to know that I would succeed with whatever challenge I was faced. Put simply, you believed in me. I see this positive and inspirational attitude being returned to you a hundred times over. You have a large circle of friends who are here to support you, walk with you during this journey, and believe in YOU. You are in my thoughts and prayers often.

To even think that I have had the ability to touch people like that makes everything that I have done in my life worthwhile. It makes the fight that I am facing now worth it. In reading the book by Lance Armstrong that I mentioned in an earlier post, he says something that originally floored me "Given a choice between cancer and winning the Tour de France, I'd choose the cancer. What I mean is that I wouldn't have learned all I did if I hadn't had to contend with the cancer. " - Lance Armstrong "It's Not About the Bike, My Journey Back to Life"

After thinking about MJs post and the mental review of what I have done in my life and what I still plan to do, I finally understand. My forthcoming battle with cancer has forced me to appreciate the outstanding life that I have led, and more importantly have left to lead. From my professional life and the individuals that I have helped grow their careers to the lifelong friends I have made, to the family that I am so thankful for, to my wife who is my life and keeps me going every day!

With that in mind, I have a big thank you that I want to share. This is for my Father- Bill. He adopted my sister and I after marrying my Mom when I was around 12-13 yrs old. I was a little shit of a preteen at that time and he was firm with me. This I can promise you. If it wasn't for him, I would have never gone to college, finished college, or gotten my Masters Degree. In other words, I owe much of my professional career to him for the way he raised me and I will forever be thankful to him for that. I have never been able to express that to him verbally, but I truly hope he knows it. Dad, Now that the jello that was my brain when I was 13 has been removed, I am able to understand the value of what you gave me. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You! :)

It goes without saying that the rest of my family has had a huge impact on me as well, such as my Mom who has laughed with me, cryed with me, and slapped me upside the head helping me get my head out of my ass. :) I have always had a special relationship with her and it has carried me through so many key events in my life. My brother Kevin who helped me so much as a teen understand what the hell my Dad meant with some of his punishments (the jello was definitely in the way at that time) to giving me someone to look up to and push me to achieve more. To my sister who put up with me mercilessly torturing her while I babysat her and who now I am so proud of the woman and mother that she has become. Thank you and I love you all.

I apologize for the sentimental post today, but between MJs post and the Armstrong book, I have spent alot of time thinking about my life. I can promise you this. I am more committed than ever to doing everything within my power to survive this battle!

They tell me tears are cleansing...after this, I should be pretty well cleaned out. :)